School packed lunch.

[Weedinosaurus]

I really don’t think I’m being U here but before I go to the school, I’m after feedback about dds packed lunch.

Dd is in Y4 and is taking her own lunch for the first time. She’s always had school lunches.
I’ve just received an email from school advising me to consider the content and portion size in dds lunch box and to ask the school if I need advice on providing an appropriate lunch.

Example lunch for dd today is:
Ham sandwich on wholemeal bread (1 slice of bread)
3 cherry tomatoes
Cucumber and pepper sticks
A pot of chopped strawberrries
A packet of quavers
Fromage Frais

For break time snack she took a banana.

I get that ham isn’t great and the quavers could be better, but isn’t it about balance?

I’m sure that’s an okay lunch? Or am I just uneducated?

Tell me before I look daft by asking the school what the problem is.

Dd is active and not overweight.

Bloody lunch box busy body police! I hate judgemental schools like that. Who the feck do they think they are to query what you pack in your DD's lunch box?
Truth is there is nought they can legally do about it so tell them to butt out. You will put in whatever you want!

Why has she moved from having school lunches op? The teacher may likely know how much she usually eats at lunch time if she's historically been eating school lunches, which when they see half a sandwich may have raised some concerns.

I cannot abide the lunchbox police. Your DD's lunch is perfectly fine.

I would reply to the email explaining that you consider it a good and balanced lunch and you do not require any further advice, thank you very much.r

It gets much less "in-your-face" when they get to secondary school. That has been my experience anyway, with three DDs going to two different ones. There they never tried to police what the kids ate, or often if they ate at all. I preferred it that way to some nosy parker snooping in lunchboxes.

At some point they need to back off and let kids and parents sort this stuff out - I am sure if she's in Y4 your daughter can say "mum, I want extra for lunch".

DS1 is in Y1, his lunch today was ham sandwich (two slices of bread), chopped up cheddar, grapes and a small fromage frais. It's less than other kids in his year, but he's bad about eating the two kinds of fruit and one kind of veg he will touch at all, so if I put too much other stuff in he won't eat it, as they have only 20 minutes to get their lunch, sit down and eat.

I think it sounds fine. My toddler DD would eat more sandwich than that but if your DD just won't then I agree there's little point putting a full round in.

I'd try to add some more calories elsewhere either with pasta salad as pp have suggested or some bits of chicken, avocado (if you get the frozen cubes it doesn't go brown by lunchtime), couscous with roasted veg in it, soup (I'm lucky my DD will eat it cold!), houmous dip with strips of pitta bread or carrot sticks.

That's ridiculous! Please tell me you're not in Scotland if you are I bet I'm about to get the same email DD had almost the same as you're describing. She doesn't eat a whole sarnie at lunch either, though likes to save some of her pack lunch to scoff in the park after school. You know your daughter best and sounds like she's a healthy weight. God, you don't know what thing you're supposed to worry about next!

My son takes a sandwich, (tuna or ham or cheese) 2x fruit (most often a banana & grapes) some form of protein like a boiled egg or cocktail sausages & usually a babybel/cheese string. He's likes knowing what hes having so we rarely stray from this, maybe swap the cheese for a yogurt occasionally!

I do think it is the school's responsibility to check lunches are adequate so strongly disagree to comments saying otherwise.

It's often where neglect is spotted. If someone has given their child nothing... or a just a red bull or a mars bar, it's can be indicative of problems at home. Schools have a responsibility to alert social services to suspected abuse or neglect (just like I might have to do so as a doctor if a child is losing weight centiles without a medical cause, or unexplained bruising, acute behavioural change, etc).

It's blatantly obvious the OP doesn't fall into this category, but to say they have no business checking lunches is dangerous. It's everyone's responsibility to protect children.

OP if you are happy just thank the school for their concern but advise them she gets her calorie needs elsewhere.

If that's how much your DD eats, it seems fine. I'm sure staff probably think I'm sending far too much for my 7y/o DD... but she generally eats it all, is extremely active, & not overweight. This week she's had 1 sandwich (2 slices wholemeal bread) with tuna mayo, egg mayo or cheese, cucumber & carrot sticks & a couple of cherry tomatoes, a dollop of hummus in a pot, a piece of fresh fruit, also bag with a few nuts, raisins, dried cranberries & a couple of banana chips - about a tablespoonful in total, & 1 treat item - cheese string, peperami, chocolate biscuit, or crisps, she gets to choose. She also takes an apple every day for breaktime.

However, she messes about an inordinate amount at breakfast time so she doesn't eat much, then. Since she's switched to packed lunches, she's completely stopped asking for snacks after school, she always used to be ravenous.

How can you have a sandwich with one slice of bread?

When mine was at school, used to take two rounds of cheese and pickle sandwiches, occasionally other filling but preferred c&p. Piece of fruit, eg an apple, a drink (carton of fruit juice), penguin biscuit, sometimes yoghurt.

School didn't interfere, kids used to swap things and nobody cared. They all grew up quite healthy, had a good meal in the evening.

2 slices is what I'd have as an adult. Neither of my two would have eaten more than one slice in year 4

Sometimes 2 slices is even too much as an adult. Once slice is fine for a child especially when there is other stuff in there

Doubling up just to placate the school would mean throwing away 5 days worth of sandwiches which is ridiculous and wasteful

How can you have a sandwich with one slice of bread?

easily. one slice of bread folded in half with the filling in between.

Sounds all right to me - what's their problem?

My Yr 4 took today: 4 mini sausages, half a cheese & pesto wrap, salad (lettuce, cucumber, pepper), a nectarine and a mini pack of cookies.

So I reckon your DD probably has more than my DC in their lunch - and if anyone moaned at me I'd think they were odd.

My dd also eats little at lunch. She had dinners on an off throughout primary. In yr6 a lot of the other children on dinners were starving. She was fine. Inn yr4 she took a pepperami or equivalent amount of cooked chicken / ham etc , a packet of mini cheddars or similar, a small apple for break and another portion of fruit for pudding and carrot / cucumber sticks. I tried with baby bel, frube etc but just got left. Had I given her a one slice sandwich as well she would have left the veg. Had I given her a two slice sandwich and no mini cheddars she still would have left the veg. What your dd is eating is fine to me.

I tend to decant some crisps / salted popcorn into a container for DS' lunch, as he doesn't need a full pack of these, and it makes a multipack last longer. I just put a clip on the other half and send it with him next packed lunch.

I'd reply thanking them for their email (whilst thinking something less charitable) and ask what the concerns are that they have about your DC's lunch. If your DD has commented to someone, even if staff just overheard her saying to a friend "oh look, you've got loads more than me" or something, you can kind of see what they're doing from a welfare perspective but they really haven't thought this through for families who may not have more food to give.

Sounds fine to me. I'd just ask the school what their issue is with it.

Dump the quavers.

Apple and banana. Sandwich. Raw carrot, celery, radish is fine.

The challenge is to find a decent local shop to buy a bar of chocolate and packet of crisps or two and throw the lunch away.

Maybe it’s just me.

My 6yo has had sandwiches (2 slices of bread) a cheese string and a yoghurt every day this week. Yours is a lot better than that! We are not meant to send crisps, which given how fussy DD is, doesn't leave me with many options

you can kind of see what they're doing from a welfare perspective but they really haven't thought this through for families who may not have more food to give

Surely that's exactly the sort of thing they should be looking for, so they can encourage that family to apply for free school meals or in some other way support them?

I have to say my initial reaction was that's a tiny lunch - my 14 month old eats more - but if that's what your DD wants and is satisfied with then obviously that's fine.

"darkcloudsandsunnyskies Fri 06-Sep-19 14:36:17
Dump the quavers.

Apple and banana. Sandwich. Raw carrot, celery, radish is fine.

The challenge is to find a decent local shop to buy a bar of chocolate and packet of crisps or two and throw the lunch away.

Maybe it’s just me."

Discovered my 14 year old was buying a plain baguette from Sainsbury's local and pocketing her dinner money not so long ago. Shows initiative I suppose?...

@Bluntness100 she moved because the majority of her friends started taking packed lunch and she’s been asking since last year so this tear I’ve let her.

I could Swap out the crisps but the stubborn part of me thinks “Why should I?”. I know she doesn’t eat them every day, I know sh has other healthy foods and I really believe in teaching kids that no food is bad but that moderation is key. She likes them and I don’t think it hurts to have them as part of a balanced diet.

It’s a very small school (not in Scotland) so I think they’ve maybe got a closer eye on this type of thing than in larger schools.

I’m not aware of a ban on crisps and chocolate bars but maybe there is?...

I’ll ask, but the more I think about this lunch in context of what I know she eats overall and her overall health then I’m feeling okay with it (I will still check with dd).
Definitely interested to find out whether it was generic or specific to me. I guess I’ll know half an hour.

Better to give a full sandwich than crisps!

Stick a boiled egg and a chunk of cheese and an apple in if she won't eat another slice of bread OP. I'm surprised, because usually I'm quite shocked at the HUGE (it's always huge) amount of food mumsnetter's say their kids put away, but I'm surprised at how little the kids are eating on this thread. Presuming breakfast is approx 7.30 and the kids get home about 3.30 that's a very small amount of food for a growing child to have in an 8 hour period.

@darkcloudsandsunnyskies if I packed celery and radish she’d throw it at my head on her return from school. She hates the stuff...we both hate the stuff

Of course you can have a sandwich with one slice of bread. Just butter the bead, cut it in half, put the ham or cheese (or whatever the filling is) onto one half and then put the other half of the bread on top of that!!