Aibu to cancel charity direct debit?

[Almostalive]

I have sponsored a child through Plan International for over a year. We have written to each other and I have sent a birthday card at extra expense. A few days ago I received a letter informing me that the (auditors have been in) child in question has 2 sponsor's and I have been allocated a different child. Wtf? I am so annoyed. Should I cancel the cheque? (Direct debit).

It all goes to a good cause though, so I’d leave it at that. I don’t know them (am aware of them) but assume they do good work.

I get you op. I have a sponsor child . Have for over 8 years. I feel a commitment to continue until the child has grown . The child is same age as my Ds.

I know my Ds misinterpretaed a letter and thought child has changed and he was upset

Magenta82 - they aren’t all like that. We sponsor via SOS and it’s not like that at all.

You were giving to help a child less fortunate than yourself, not to give you and your kid a bit of a thrill.

This is why sponsoring children is a terrible concept. You have slightly strange expectations, OP. Why not just give to a developing world charity?

It’s not a terrible concept. www.soschildrensvillages.org.uk/ Which of the large charities do you trust these days?

Oh my god the visit thing

That would be reason from me to cancel. There are millions of more responsible organisations out there.

Yes it's a creepy practice. You really think it's okay for a kid to be pressured into sending photos and letters to a stranger, in exchange for money?

There are loads of charities doing responsible work.

Yes, cancel.

Really not sure the visiting a child in exchange for money thing is a good idea. I would cancel for that reason personally.

I get that it feels sad to lose the connection, but this isn't about you it's about the community the child
lives in. Twice I have had letter saying X has left the programme one time he didn't want to attend the activities anymore another the family moved away. But the money I send goes to the village, it's necessary to look at the wider picture. I do get it as I had been allocated a child the same age as mine and that link has gone but it's not about me or my child. In an annoying MN phrase 'big girl pants' on

I sponsor two children and write to them often. I'd be gutted if this were to happen, but my DM and Sister also sponsor and my DM was told because of issues in Pakistan she had to suspend helping. Mine are in Brazil and Haiti. I think I'd be happy with another child - it's a new relationship to build but only you know how you feel.

There are countries where some children just fall through the cracks because there is no local services or government who will take care of them. Where will they end up? Think of the wider community that this child will grow up in.

Mine are though Compassion, a Christian charity. You can visit, yes, but it's not creepy. Wtf is wrong with people?!

What do you fear the impact would be on your child?

For the record, didn't know you could do this!
I'm torn.
On the one hand I can see why you're feeling disappointed as you feel you've got to "know" the child. Kind of like a pen pal?
On the other hand, if I was you I'd be putting a positive spin on it, and thinking that you'd be helping a child in need even if it was a different one, it's still children who need help.

I get how you’re feeling op. My parents have sponsored a child for around 6 years now. On top of the normal donations they’ve paid for him to go to school, they write to each other regularly and my parents send him presents all of the time. I don’t know why people are turning this sinister. And I can see how it would be upsetting helping and getting to know and exchanging letters with one child, and then being told you couldn’t sponsor them anymore and your money was being given to someone else

Could you and your kids not just look forward to getting to know a different child? Let them understand that there are lots of people who need help and you're just helping someone new. I think it would be unfair to withdraw funding otherwise it would seem that you weren't interested in helping the cause but just that individual child

I've sponsored children through Plan International since the late 90s and sometimes they do change. One of 'my' children became an orphan after a couple of years and went away to live with family elsewhere. I was 'given' another child. Her parents took the family out of the PI project a few years later and so on. I'm on my sixth or seventh child now. I want to bang my head against a wall at the idea of someone refusing to donate to such a good charity because of an admin error. You have to be bigger than this, OP.

We don’t get personal letters from the child - a local charity worker writes to give some info about what’s happening in the region and the charity homes, and a little bit about the child (if they are at school, how they are health wise, what they enjoy doing) and something about the politics (the child we sponsor is in a war zone). This is once a year and we get a Christmas card from the charity.

I can’t believe you can visit the child. That seems a little strange.

I guess there’s an organised trip where a group of sponsors (and their families) visit a school, community etc en masse, with the supervisor, and get a tour around the school, village etc, rather than alone-on -one visit.

Visiting the child? As if one would visit a sponsored panda or whatever?

What is this world coming to. I don't deny that a friendship/bond of sorts can develop through letter writing/drawing pictures or whatever. But parading a child infront of their sponsor is rather sinister in my view.

Aw crap. I just saw a video on twitter ‘directed by women’ called ‘empty lunchbox’.

Little kid has empty lunchbox at school every day and the teachers call his mum. She knows she packs it with food so follows him when he leaves for school the next day. Of course he is feeding his little school friend and Mum ends up bawling. Then I started snivelling. It was an SOS promo from Germany (they work all over the globe).

They do good work.

My parents used to sponsor children through this charity. The children changed several times.

That they let you visit the child makes me extremely uncomfortable. I didn't know they allowed that.

I sponsor through SOS children's villages and right from the start they said that, because you choose your monthly amount, there may be more than one sponsor, sponsoring the same child. But in reality the money goes into one big pot and benefits all the children that live in that particular group home.

I especially liked SOS when I was looking for a charity to support because they clearly stated that no child would be expected to send pictures, letters etc, unless they particularly wanted to, they are just normal children getting on with a normal childhood and don't really have any concept of a rich (in their terms) westerner sending money to support them, nor should they.

You can visit the village if you want to but why would you want to? The cost of airfares etc could run the place for months and the visit wouldn't mean anything at all to the child.
I get a twice yearly report and a photo and card at Christmas and its nice to see him growing from a little four year old to a young man, but I don't kid myself that I have any sort of relationship with him or that he feels like he has any connection with me.