To offer a stranger a tissue?

[dudsville]

Honestly, I was waiting to see a thread about this as I saw her typing away afterward! I will presume for now she was not a mner or that she just had better things to communicate about.

I take the same train everyday. I sat next to someone I had seen before but we have never exchanged any pleasantries, it's a commuter train on a busy line. She sneezed and proceeded to seem to struggle with lots of sniffing and nose wipes with furtive clothing touches after.

I've thought about this before. If I was ever in that situation I would be very grateful if someone offered me a tissue.

So, I offered her a tissue.

She did not want it. All fine. But of course I sat there neurotically pretending that what had just happened was perfectly normal. It wasn't normal, was it? I crossed a social barrier that says we must ignore others at times like these???

I would have been very grateful and actually would have done the same in your position. I can't abide sniffing!!

Thanks liveatcityhall, I also can't abide sniffling!!! But I have/had headphones, so my comfort wasn't the driver, not that this was your implication. I've rarely been caught out without a tissue but when I have it's so uncomfortable.

I would have been grateful to you!

I'd accept it gratefully although being a bit embarrassed

Oh, if I had a cold or hay fever or something and hadn’t got a tissue I’d be delighted if someone offered me one. Although sometimes ‘Oh, no, I’m fine, thanks’ is just my default introvert’s panic response to anything offered by a stranger even when it’s something I then immediately realise I did need, so it might just be that this woman, like me, regularly botches surprise social interactions.

I would have taken it gratefully, and used it. However, I know several people who would be very VERY put off in a EWWW-STRANGER-GERMS way.

YWNBU at all. Bit silly of her not to take it really!

Thanks, that's helpful to hear. I was feeling a little ridiculous, it's nice to know the offer would have been considered acceptable to some. It might have been considered acceptable to her but she felt she didn't feel she needed it.

Maybe she was afraid it was laced with cocaine

shiny, absolutely. I showed her the packet and offered opened it and offered her a fresh one.

drum, isn't that the norm?

I thought a woman was crying one day and asked her if she was ok and offered her a tissue

It turns out that she just had a sad looking face so that was really awkward

@ShirleyPhallus that made me chuckle

Sniffing (dry sniffing) is one of my tics that I sometimes get and I can’t help myself (sorry), I don’t need a tissue but I have one with me anyway so I don’t look too weird.

If the woman was wiping her nose on her clothes, which is pretty gross, then it sounded like she could have used a tissue. I don’t think you were being unreasonable to offer her one and I would have been grateful if I was caught out without one.

This is Mn so someone has to pop up with some ridiculous, obscure fear of tissues

fuck me there is one

appsychdisorder.weebly.com/phobia.html

“I have a fear of tissues, or more specifically tissues that are wet and crumpled. This extends to toilet roll, paper napkins, anything like that. The sight of them really unsettles me and the thought of touching them makes me feel sick. Once I actually was sick when I was left with no choice but to use a tissue to clear up when I spilled a drink down myself on a train.

“If someone at the dinner table puts a dirty, crumpled paper napkin on their plate or on the table it completely puts me off my food. This can be really difficult when I am around people I don’t know. I regularly have to create barriers with glasses and condiments to keep other people’s napkins out of sight and when I’m at work I have to ask colleagues to clear up if I spill water – the thought of mopping it up with disintegrating tissue turns my stomach.”

Rachel has suffered from this fear as long as she can remember, and although she can’t pinpoint where or how her phobia developed, she remembers being distressed when having swimming lessons as a child and having to change in rooms filled with water and piles of soggy tissue.

www.phobiasource.com/papyrophobia-is-defined-as-a-pathological-irrational-fear-of-paper/

Individuals coping with Papyrophobia find that their morbid worry of paper can take many forms. Some papyrophobic individuals indeed do fear a clean piece of paper, while others cannot address crumpled paper. Other people report that the size of the paper is important and that their anxiety increases in line with how small the piece of paper is. Still others who are suffering with Papyrophobia fear the ripping of paper and even wet paper.

But I have/had headphones, so my comfort wasn't the driver, not that this was your implication.

^^

What?

I’ve done this twice for women who were crying on the Tube! Both accepted. I had a chat with one of them. I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong by acknowledging someone else’s upset. She said no, you presumably didn’t pry, so all fine IMO. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

Um I can’t read, I got mixed up with a PP’s comment. Ignore me

However, I know several people who would be very VERY put off in a EWWW-STRANGER-GERMS way.

I don”t think OP was offering a snotty used tissue was she?

I’d have been thrilled

I find situations like this really hard. I saw a heavily pregnant lady at the pool recently whose cosume was about to pop open. I offered to sort it for her but it was super awkward!

If I was in need of a tissue I'd be delighted if I was offered one! I've occasionally offered to REALLY persistent sniffers before but 70% of the time I'm turned down, so it's likely a tic or sinus issue. I hate persistent sniffing, as do most people but sometimes a person can't help it.

Oh, I'd have been so grateful. I get bad hayfever and in summer I got a terrible nosebleed on the tube and everyone just stared at me in horror. One person MUST have had a tissue. They must have.

I used to get nosebleeds but they'd come so randomly and so badly that I'd often be caught without enough tissues. I often had strangers offering me tissues and I was extremely grateful for them!