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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School packed lunch.

157 replies

Weedinosaurus · 06/09/2019 13:43

I really don’t think I’m being U here but before I go to the school, I’m after feedback about dds packed lunch.

Dd is in Y4 and is taking her own lunch for the first time. She’s always had school lunches.
I’ve just received an email from school advising me to consider the content and portion size in dds lunch box and to ask the school if I need advice on providing an appropriate lunch.

Example lunch for dd today is:
Ham sandwich on wholemeal bread (1 slice of bread)
3 cherry tomatoes
Cucumber and pepper sticks
A pot of chopped strawberrries
A packet of quavers
Fromage Frais

For break time snack she took a banana.

I get that ham isn’t great and the quavers could be better, but isn’t it about balance?

I’m sure that’s an okay lunch? Or am I just uneducated?

Tell me before I look daft by asking the school what the problem is.

Dd is active and not overweight.

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 06/09/2019 15:55

If I was going all "healthy lunch" I would be inclined to drop the crisps in favour of a whole round of sandwiches.

But, meh, I usually have crisps and sandwich for my lunch...

Pinkblueberry · 06/09/2019 15:56

I would take up their offer of getting some advice from them and let them explain what they think the problem is - I’m interested to know what they say because I agree the lunch sounds fine.

Wilmalovescake · 06/09/2019 15:57

What a load of bollocks.

My Y4 DD only eats half a wrap or a one-slice sandwich. If I give her more it just comes home. She also has 2 or 3 of the following: cherry tomatoes/cucumber/carrot sticks/Babybel/chicken bite/mini sausage/apple/grapes/strawberries and 1 of the following: cereal bar/crisps/brownie or flapjack bite (the tiny little square ones).

She’s tall, she’s slim, she’s active and happy. What works for her won’t work for everyone but isn’t that bloody obvious?

Half a packet of crisps indeed Grin

doginthemanger · 06/09/2019 16:00

Good grief. When you tell them what she eats for breakfast and dinner I hope they agree she's well and healthily fed.

SarahTancredi · 06/09/2019 16:02

So they cant even tell you wants wrong with it? They need a weekend to think of an excuse hence the appointment Hmm

Something so awful ot requires an email yet can carry on til you get round to making an appointment. Yeah that makes senseConfused

bestbefore · 06/09/2019 16:03

I have teens and honestly that lunch is fine - I would have been very impressed if my kids ate that much good stuff. Nothing wrong with ham and nothing wrong with crisps either with that other stuff.
I'd just ignore it...I bet it's healthier than school meals!

Jeezoh · 06/09/2019 16:04

That lunchbox sounds pretty standard to me. I’d be interested in what they offer for school dinners, ours still includes a lot of sponge & custard type puddings - I bet the lunchbox is healthier than some of the cooked meals!

JupiterJane · 06/09/2019 16:06

My 3-year takes a packed lunch to nursery. He had a full ham and cheese sandwich (2 slices of bread, a pot of natural yoghurt with 4 chopped strawberries, a pot of hummus and some carrot sticks and a yo-yo. I think you need to up the sandwich to a full one

GhostHoward · 06/09/2019 16:09

The contents sound fine (quaver's are probably the least inoffensive of crisps, she could have) but the quantity does seem on the low side. Then again, you know what she's likely to eat. You could add a little pot of hummus with veg and breadsticks, maybe?

My year 3 child has just gone onto packed lunch (he wants it rather than school lunch) and I'm still trying to find the correct portion sizes. I'm worried I won't give him enough.

Last year I worked in his school and was horrified at what some of the children got for packed lunch. Think cold fast food, daily. Dominoes pizza. Cold chips and deep fried chicken. Cold takeaway burgers. Sausage rolls accompanied purely by other beige food. It was horrible. I have to wonder if their parents have ever tried to eat a cold chip.

As a comparison for portion sizes, my very slight, but tall 7yo had:

Wednesday, a cream cheese bagel, a small slice of brie, red pepper, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, a handful of crisps and some grapes. He left most of the crisps and the cucumber.

Yesterday he had a blue cheese bagel, with watercress, veggies (as above), olives, strawberries, blueberries and a frube. He left loads.

Today he had hummus, pitta and veggies, grapes, yoghurt and jelly. He ate everything.

Next week I'm going to try pasta pesto and possibly a rice salad...although I'm sure he'd live on bagels and pitta bread if I let him. I worry a bit about the fat content, but he's trying to eat vegetarian for most of his meals, and loves cheese.

I'd go in and ask the school what their meaning is behind the note. It's really unhelpful of them to send it without any actual advice. My guess is it'll have been thought to not be enough (for the average child her age).

CassianAndor · 06/09/2019 16:09

I wouldn't even say anything about your choices. I would just ignore it and if pushed state that you're happy with your child's lunch.

You don't need to defend yourself against people who won't explain themselves.

TheOrigFV45 · 06/09/2019 16:10

I think if she's having a banana at break time then the lunch is fine for an average 8 year old.

At her age she's quite able to tell you if it's not enough, and you'd see if it's too much because they bring it all home.

NoSquirrels · 06/09/2019 16:13

I wouldn’t bother telling them anything and I would continue to send whatever I thought was OK, including Quavers and ham (which is a perfectly standard sandwich filling the world over in one form or another!)

After all, if they’re THAT bothered they can make an appointment with you to speak about it, rather than the other way around.

Ignore them. Ridiculous!

Weedinosaurus · 06/09/2019 16:14

@JupiterJane please RTFT. I’ve repeatedly addressed the full sandwich thing throughout the thread.

OP posts:
worriedaboutmygirl · 06/09/2019 16:18

Maybe she did swapsies and ended up with someone else’s redbull and harribos? Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with that lunch. If it’s the crisps, they really need to state they have a no crisps policy. Might be worth checking the website in case there is one

Bluntness100 · 06/09/2019 16:18

If this kid has always had school lunches though, the teacher will know exactly how much she eats, ie if she eats it all, or asks for more, and if the kid is then moved to packed lunches and he or she then sees the main lunch part she now has is only half a ham sandwich and some bits of cherry toms and cucumber you can see why they may chose to intervene.

So this may be in response to what they have witnessed as her normal appetite

Weedinosaurus · 06/09/2019 16:19

@GhostHoward I can’t even imagine giving a child left over take out food. That’s really sad. I could fully understand that being pulled up by a school.

Bagel is an idea I hadn’t thought of too! Dd isn’t a fan of strong cheese, I can’t get her anywhere bear blue cheese but she does like Brie and smoked applewood.

OP posts:
Fresta · 06/09/2019 16:20

She's eight- my dd would only eat one slice at that age- especially if she had some salad with it and a dessert after. No wonder kids are obese!

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 06/09/2019 16:22

It's a perfectly good lunch and I'd warrant a hell of a lot more nutritious than 1. 90% of the rest of the school 2. the school dinners on offer 3. whatever the teacher in question had for their lunch.

I would be torn with making the appointment and asking for a detailed explanation of what they think is wrong with it.... or ignoring it entirely and carry on sending something similar.

Weedinosaurus · 06/09/2019 16:22

@Bluntness100 I’ve appreciated your points but I think you’re off the mark. Dd has said herself she was satisfied. I have checked with her and was willing to change portion sizes if necessary. If this is schools perception also, then I will explain and ask them to move on. Like I’ve said above, the lunch needs to placed into the context of her diet as a whole and related to her overall health. Her health is good and whilst her diet could always be improved, it is balanced and good enough.

OP posts:
PhantomErik · 06/09/2019 16:24

My 10 year old dd can only eat 1 slice of bread sandwiches, she usually has egg mayo on wholemeal bread.

Then has a small pot of fruit or single piece like an apple or banana that she can eat at break time if she wants to.

With that she has a small packet of crisps or mini cheddars & a biscuit bar.

She's tiny & can't eat much in one go. Her food at home is healthier but to be honest all/most of her friends take crisps & choc bars everyday so she wants to fit in.

RatherBeRiding · 06/09/2019 16:24

What an absolute waste of your time. If your DD is happy with what's in her lunch, and isn't hungry afterwards, then crack on.

Some children eat more than others, some children like certain things, some children will only eat certain things.

You know her appetite and likes and dislikes. The school doesn't.

You've tried to query it - they've fobbed you off. TBH the patronising tone of the original email with it's "do you need us to advise you on suitable nutrition" gist would have had me seeing red and I think you've been more than reasonable by trying to respond to it.

Now it's time to ignore it and carry on with your packed lunches the way your child likes them.

Bluntness100 · 06/09/2019 16:25

Op. I mean this politely but I was guessing at the schools motivation, how do you know I'm off the mark if you haven't spoken to them? I was simply saying they could be comparing what they have previously seen her eat pm school lunches.

WreckTangled · 06/09/2019 16:25

My dd has requested pasta pesto with broccoli and feta next week. She has a thermos food flask and will have soup once the weather gets colder. It is such a bore trying to think of nice healthy lunches

JemSynergy · 06/09/2019 16:26

My DD is a very light eater and usually brings half of her lunch home! We have "packed lunch police" at our school who will comment on the contents of the child's pack lunch, at times even telling the child to not eat something they don't deem "healthy".

teenagetantrums · 06/09/2019 16:28

Honestly my kids are grown now but the we t to school 20plus years ago. Packed lunch was a sandwich, packet of crisps a bit of fruit and maybe a biscuit. Not the best lunch maybe by today's standards but the managed to grow to healthy,not overweight adults . To be honest the packed lunch was better than the crap served at school dinners.feed your child what you want.

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