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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 10 is too old for a doll?

199 replies

AtSea1979 · 05/09/2019 21:46

DD has gone in to Y6. She’s 10. She wants a doll for Xmas and is still very much in to pink plastic things. I thought she would have grown out of this by now. AIBU to be concerned that she’s heading for high school next year and acts too young?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 05/09/2019 22:08

I’ve said no to crop tops, make up, earrings, Harry Potter films etc

Harry Potter films is the odd one out there. Why can't she see them?

What is she allowed? If she's not allowed dolls or Harry Potter, or make up and crop tops at the other end of the scale, what is she allowed?

Pikapikachooo · 05/09/2019 22:09

My child has just started secondary and still plays with some Soft toys ! Such a sad post OP let her be a child

CGTER567 · 05/09/2019 22:10

Of course not.
Would you rather she was into boys and clothes? Because that's coming next, and probably pretty soon once she leaves primary. Let her be a child for as long as you can.

Breathlessness · 05/09/2019 22:10

The first three films are PG.

Dollymixture22 · 05/09/2019 22:10

My friends 11 year old daughter asked for a doll last Christmas. Her dad bought her two😂

They get put away when her friends form school come round, but she likes to play with them occasionally (it’s becoming less frequent).

She’s very intelligent and puts a lot of academic pressure on herself. This is a nice way for her to still enjoy her childhood.

BarbariansMum · 05/09/2019 22:10

My friends dd was still into cuddly toys and my little pony when she moved up to secondary. She was not alone but knew enough to quietly find like minded friends without drawing the attention of those who had moved on to boys, bands and make up.

Now at 15 it's quite hard to tell the 2 groups apart.

Urskeks · 05/09/2019 22:10

I worried the other week when my eight year old wanted a new doll. Despite knowing in my head that dolls are fine for children for a long time, to the point that many people (only spoken to women who do this but I know it's not just women) make their own and decorate and dress them with handmade things - think of those men in that recent news story where some posh drunk vandals smashed lifetime's worth of delicate work on model railways.

Yes, I remember in year seven there was a girl who was found to be quite childish who still played with dolls. But each to their own.

My concern for my daughter was based out of now knowing if her peers play with them. Too many kids are playing with other things which make dolls look very juvenile. But I've embraced it and let out my childish streak and she now has a baby doll car booster seat, a dolls travel cot, I will surprise her with a dolls highchair soon, and she's got a dolls pram arriving for Xmas. This damn doll has made her so happy. I've crocheted a sleeping bag with hood for it and have nearly finished crocheting a very badly made baby carrier. I also thought I might see a few clothing items for it because it's wearing those generic awful twee pink things the manufacturers put on them.

Really, don't worry. Just make sure she has a mix of toys. Sometimes it's healthy to have something to regress to as well, when we have had a bad day.

TheNoodlesIncident · 05/09/2019 22:12

No wonder there is so much pressure on children to grow up at times if some parents think like this

Isn't it possible OP doesn't want her dc to grow up too soon but is worried about other children's reactions if they find out? Which is a reflection on other people's parenting, as they don't seem to bother trying to instil an "each to their own and live and let live" policy into their kids' upbringing. I know a few children who have been scorned by their peers for liking childish stuff. It happens.

I wanted a Snoopy when I was 10. My older cousin had one, with his own Woodstock, and I was desperate for my own. I was told I was too old for toys like that, so didn't get one for birthday or Christmas. I saved up for one myself, polishing shoes to get a 10p towards it. I didn't get any pocket money so it did take a while (and lots of shoes).

I've still got him, minus some fur and and one eye which fell off soon after I got him (I darned in a replacement eye with black yarn, bit wonky looking but better than nothing). I would buy a doll for a 10 year old, definitely.

Dljlr · 05/09/2019 22:12

I was refused an Aerial doll for my 12th birthday on the basis I was too old for such things. I bought one to celebrate my first house purchase many years later Grin and still brush her hair in front of the TV now I'm 35

YABU op. Get her what she's asked for.

Elodie2019 · 05/09/2019 22:13

I was also thinking along the lines of cost and how long it would last.

Let me reassure you. The doll I was holding at 11 and was bought around the age of 10 is still in my possession. I also remember very clearly how happy it made me when it was bought for me.

BarbariansMum · 05/09/2019 22:13

And YY to some parents pushing their children through childhood.

"Oh yes not interested in toys anymore, just the Xbox". Said proudly about a 7 year old as though it was some kind of achievement.

mmmcflurrys · 05/09/2019 22:14

Why on earth would OP be a troll for asking such a simple question?

I played with dolls till I was about 11. As soon as I got to secondary school I changed instantly But still wanted my dolls under the bed just in case I wanted to play with them!

BigFluffyCatWhiskers · 05/09/2019 22:14

If she wants a doll get her a doll.

Speaking personally I absolutely hated dolls after being about 8. I remember being given a doll's pram for I think my 9th or 10th birthday and being so upset. I remember unwrapping it and being both confused and disappointed.

I never played with it and couldn't understand why I'd been given it. I wanted a record player or a tape recorder. Although it's fair to say that my DP weren't the best at buying presents as the following year I got a garden golf set! My DM still cannot explain what possessed her to buy either items and I'm in my 50s.

Aprillygirl · 05/09/2019 22:15

Girls change so fast at around this age OP. You may well find come Christmas she's forgotten all about the doll and is begging for make up and the latest smart phone and that's when your problems really will begin.

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 05/09/2019 22:15

Bluntness she already has a doll, she just wants another one. She also has more soft toys than a toy shop. She also has a considerable amount of plastic tat!
Sorry I wasn’t clear on the Harry Potter thing. It came to mind as only yesterday she asked how old she had to be until she could watch the 12 ones. She’s seen the first three, that’s all. I told her not yet.

OP posts:
Elodie2019 · 05/09/2019 22:16

One more thing... My DD and her friends (6th form) spend far too long in the Disney store even now! They might not buy but they go in to look!

Huncamuncaa · 05/09/2019 22:16

Children should still be playing at 10. It's how they learn, de-stress, make sense of the world. It's the best thing they could be doing for their mental health.

10 year olds are perfectly capable of reading a situation and knowing when to leave their dolls at home. Be grateful she still feels she can be herself at home.

Littlebluebird123 · 05/09/2019 22:16

My ten year old was given money for her birthday. And bought a 'twin girl' to go with her boy baby (which she got for Christmas) as they'd look cute in the double buggy she also got for Christmas. And then she bought a 'chubby baby' doll as it looked 'so cute' too.
I know what you mean when you wonder about is it worth it. But my dd plays with her dolls all the time. Many of her friends are into other things and she does have other interests. But she loves her dolls.
And on a side note, my girls weren't happy watching Harry Potter, too many scary bits. One had nightmares for a while. You know your kids.

gilliansgardenbench · 05/09/2019 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gilliansgardenbench · 05/09/2019 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CassianAndor · 05/09/2019 22:22

Keto care to explain why 10 is too old for any girl alive to have a doll? Obviously it’s not just because you didn’t want a doll when you were 11...

SirVixofVixHall · 05/09/2019 22:23

I played with dolls until I was about 13, i loved them. I hit puberty very late which may have been a factor, but a couple of dds friends still played with dolls at that age. My dds were never very interested in dolls, I think because when they were younger they didn’t know any slightly older girls with dolls , so they didn’t do any communal play, very different from my childhood where we all coveted each other’s Sindy bathroom set or bed.
I don’t believe in being “too old” for anything. It is play, if you enjoy it, then why should anyone else mind ?

bwydda · 05/09/2019 22:23

Yabu. Children should be children. My dd is 11 and loves dolls. She knows not to tell her more "grown up" friends. She plays with them happily with her less more childlike friends.

Just an observation. Those friends who are more "grown up" - sadly they have less fun. They are self conscious, and insecure- obsessed and attached to devices, obsessed with image and social standing- refusing to go out without their phone, getting upset because they haven't got the right shoes, and drama drama drama.

I KNOW dd will go through that. But I'd rather the stage of self absorption and teenage insecurity last as little, not as long, as possible.

Daffodil101 · 05/09/2019 22:25

I got a doll for my 10th birthday and I played with Sindy until I was 12. We had a childhood back then.

My two girls played with dolls until 12, I encouraged it. I’m a developmentalist though, so I know the value of imaginative play.

bonbonours · 05/09/2019 22:26

My daughter just turned 13 and requested Lalaloopsy dolls for her birthday. She already has loads and loves them. She also still sleeps with her baby doll from when she was little. At school by teachers and peers she is considered mature for her age (she also spends half her life on WhatsApp and YouTube like most teens) I'm a fan of allowing children to choose what they want to play with not telling them what they should or should not play with.