to ask how to chill the fuck out

[cjt110]

I've got a lot going on at home at the moment - neighbour issues - which is basically being lumped onto me on behalf of the entire block.

My son is being particularly trying but I am hoping that is just because he's bored of the summer hols and will sort itself shortly now he's back at school.

I basically feel like a pent up ball of anger and rage and need to switch off, and chill out. But I don;t know how to.

I can feel my body going into a crash mode with my health conditions and I want to try and save it before it spirals

Go out for a walk in a park - clear your head.

Can you pass your neighbour issue off onto someone else?

Stop taking responsibility for other people.
Just spend your time doing things for you and DS - things that will make you happy.

Hard and fast walk up a hill. Give yourself two hours out of your environment in the fresh air and walk fast. Once st the top, massive deep breaths and scream (if no one around).

Can you pass your neighbour issue off onto someone else? I've basically done as much as I can now and have washed my hands of it. I mentally cannot cope with the shit I am having to deal with and why should I shoulder it all for everyone.

Currently at work so cant go for a walk.

I feel like I am having to be responsible to and for so many people. People who can be responsible for themselves... like the kitchen sink at work. Why I am dealing with it - it's not for me to deal with but it's been piled onto me because it's easier and they know I will sort it.

I'm just fed up of this

@cjt110 just don't do it. If someone asks you to, say "sorry, no. I always end up cleaning it and other people disrespect the area. If everyone cleaned up after themselves, it wouldn't be a problem."
Then leave it to whoever's asked you to resolve (unless you're a cleaner then obviously might be your responsibility)

Get in the car (or somewhere quiet) and scream. Loud. Hard. Long. Beat up a pillow. Get your anger out.

I know this sounds silly but I find watching jellyfish (on YouTube) soothing, even if I'm angry. Could be fish, whatever you choose and works best

A long, hard walk, put some music on and just walk. As fast as you can. Walk off your anger.

@AmIThough It's a broken sink issue that needs repairs. I reported it because nobody else who was here knew who to contact. As such, I then told the building custodian. But nothing has been done and when I asked about it (I know I shouldn't have...) I was told "Well, you reported it.. haven't you had an update"

Not sure what your home situation is like, but can you ask your partner/family member/ friend to watch your kid/kids (if they need bubbasitters) and take a weekend break away. Was in this situation a while ago and sometimes an evening at home alone just doesnt cut it. You need space away from everyone and everything, go somewhere a few hours from home where nobody knows you, in a place that you can cry shout etc with no one around to say shit all. Bit of TLC for yourself is not selfish, it is needed so you can be mentally stable to handle life. Doesnt have to be expensive, cheap airbnb or something. All the best OP

I dance like a maniac to 80's music or I also find having a little project keeps me sane like making or painting when the little ones goes down when I say painting I mean like skirtings etc not pictures it just clears my mind doing something like that

@pooopypants Some good suggestions.

I am just tired. Dog tired. Of everything right now.

Go to the park and feed the ducks or some birds.

It can be highly entertaining. You need to do something light-hearted.

(Don't use bread - buy the food at the park.)

@cjt110 ah understood - just venting my own frustrations about the tramps
I work with there i think

Just ignore it from now on. If anyone asks you about it, say "I reported it and chased but got nowhere. Might be worth you giving it a try - the more people to report, the more likely they are to fix it"
Gets people off your back easily that way

Make sure you take your break too! On your lunch break go somewhere with fresh air, even if it's just on the car park, and just shut off for an hour.

I second the music, some mad dancing during the day to something you really like, and I listen to the narrated version of Peter and The Wolf when I want to drop off to sleep to distract my mind from going down the thought rabbit hole.

Some CBD oil? Or even some cannabis in the eveing? (I recently began using it again for meno symptoms, bloody fantastic)

@crazylady7 I wish I could even afford to do that! Its myself, my son and husband at home.

I just feel like the world is against me right now and I;m slipping deeper and deeper

Some CBD oil? Or even some cannabis in the eveing? (I recently began using it again for meno symptoms, bloody fantastic) The neighbour issue is to do with cannabis. Are you no87?

I second the couple of days away somewhere suggestion. Putting actual physical space between you and everybody and everything can work wonders. Planning the break will give you something positive to focus on. Countryside? seaside? A different city to explore?

Exercise is good for managing my stress/anger. Going for an angry and frustrated run makes me feel so much calmer.
Eating healthily, although for years and five stone later comfort eating.
Therapy and antidepressants. Although you may not need that!
My dh finds mindfulness really helpful. I sometimes have to spend time working out what it is I'm feeling rather than waiting until I explode. Also communicating my feelings in a positive way before I explode is useful.
Also when my dcs are pissing me off I give myself time out. Adults and dcs have time out to calm down in our house! We can tell each other if we think they need it or you can decide yourself if you need it.

Can you hide in the toilet and listen to some music? Or scream into your handbag?

The neighbour issue is to do with cannabis. Are you no87?

You're not in a "turf war" with them are you? (I don't live at that number, and I very much doubt my neighbours are bothered about a middle aged widow having the occasional shmoke)

I've already eaten 3 pots of noodles for breakfast... I know...

I am just ARGGHHHHHH

I think maybe some space from work at lunch

I felt like this last year. My mum paid for acupuncture for stress and I found it really helped to calm me down and get everything back in order body-wise. I'd really recommend it. I only had 6 sessions over as many weeks. My life is still very stressful but I am coping a lot better with it now.

I love pot noodles. What flavour? I like chicken and mushroom the best. I'm on a diet, can you tell I'm food obsessed??

@cjt110 you need - right away - to do something that is just for you. I think I'd sneak a duvet day once kids are back at school. Or book a day off work and then go and spend it alone just looking after yourself. You could go for a walk, buy a good book or magazine and have a long bath and read, take an afternoon nap, or go out into town, have a mini massage/facial/makeover for free in a department store, look round the shops or an exhibition, walk along the river, have a leisurely lunch. And buy a notebook, sit with a coffee and make a long list of stuff you want to do, however tiny or massive. Then start doing the easy stuff and planning the ambitious stuff.

And say No to everyone except immediate family and essential work for your boss. Take time back for yourself.

Small stuff helps. Get up 30 mins before the family and have coffee in peace, watching the birds or do a meditation or quick yoga video etc. Doesn't solve anything but gives you a short break from it all.

@LittleSweet it was beef instant noodles. 3 pots.

And now... i have 3 beef and tomato pot noodles. I too am on a diet.

I regret NOTHING

I think I started off on a bad foot with my son and knowing my husband was off for 3 days yet he still let DS mither me whilst I was trying to get dressed.

In the end I asked him to do the school run (which I usually do) and left for work