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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a lot of Ebay buyers are CFs?

110 replies

applecrumbl3 · 06/09/2019 16:40

I just sold a few items on Ebay, all nice dresses that I have decided are a bit young (i.e. short!) for me now. Everyone paid (eventually) and I posted using Royal Mail first class as indicated on the listing.

Out of 5 items, two people have come back to me. One asked for the 'tracking number' so she could track delivery. She hasn't actually said it hasn't been delivered, and all the other items posted at the same time have arrived safely. She knows there isn't a 'tracking number' bc its first class mail, untracked. She likely also knows that if she complains to Ebay they will 100% side with her even if I show the postage receipt and she will get a full refund. I know this because it happened last time I sold things on Ebay. Do this many things really get lost in the mail?!

Another girl sent me a very short message alleging that the item wasn't as described because it didn't fit her and therefore I must have shrunk it so she demanded to return it. I replied to say that I hadn't shrunk it as I hadn't washed it (it was silk) or even dry cleaned it as had only worn it once or so (this is all true, it was in as new condition). I said usual Ebay etiquette would be to accept things don't always work out when you don't try them on in a shop, and simply sell on. She said it wasn't the same as her other items from the same brand, therefore wasn't as described and she wanted to return.

I was pretty pissed off by the pair of them, and decided enough was enough. By chance buyer 2 works in my industry but is more junior than me, and I am now client side and head of the function. I therefore wrote back very sweetly and said that I was 100% sure that the item was as described, the listing had stated no returns, and I didn't really want to refund her. However, I said, "as it happens I am due to meet one of your senior colleagues next week at your offices so I would be happy to meet up with you beforehand so you can show me your existing item and how the sizing differs and then of course you can have a refund." As I happen to be looking for some professional advice in relation to a big project, I also emailed one of her senior colleagues to set up a meeting just in case!! Funnily enough she replied to say not to worry about it and she hadn't realised it was no refunds and she would try to sell or give it to a skinnier friend! Hmm

AIBU to think that people are really naughty and completely trying it on?!

OP posts:
RosieLancs · 06/09/2019 19:45

People talk, it's likely she will tell people at the office about the nutterbutter from XYZ and her crazy attitude so just be aware that next time you have any dealings with that company they will be laughing at you.

PatricksRum · 06/09/2019 19:51

You need to send items tracked.

Why did you sell a used item as new condition? - my pet hate

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 06/09/2019 19:51

We had one who bought a product (for a child), evidently decided she didn't want it, and after faffing us around for several months, tried claiming that her baby had died so she didn't need it any more Hmm (BTW it definitely wasn't true)

m00Ma · 06/09/2019 22:48

EBay has been a crash course in the gamut of what people regard as acceptable behaviour.I only buy as I have been put off selling by the reams of horror stories from sellers. My post was recently vanishing on an unprecedented scale, it was a combination of new light -fingered neighbours, and the most aggressive, deceitful Hermes driver I've ever encountered. I didn't claim from one seller as it was not their fault.
There are plenty of cf sellers:the ones who cancel a win claiming damage, then re-list hoping for higher prices; the ones who cancel bids/wins if asked for pics of actual instead of shop stock pics, the ones who disappear for months then say it's not worth their while (why start at 9th bidding then?) & have to be pursued for refund. And of course, out and out liars. But most, happily, are outnumbered by the lovely ones who appreciate a thoughtful message, understand that the post office does a proof of posting for free thus tracking can be pursued, and realise that treating others as we wish to be treated is a fine way to conduct business!
You really don't seem to be approaching selling with a generosity of spirit, OP. Surely we have passed the Mean Girls stage when we leave school?

m00Ma · 06/09/2019 22:49

*Didn't claim from a single seller, I meant to say. Though one took pity and refunded me anyway, which was sweet.

Notquiteagandt · 07/09/2019 00:11

You sound far to invested and a little unhinged. Why would you stalk them like that?

OneStepSideways · 07/09/2019 07:23

I've bought 100s of items on eBay (mostly clothes) and only a couple have been lost in the post! But if you've worn an item even for a few hours you should describe it as 'used' and

OneStepSideways · 07/09/2019 07:24

...and wash/dry clean it. Also check for holes, I've had lots of items with holes described as 'almost new'!

Toffeecakes · 07/09/2019 07:52

And this is why EBay fails 70% of the time. The item wasn’t as described, it was used and unwashed.

I’d placed an item for sale, someone bought it and then DH took the wrong bag to the charity shop. I used the eBay ‘cancel item’ procedure and received loads of abusive messages off my buyer saying how she wasn’t sure it was even legal to do that. She threatened me with all sorts, she’d got her money back and it was within 2 hours of her paying that I cancelled it. Not ideal, I apologised profusely and didn’t acknowledge the threats but she kept on going, she called me a cunt !

The item was a pair of children’s shorts, they were used and she’d paid £3.00 plus post. I’m not sure the reaction was worth it. People are weird.

OneInEight · 07/09/2019 07:58

In defence of ebay customers. I have had a number of customers who when I have issued a refund for the late arrival of an item then will repay me when it does arrive. There are a lot of honest people out there.

Mind you I steer well clear from selling clothes as it is so easy to miss a defect when describing or for sizes to vary from one manufacturer to another.

MarchionessOfCholmondeley · 07/09/2019 08:15

its sellers like you that have put me of using eBay. Cannot believe you would bring work into an ebay transaction. Not a normal reaction from you at all

PhilCornwall1 · 07/09/2019 08:17

Regardless of whether the buyer was being cheeky or not. If you had come back to me bringing work into this in the way you did (mentioning senior people), I would have considered it a veiled threat and you would have been on the receiving end of a complaint to your employer, along with a copy of the email sent as proof.

Kazzyhoward · 07/09/2019 08:24

Welcome to the world of dealing with other people. Whilst most are fine, there's a significant minority who are mentally unhinged. Anyone dealing with the public knows this, whether directly such as in a shop or indirectly via ebay/facebook etc. If you want to deal with people you have to accept that sometimes it will go wrong and you may end up out of pocket. It's life - accept it and move on.

JacquesHammer · 07/09/2019 08:49

there's a significant minority who are mentally unhinged

I think the OP appears to fall into that category!

GreenwoodLane · 07/09/2019 09:02

There are tracking options out there without paying extra.

If you buy your postage through eBay, you print out a label st home and take it to the post office and they scan it. It costs the same amount as regular 1st / 2nd class but it’s tracked, and the tracking info is automatically uploaded to eBay when it’s scanned.

I’ve been doing this for about 6 weeks and I’ve had one item not arrive. In this case I took out a claim with Royal Mail and they’ve refunded me the value of the item plus postage.

olbndansmummy · 07/09/2019 12:09

See the op hasn't had the right responses so has done a disappearing act

Greyponcho · 07/09/2019 12:52

Re: sizing - I recently sold a H&M dress on eBay. Buyer said it was too small and not as described. What I hadn’t realised was since I had bought the dress, H&M changed their sizing so it was a size smaller than their current sizing. So technically, buyer was right so I refunded and paid for returned tracked postage.
Sellers can sometimes make unwitting mistakes and you just have to suck it up 🤷‍♀️

ConcreteUnderpants · 07/09/2019 17:31

You are batshit. Like a quite frightening scary kind of batshit.

SunshineAngel · 07/09/2019 17:44

My partner is a sole trader and sells on eBay amongst other platforms. We have a lot of problems with this. We sent a package to someone which was tracked, and signed for, and we had the proof plus signature that it had been delivered - and they contacted eBay and said it hadn't been delivered to them and wasn't their signature. Really!!

Several examples of similar things, including one person complaining that one product that he apparently usually buys directly from the manufacturer is fake, as it smells different. We buy LITERALLY directly from the manufacturer, as in from the factory, so it's most definitely NOT fake, and yet eBay refunded him.

And every time, our account is damaged for a couple of months, dropping our sales.

It's ridiculous. Some people just want something for free without thinking about what they're doing to other people, and their businesses, by doing that.

Cohle · 07/09/2019 17:50

Wow, your behaviour has been appealing.

I hope this thread prompts you to consider the way you have behaved, even if you aren't going to reply here.

plunkplunkfizz · 07/09/2019 18:07

This thread certainly didn’t go how the OP expected. I get the feeling she thought we would thrill at her amazing resourcefulness.

You say she’s not junior OP then in the same breath confirm she is your junior within the profession. I highly doubt if you’d realised she was your senior you would have acted in the same way. How can that not be an abuse of your position? Shameful.

ConcreteUnderpants · 08/09/2019 11:16

I agree plunkplunkfizz
If only I'd been resourceful enough to describe a worn dress as new and then creepily threaten the buyer at work...Grin

ChancePeace · 08/09/2019 11:49

YANBU. I sold a barely worn Next baby clothes bundle and the buyer was refunded without me even so much as receiving a message from them. I only knew when I checked my bank statement and it had taken out the order amount through PayPal. Never sold on there again. There was nothing wrong with the items so the buyer got a lot of expensive baby clothes for free!

Kazzyhoward · 09/09/2019 08:07

It's ridiculous. Some people just want something for free without thinking about what they're doing to other people, and their businesses, by doing that.

How is that different to shoplifting from a bricks & mortar shop? Stock loss is part of being in business, whether it's damage, theft, or ebayers pulling a fast one.

Ticklemeelmo · 09/09/2019 09:25

My guess is she backed down on the item she bought from you as she was worried about the potential repercussions at work of pissing off a client, not because she didn't genuinely have a problem with the item.

You were in the wrong to bring work into this