To bleach my mouth?

[AnnonniMoose]

I took a sip of my lovely hot coffee. Felt a lump under my lip - on the inside of my lip! Realised it was the fucking bluebottle that had been buzzing around the room . It had settled on the rim of my cup and I hadn't noticed. Spat the mouthful of coffee all over my keyboard and desk and I've been furiously wiping my lip with a towel.

I had a fucking bluebottle touch the inside of my lip! AIBU to want to bleach my mouth, my face, my whole body and the whole bloody house?

May I suggest some kind of fire torch??

Listerine will do, you kniw, if you want to avoid chemical burns

This'll make you feel better: we had a mouse problem in our old flat. I was making jam one day and ate a bit of the jam that had fallen on to the counter. When I bit down I realised it was a mouse dropping.

I ate mouse poo.

Yuk , these things happen .

I made a lovely soup for us one day. Ladled it out into bowls, plate of nice bread.

DH bites into something crunchy in his soup. Is it a bit of onion that didn't get blitzed properly? No. It was a woodlouse. Apparently it was in the ladle and got added as a creepy crawly crouton.

I ate mouse poo. 😷😷😝

I inhaled a fly yesterday. Up my nose. Had to remove it too.

I feel your pain.

My friend took a drink of water in the night from the glass next to her bed.

Felt something in her mouth and spat it out.

Turned the light out to see a dead spider floating in the her

Surgically remove your lip OP. It's the only option.

Sorry op. RIP.

As long as both wings were inside the coffee then all is good. I read somewhere that one wing is the germ and the other is a bit like a disinfectant for it... Something along those lines anyway.

My only consolation is that the fly is now a mere smudge on a rolled up piece of paper.

@Uniformuniformuniform and @Pinkyyy - 😂😂😂

I bit into a really tiny maggot inside an apple once.

I don't like apples any more

I nearly swallowed a beetle whilst taking my painkillers last week. It was quite big too.

I'm not joking! They are doing research into antibiotics via wings of flies!

www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2002/10/01/689400.htm

Something with alcohol. Vodka, Gin, Rum etc. For the medicinal and cleansing purposes obvs.

@CandyLeBonBon - Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Decomposed slug juice on lip checking in here

aaargh grrossss

I HATE bluebottles but greenbottles are even worse. Slow, lazy, shit eating filth bearing bastards.

If I accidentally ate one I think I'd lose my mind. I think the worse thing I've ever accidentally consumed was contact lens fluid, although my elderly mother once took a big swig of white spirit. Why she had that on her bedside table I'll never know.

@Uniformuniformuniform - wow

BuzzShitbagBobbly thank you, you've reminded me - my dog once sadly caught a frog and didn't kill it, but badly injured it. I decided, reluctantly, to do the humane thing and despatch it with a sharp crack to it's froggy bonce with a trowel. As I did the deed, a big blob of something hit me in the mouth.

🤮

I inhaled an earwig that was in my asthma inhaler. I felt something hit my windpipe and coughed violently; it flew out, hit the floor and crawled away.