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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

CF childminder

97 replies

Poetryinaction · 05/09/2019 07:31

I can only find one person who will collect my ds from preschool. She looks after ds after preschool and his younger sister full time.
It's term time only as I am a teacher.
She keeps asking for paid holidays in term time, which is odd as she has school aged children. I guess she takes them away and pays any fine with the money we pay her. It's tricky as then I have no childcare. She often lets us doen when her kids are ill too.
She has recently asked us to pay for meals on top of her hourly rate.
Now she has told me she can't give my dc dinner one day a week as her dd has a swimming lesson.
I am annoyed as I thought she was paid to look after my dc, therefore not available for swimming lessons?
I have looked at alternative childcare but feel stuck now as my ds love preschool and it feeds into his school so I really need someone for that pick up.
I don't suppose I am looking for solutions, just to see if people agree she is a CF??

OP posts:

Iggly · 05/09/2019 07:53

I wouldn’t worry about the preschool feed unless it’s impacting on their place at school? Children at that age will make new friends easily.

I would ditch her and explain why. The lack of consistency would stress me out.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 05/09/2019 07:54

We've had a great experience using a childminder, by the way, and I'm so glad that we ditched the nursery place we booked for DS for the childminder - it was 100% the right decision for us all. BUT even though she does some of the things you list (her holidays are paid, lunch is included but dinner is an extra charge) she communicates really well, and it sounds like that's the real issue with your childminder, she's not communicating well enough for you to plan things like holidays - or she's just not the right person for you.

Bonkerz · 05/09/2019 07:55

If she is a registered childminder then she is self employed and makes her own terms of contract. If you agree to that then you are bound by it I'm afraid.
I'm a childminder. I take 8 weeks a year off work and give 8 weeks notice of any leave required but I don't charge if I am closed.
I sometimes do things with my own children while working but always ensure the childminder children are cared for whilst doing my other duties. (If my own child was swimming I'd take puzzled and books and colouring for minded child) that's what I became a childminder so I could be around for my own children.
I charge extra for meals but this is agreed before the children start.

Biggie123 · 05/09/2019 07:55

@flumpbear

Of course, there can be childminders who are not brilliant and therefore a nursery is preferable.
There are also lots of advantages to a good childminders over a nursery.
I’d choose a childminder every time!

Fluffytheevil1 · 05/09/2019 07:55

I paid my childminder 75% on her holidays and 100% on mine but she only took holidays in the 6 weeks.

Meals should be included unless you’re paying a super low rate, Or at least a snack depending on what time you pick the children up.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 05/09/2019 07:57

The swimming thing - is her child's lesson during the time your child is there? Or is it just straight after, and that's why she won't do dinner that night? I actually really like that DS does normal things like the supermarket shop with his childminder, but I wouldn't be thrilled about him sitting there watching another child swim for an hour.

duffyluth · 05/09/2019 07:59

While I agree that she can do all of these things because she is self employed, she is also being an absolute dick by changing so many goalposts.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 05/09/2019 08:00

While I agree that she can do all of these things because she is self employed, she is also being an absolute dick by changing so many goalposts.

I agree with this. Most of these things are fine in and of themselves, but none of them should have come as surprises to you some time into the contract.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 05/09/2019 08:01

Thank you everyone. I will look into a nanny but I'd need them to accept the funded hours and childcare vouchers or it's not financially viable unfortunately.

OP posts:

Poochandmutt · 05/09/2019 08:02

All this would make me think she was the type to stick the kids in front of the tv.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 05/09/2019 08:03

She does have the tv on constantly.

OP posts:

Fatted · 05/09/2019 08:04

Get another childminder! Or alternative child care.

I've used 3 CM. Two have been fantastic. Completely reliable, no nonsense. Plenty of notice with holidays, never in term time etc. One was absolutely useless. Funnily enough, she was the one who had her own similar aged children. The other ones were older and had adult children. Personally, I wouldn't use one who had their own children they had to look after as well. My current CM looks after her grandchildren. But there is absolutely no favouritism with her.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 05/09/2019 08:04

I just don't think there is a better alternative unfortunately.

OP posts:

LisaSimpsonsbff · 05/09/2019 08:04

If you actually think the care is substandard then I think it's a bit weird that your main concern is holidays and a few extra quid for meals? If you think she's just sticking your child (who she has full time?) in front of a TV then you should move them but not for your own convenience and pocket!

LucieLucie · 05/09/2019 08:09

Pp can't tar all cms with the same brush!

Yes, this one sounds cheeky, I think she's forgotten that she's getting paid for providing a service to you and relies on a good reputation.

Is she struggling financially? Do you pay for the spaces during all the school holidays ?

I'd imagine tea time is stressful with feeding her own kids plus other people's.

There can be a lot of fussiness and mess and food waste. Ultimately she's probably doing the cming to benefit her own kids so I don't see what's wrong in letting you know she can't provide tea for your kids one day a week so she can take hers swimming.

Cm kids sacrifice a lot so others can take over their homes and toys.

I think you're past the point of feeling good about her so you need to move your kids on.

I don't agree with Childminders charging fo be closed while they take holidays though...that's totally not on and is very greedy and unprofessional.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 05/09/2019 08:10

I have nowhere to move them that won't cost me an extra few thousand pounds a year. She does play with them and take them out, and despite the tv being on in the background I still prefer a childminder to a nursery setting personally. I have worked in various nurseries so I am well informed. I would prefer the tv to be off but my main concern is her cf attitude.

OP posts:

rookiemere · 05/09/2019 08:14

Doesn't sound ideal - as alternatives are thin on the ground how long would your DC need to keep going there ?

Atalune · 05/09/2019 08:21

The hourly rate a CM can claim back from the gov isn’t great and so many childcare providers ask for meals or snacks to be paid. This is quite standard.

You will have agreed the holidays in the contract. And some childcare providers DO offer term time only contracts but lots don’t. What did you sign?

As a teacher I am sure you can appreciate that if you didn’t receive monies pro rata for your role you’d be up the creek. Same in a way for a CM.

Our CM closed for 2 weeks in the summer and around a week over Christmas. This was unpaid. If we took holidays we paid 50% if they fell
Out of these set times. It was all agreed upfront.

I think you want a nanny..,,but it would be expensive for you.

Look for a term time only CM, they do exist!

BlueRussiann · 05/09/2019 08:21

@Poetryinaction Do you pay a retainer during the school holidays?

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 05/09/2019 08:22

That's my thinking rookie. The older one has until Sept 2020, and is only there 3.30-5, 3 days a week.
The younger one can start at preschool in Sept 2020 so will only need after school care then. For this school year it's 8-5, 3 days a week, which is not great, but she is very happy there, which is the main thing.

OP posts:

Atalune · 05/09/2019 08:22

tv on in the background?! that’s TERRIBLE.

Full disclosure, I am an early years advisor. This is not a good CM. early communication development is really significantly hindered by background noise. Bad bad bad.

ColaFreezePop · 05/09/2019 08:23

She keeps asking for paid holidays in term time, which is odd as she has school aged children.
Schools have inset days and children can have hospital appointments which are at awkward times

My childminder does not have school age children herself but does take the odd day off for various reason in term time. I get warned months in advance that she is taking any days off or holiday.

Child minders have the choice of having you pay them for a certain number of their holidays, or they can increase their hourly rate. If you keep the same childminder for a year it should work out the same amount.

I guess she takes them away and pays any fine with the money we pay her. It's tricky as then I have no childcare.
Childminders don't earn loads hence charging extra for meals.

She often lets us doen when her kids are ill too.
Have you talked to her to find out if one of her children has a particular condition which means they are more prone to illness and needs lots of medical appointments?

She has recently asked us to pay for meals on top of her hourly rate.
Mine includes meals in her rate because my child is too young to get free hours. If my child got free hours then she would charge me for all meals plus any other extras. This is because the amount she gets for free hours is less than what she charges hourly.

If she was doing after school from 3.30 -5/6 then she would charge a different rate to include the meals.

Now she has told me she can't give my dc dinner one day a week as her dd has a swimming lesson.
I am annoyed as I thought she was paid to look after my dc, therefore not available for swimming lessons?
Your child will be with the other parents and children in the large reception area/cafe they have at most leisure centres/gyms. They are actually large enough for children to play games there, have table and chairs, and some have designated play areas. Odd that she can't prepare a packed lunch of some sort to take with them and then warn you this is what they will have.

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 05/09/2019 08:25

This one is term time only, but takes paid holiday in term time too.
But she accepts the funding and childcare vouchers, crucially collects from preschool, and even looks after the dc an extra day a fortnight (paid of course, but without making me pay to hold the place).
So although she is a cf, financially it would make a massive difference to go elsewhere.

OP posts:

OtraCosaMariposa · 05/09/2019 08:26

This is why we never used a childminder.

I'm self-employed and know the pitfalls which generally come from being self employed - no sick pay, no pension, no holiday pay etc. Childminders have decided as a group they want all that flexibility of being self-employed but that actually they want the rest of it too. So as a group they set up these ridiculous contracts specifying that parents pay when they are on holiday and so on. And because they all sign up to the same little club and all use the same contracts, they have parents over a barrel.

If you are paying her to look after your child, she shouldn't be taking your child with her child to swimming lessons. Especially if that means she can't feed him!

Original poster

Poetryinaction · 05/09/2019 08:28

Thanks for all the replies.
I will keep looking for alternatives but I can't work without her in the meantime.

OP posts:

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