Aibu to cancel charity direct debit?

[Almostalive]

I have sponsored a child through Plan International for over a year. We have written to each other and I have sent a birthday card at extra expense. A few days ago I received a letter informing me that the (auditors have been in) child in question has 2 sponsor's and I have been allocated a different child. Wtf? I am so annoyed. Should I cancel the cheque? (Direct debit).

I love the fact that the children are living in the community (where possible - obviously some are in war torn countries) and are educated and housed, fed and have doctors - and helped by learning a trade and given money when they reach a certain age - so some set up a business or get a home. There seems to be a lot of good will for this charity and they don’t focus on faith or race.

Little kid has empty lunchbox at school every day and the teachers call his mum. She knows she packs it with food so follows him when he leaves for school the next day. Of course he is feeding his little school friend and Mum ends up bawling

@LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD I'm not even kidding, I'm welling up a bit just reading that! I'm a mess since having kids lol

I used to sponsor a child through PLAN I did it for 6 years and then a change of circumstance meant I couldn't afford it and cancelled. A year later a fund raiser contacted me and asked me to start again.

I told him that I had every intention of starting again when my circumstances changed but at the moment I couldn't afford it.

He then tried to guilt me into starting again, and I repeated that I would in the future but that at the moment I really couldn't afford it. He kept on again trying to make me feel guilty.

I then said 'I don't like being bullied, I've told you I can't afford it'. He still kept on. I then told him that I had changed my mind. 'Brilliant', he said. I said 'NO, I have changed my mind about ever donating to this charity again. I don't appreciate being made to feel guilty, I don't appreciate being bullied. I've told you no and you are being a nuisance. I want my name removing from your database and I don't want you to ever call me again. I hung up just as he was saying 'But'. They haven't contacted me by phone again but I still get their crap in the post.
I now 'donate' through KIVA - making microloans to people in various countries throughout the world. As the money gets paid back I reloan it and add more each month.

For clarity: Not once did I think I 'owned' this child.
I was well aware that all monies are pooled to help everyone. I honestly just wanted to help!!
I am upset that I have so readily been sent a replacement child.
My children have seen this picture and letters etc every day for over a year. I was actually trying to teach them the importance of helping others and how good they have it. Just feel disillusioned by the whole thing now.

I'm sure you mean well but you're going over the top with this bit now:

Just feel disillusioned by the whole thing now.

Why feel so disillusioned by it? The objective is still the same. The lesson you're teaching your children remains unchanged. Whilst you might claim that you didn't feel you owned the child - it certainly sounds like you did.

Can you tell us why you feel so aggrieved? And use of language such as "replacement child" doesn't really help your argument.

I just cannot understand this mindset at all. If the point is to provide some kind of entertainment for your kids in the form of letters to/from this poor child whilst simultaneously allowing you to give yourself a big pat on the back for being such an amazing human then I can see why the change of child might upset you, since it has ruined your kids' fun. But if the point is genuinely to help a child in need and to teach your children the importance of charity then I absolutely cannot understand what the problem is. If you are upset that you won't be in communication with the child anymore, then can't you ask the charity if it's possible for you to keep in touch with him as well as the "new" child? Aren't you just glad that your money is going to be helping a child who needs it? Aren't you looking forward to helping another child and pleased that the original child also has sponsorship?

As for the charity requiring the children to accept visits from their sponsors, just wow. That is beyond exploitative. These children should not have to submit to being paraded for the wealthy and privileged so that they can virtue signal on Instagram or boast to their mates in order to receive help.

I've co sponsored a child for about 12 years now. Ex colleague asked if I would join him and his family add a child to their sponsor list. I already did wheelchairs, tractors and wells for Africa with him so said yes.

To date we have, betwenn us all, visited 3 schools, a farm run by kids and a college in the UK that rebuilds old tractors and another that makes the parts of wells.

2 years ago the child we sponsored came over here, to start her degree. We have met up with her over sumer holidays, house dher, taken her round the UK and made sure she has been fully supported whilst she is here.

None of it has been exploitative. We have gone over to visit, help with a specific project, take bundles of goods for the wider community, not just the child we sponsored. I am no white saviour, I am fully engaged in a wide variety of charitable efforts. Hell, we even started one, way back in the 80s - for the volunteers in Romanian orphanages. Would you call the RCM white saviours?

Sorry, side tracked myself there...

I do sometimes despair at the edutainment of some charitable stuff. Like the Pen Pals when I was a kid. Seemed alright then suddenly you were invited to write to a kid 'less well off than you', looking back at it we were encouraged to see them as 'pets' iyskim. We were doing a good thing, we should be proud of ourselves!

If you are doing this through a charity then you are donating to their charitable purposes. It's up to them how they use your donation to further those purposes but they have to do so in accordance with charity law.

You can't insist that they only use it for one particular child, I'm afraid. If you did, they wouldn't be able to accept it.