To think that people don't budget carefully enough these days?

[daffodilrosedaisy]

I've come across several people recently who are living hand to mouth, and struggling to afford things... BUT spend out on what I would consider unnecessary luxuries. Examples:

• Struggling to pay rent for a large family each month, ended up in huge debt to their landowners and got kicked out... but have newest iPhones, iPads for all the kids, big TV etc.

• Unable to pay for boiler and car to be fixed at the same time in winter, so had to take out a big loan to buy new ones of both, but go on two week holidays abroad, and again own high-end electronics.

I'm not referring to people that are never able to save, because their living costs equate to what they earn. I mean people who seem to get their priorities wrong and spend lots on 'luxuries' but don't budget for the basics like rent, and having a contingency fund for when things go wrong (broken boiler/car etc.).

AIBU in thinking this is ridiculous? Especially when people have families to care for?

Agree
We normalise and feel entitled to have certain items and luxuries which we don’t need
And the amazon burns 🥵

@CTRL You were being rude. Essentially laughing at the fact I lost £150.00. Rude, not just your opinion.

Totally agree. Two family members who are 'forever poor'. Into arrears on rent/ridiculous credit cards. Both smoke 20+ a day. If I could afford £10 a day on a luxury like cigarettes I'd consider myself rich!

I was in charge of bills in my last house share – I had one housemate who would never pay me on time (about £20 a month) yet would go on nights out and order takeaways after he’d told me he couldn’t pay! To be fair, it can be miserable to live without spending on little luxuries that you don’t need now and then, but it was annoying for me.

I know I’ll get crucified for this but I totally agree with OP and what reeeally annoys me are those people who tell me how ‘lucky’ I am to be a SAHM when they ‘wish they could afford to not have to go back to work’ and then go on holiday every year, have a new-build 4-bed house, drive a fancy car with a personalised reg etc etc. My husband and I can afford to live on one income as we live in a 2-bed terraced house, have an ancient car, buy all our food from Aldi or Lidl and haven’t been on holiday since our honeymoon. Now that’s our choice and other people choose differently (and some people genuinely don’t have a choice, that’s different) but it just really bugs me when people with a much higher household income make out I’m ‘lucky’ to not have to go back to work when actually it’s just down to budgeting and making choices about our priorities.
(As I said, it is obviously different for people who genuinely can’t afford to live on one income, regardless of how they budgeted/prioritised)

@Kazzyhoward - exactly ! My friend fully expected me to dip into my wedding saving fund as she 'needed' to buy her bf a birthday present and tried to make me feel guilty she couldn't afford a present for him because I had money in the building society and she had none! We had gone without lots of things so we could save there was no way I was just lending her some due to her poor budgeting.

Peoples priorities are all wrong. I keep on trying to make the point that a new phone will come when I've finished paying for something for my child. Everyone takes the piss as it's not the latest model and I can't find a new case for it. But I'm managing on my money and not running up stupid debts - I''m not struggling to manage the minimal payments on my credit card like one friend with her latest iPhone.

I budgeted for a holiday this summer but couldn't afford it as I had unexpectedly high costs to pay by September - we didn't go on holiday but my debt is paid off.

A friend had the exact same bills to pay but didn't cut back on her expenses. She now wants to borrow from me and I've refused. She assumes somehow, that something will come along and save her.

CTRL
Because she actually knows that person well enough to have quite a bit of detail and insight.

It's not based solely on the phone. It's based on knowing what she earns and lots of other things about her financial choices .

I certainly think you have a point and your examples seem clear enough but I think it can be easy to misjudge people when you don’t always know what is going on in their life.

We are a low income family and money is really tight. Food is from Lidl or reduced to clear items. New clothes are only bought to replace much repaired items and charity shops are my friend for essentials. We don’t eat out, buy coffees or takeaway etc, but I have a gym membership and ds has music lessons. I’m sure people judge that as a waste of money but I have a disability that means I cant walk very far and the only exercise I can do is swimming. Access to the pool at our local baths is difficult for me and mostly for ds’s sake it Is important I stay mobile and alive.

Ds is musically gifted and it would be very unfair if he couldn’t pursue this because we don’t have much money. Neither he or I have up to date phones or tv’s.

As PPs have rightly said, no-one's suggested that anybody should dictate the priorities of others; they've simply asked that, if they get themselves into self-inflicted messes through sheer fecklessness, they don't whine or worse still expect others to bail them out

Unfortunately it doesn't always work like that …

"These days"?

It's not a new phenomenon that some people are feckless with money, I remember years ago FIL telling me when he was young and working on a building site he'd see men get paid by the foreman on pay day and literally hand most of it over to the bookies debt collectors who turned up week in week out. Nowt new.

Our attitude to debt has totally changed though. It's very common now to regularly use your overdraft and have one or more credit cards.

It's not just kids not being taught about budgeting, it's financial services and credit being shoved down our throats.

I am actually thinking about my tween daughter's ability to budget at the moment. She seems to think I'm a bottomless pit of money when it comes to clothes. It wasn't like that when I grew up, I barely had any clothes. She has even begged me for clothes and then gone off them which really annoys me. I've reached the conclusion that a clothing allowance would make her think about what she buys. If she wants something a bit more expensive than a cheap t-shirt she will have to save up for it. And she will think twice about buying something and not wearing it.

A lot of businesses offer those get now - pay later schemes for things. Not helpful at all

There was a poster last week in South Wales; single mum, low wage - trying and determined to get her foot on the housing ladder through continuous careful saving. It was very sad because her own mum kept telling her “you’ll never do it” ....so sometimes I feel people lack encouragement from family who ought to be supporting their efforts. That must be so tough.

I don’t like the assumption that just because OP saw her friend get a new phone that means she doesn’t know how to budget.

Has it ever dawned on you that other expenses just turn up ? Maybe she said it was the rent but she could be struggling.

Er - thats literally the definition of someone that hasn't budgeted.

I've reached the conclusion that a clothing allowance would make (DD) think about what she buys. If she wants something a bit more expensive than a cheap t-shirt she will have to save up for it. And she will think twice about buying something and not wearing it

Very wise of you; not only will it teach her a vital lesson about budgeting, it may even save you a bit as well

A win-win surely?

When did I laugh ?

I gave you an answer.

Lending money to someone you clearly think doesn’t know how to budget doesn’t seem smart to me.

So next time dont budget for her 🤷‍♀️ Simple

Haven't read the whole thread but I agree that if your friend agrees to go away on holiday but then backs out losing you your deposit you have every right to be annoyed. Obviously if someone had a proper crisis like losing their job and couldn't go that would be fair enough but going away together is a commitment they should be budgeting for.

FishCanFly ’A lot of businesses offer those get now - pay later schemes for things. Not helpful at all’

Yes! The one I keep seeing is ‘Klarna’ on sites like Topshop, Asos, Look Fantastic etc. I would never buy a clothing or beauty item that I needed an instalment plan to afford. It’s just ridiculous and I hate that these shops are offering it.

I hear what you're saying OP. I have a friend like this. Lots of holidays e.g. Hawaii/Canada/Mexico in last 2 years, weekends away most months, car twice the size of mine etc. However, she couldn't pay to have her boiler fixed or fence repaired.
It's none of my business what she can or cannot afford. She clearly has a different mindset me as she and her husband prefer to spend their money on fun stuff - she'll certainly have more happy memories of her life than me - but I do wish she'd stop moaning about not having enough money, which she does a lot, and saying, "It's all right for some' when anyone buys a treat that is small by her standards.
I do think it's a mindset thing though. I couldn't not have a rainy day fund whilst she would never consider it. Perhaps it should be taught in schools.

I drive an old car of a not-posh brand. My TV was about £200 from ASDA. My phone was second hand from a work colleague. They all do the job. I keep my clothes a long time. I save money on those items because my priority is nice holidays, which I can afford because I skimp elsewhere.

I can't tell you how many times friends on similar pay to me, dressed in the latest fashion with the latest tech gadgets who drive new cars and yes, get their nails done regularly etc., say "I wish I could afford to go on holidays like that, you're so lucky."

I am lucky in many ways, but not in the way they mean. They just don't get it when I try to explain.

Thanks @MargotMoon

OP, I get it.

@CTRL
I don’t like the assumption that just because OP saw her friend get a new phone that means she doesn’t know how to budget.

But it sounds as though the friend reneged on a debt she had run up with the OP. She effectively took out a loan (from OP) for a holiday and then discovered she couldn't afford to pay it back because she also had another entirely-predictable bill to pay for her phone. She clearly doesn't know how to budget because she is borrowing more than she can afford to pay back in order to buy luxuries.

I totally agree with you. It is highly frustrating to witness, because as a friend or family member of someone who doesn't budget, you then have to deal with their stress and drama of not being able to pay their rent, essential bills etc because they've spent their money on luxuries, and then others are forced to bail them out (who may have even less money, but manage it better). And I can tell you, people who don't budget don't appreciate any well-intentioned advice about budgeting either, oh no!