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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did I commit a dating sin? Moving too fast?

67 replies

MyLucifrr · 04/09/2019 20:29

Started speaking to someone online and over the phone. He mentioned that he’d bought a weekend away for his sister and partner but they’d broke up and so he’d like to take me and said he was thinking of this date to go.

We met up and it was good, he even mentioned about us going on another weekend away.

Now last I’ve text him and mentioned the weekend and he’s said today that I’m moving too fast and he can’t believe I want to spend an entire weekend with him,

Confused

If he had never mentioned the already paid for weekend I would never have asked anything about going away

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/09/2019 20:30

Run for your life. Block and move on.

WhatsMyPassword · 04/09/2019 20:31

Have you actually met him, to want to be going away, for a weekend with him ?
Hmm

diddlesticks · 04/09/2019 20:32

You went on a weekend together and he mentioned maybe doing it again? Is that right? Then got funny when you mentioned it?

That's really odd behaviour I'd finish things.

MissConductUS · 04/09/2019 20:35

Have you gone away for a weekend with him yet or not? It's not really clear from your post.

NeighbourPooNameChange · 04/09/2019 20:36

Dump and block and don’t look back. Trust me

MyLucifrr · 04/09/2019 20:37

Oh no sorry if I’ve confused things -

Spoke on phone before meeting and he mentioned weekend away for us.

We met and spent the day together. He was very affectionate. Spoke about a different weekend away.

Then this week I mentioned said weekend away and he said I was moving too fast and it was weird I wanted to spend the whole weekend with him so soon.

OP posts:
MyLucifrr · 04/09/2019 20:37

Spoke on phone before meeting and he mentioned weekend away for us.

We were talking on the phone and texting for around 2 weeks before meeting.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/09/2019 20:38

Sod that. He's a mind fuck. Walk away.

relax2 · 04/09/2019 20:39

I think he's messing you round run for your life!!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 04/09/2019 20:39

You've met once... but I suspect that's not his issue. I suspect that the problem is really that either he didn't feel such a spark when you met, or that he was blustering about the weekend away and didn't expect to be called on his bluffing so quickly.

Either way, leg it.

stucknoue · 04/09/2019 20:40

I've got cold feet twice because guys wanted to go away! Perhaps they are not comfortable with the expectations a weekend away means

Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav · 04/09/2019 20:41

Did you say you'd only mentioned it because he was the first to suggest it???

MissConductUS · 04/09/2019 20:41

I think he either isn't that interested in you or he's seeing someone else or he made up that whole bit about having bought the weekend away for his sister.

All three explanations are bad news. Probably best to move on.

zxcvhjkl · 04/09/2019 20:43

The red warning flags are there. It's OK for him to talk about weekends away but not you? It's OK for him to want to make plans but not you? You reciprocate feelings and he says it's too fast. Honestly you need to walk away before you become more emotionally invested. He has real potential to mess with your head if he hasn't already.

I ignored these warning signs and it didn't end well.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/09/2019 20:43

Wanting to go away with someone a couple of weeks after making contact is weird. He is a complete twat. At least you’ve found out now.

cacklingmags · 04/09/2019 21:03

WTF. He has no manners at the very least and is a mind fucker at the worst. Walk away with your head held high and block the little bastard.

dudsville · 04/09/2019 21:05

He's giving mixed messages and then blaming you.

dudsville · 04/09/2019 21:06

(accidentally hit send!) The fact that you question yourself means you have to be careful. If this is a trap you tend to fall in then you're vulnerable.

Watchingthyme · 04/09/2019 21:08

LEAVE NOW

Tink88 · 04/09/2019 21:11

Block block block block

JollyAndBright · 04/09/2019 21:11

It sounds like he is gaslighting you.

It’s a huge red flag, cut and run.

TowerRavenSeven · 04/09/2019 21:12

Run don’t walk! I dated someone like this that constantly talked about us getting married, wanted to look for rings, etc. The minute I said anything about it he turned it all on me that I was getting too serious, bugging him to get married. Yet for my birthday he said my present was late because he was getting it engraved. Turned out to be a ‘inscribed’ Bible. I really think he was a psychopath, so glad I had gotten rid of him!

GeekyGirl1982 · 04/09/2019 21:15

Agree, it's a red flag. At the very least I'd bear in mind there's been one if you decide to carry on seeing him. But probably best to run. Next!

dollydaydream114 · 04/09/2019 21:18

He's either completely mad, or he's a liar, or he's deliberately messing with your head. Either way, absolutely do not see him again.

MyLucifrr · 04/09/2019 21:19

Don’t worry I’m not invested in him and if anything I’m maybe not ready to date yet Smile

Just annoyed me because it kind of felt like I was being given the “she’s a psychopath” label ... when all I did was mention what he’d already said.

Also around 10 mins after we met I had my head down looking on on my phone (booking us an Uber) and he leaned down and under and kissed me .... which I thought was kind of quick and he’d done it without my consent.

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