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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About first day back to school hijack

46 replies

dontcallmeduck · 04/09/2019 09:43

I think I am BU but I’m still upset by it. Today was the DC’s first day back to school. I’ve had an hour booked off work for 2 months to take them back as I rarely get to do the school run. DH was going to the office but I suggested he wfh to be able to come to school with us. We set off in good time so they can play with their friends before the doors open, halfway there (walking) I realised dc1 has forgotten to do his teeth so me and him rush back and I tell DH I’ll see him there. We’re back in the yard 10 minutes before the bell but DH has sent dc2 in so I didn’t get to give him a cuddle and wave him off.

DC2 wouldn’t have bothered at all but for me it feels like DH just hasn’t bothered to think. He thinks I’m being daft being upset but I’m just a bit sad that I didn’t get to wave him off on his first day back.

OP posts:
AMidsummersNightsNightmare · 04/09/2019 09:45

I’d be a bit annoyed too, especially if it was before the bell went. But at least your DC wouldn’t be upset about it.

Soubriquet · 04/09/2019 09:49

Personally I think you were silly to run back home. Child would have survived missing brushing their teeth for one morning.

Usernumbers1234 · 04/09/2019 09:58

Just chill out a bit, you will be doing your health no favours.

This stuff really doesn’t matter in the bigger picture, nor does missing cleaning your teeth once in a blue moon

Chocolatehat · 04/09/2019 09:58

Your DH was very insensitive but you were very silly to take your child back to brush their teeth on such an important day.

Original poster
dontcallmeduck · 04/09/2019 09:58

We only went back as he was upset he had forgotten and we had plenty of time.

OP posts:
Proseccoinamug · 04/09/2019 10:21

I wouldn’t have sent dc to school without brushing teeth either! And I’d be upset with DH.

CandyLeBonBon · 04/09/2019 10:29

I would've done the teeth brushing thing but getting upset about dc going without a big fanfare? Not so much. You'll see your dc go in tomorrow. DC2 was no doubt impatient to get in and see friends after the summer, so I do think you are being a tiny bit precious really.

Witchend · 04/09/2019 10:32

First day of school, yanu.
Just first day back, not reasonable, especially as he wasn't bothered. He may well have wanted to go in, and holding him back waiting for you wouldn't help him m.

fishonabicycle · 04/09/2019 10:41

Don't sweat the small stuff! Honestly, this sort of thing is so trivial and not with getting upset about.

hoxtonbabe · 04/09/2019 10:43

I agree with Candy. It’s all a bit precious. I totally understand if it was first day in reception or year 7 as that’s quite a bit of a milestone, but if it’s just going back to the same school as they did last year then it’s a bit much plus as soon as the kids see their friends they are usually off like a rocket to catch up with them, in primary I know my lot were quite happy to see the back of me once we got to the school gates, lol. My youngest started Y7 yesterday and was happy to have me around him, today he’s already walking ahead, God knows what the end of the week will bring, so this time next year he’d be mortified if I even thought of seeing him off at school for the first day back ( as much as I may want toGrin)

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2019 10:43

What year is your younger child in? It all seems very dramatic unless I suppose it was their first day of school.

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 04/09/2019 10:46

I don't understand why you're upset?

jesuschristwtf · 04/09/2019 10:47

Is this child’s first day of school as in kindergarten or reception?

Chitarra · 04/09/2019 10:48

IMO this is not worth worrying about.

Tonnerre · 04/09/2019 10:50

Unless this was your DC2's very first day in school, I think you're making too big a deal of this. Even if it was the first day, in many ways DC2 is better off with it being treated fairly matter-of-factly and sent in rather than being made to wait around for you to get there whilst the stress builds up.

bluechameleon · 04/09/2019 10:53

I'd have been a bit put out too. You've just made me realise I didn't brush DS1's teeth before his first day of reception today...

Ellisandra · 04/09/2019 10:54

How old?
Did the child want to go in with his friends anyway?
I can’t picture it, as in our primary and all the ones my friends use, you can’t go inside until the bell goes!

Unless it was their first day at school ever, I wouldn’t expect your husband to think that carefully about it.

It wasn’t important enough to you to do first school run together, to hold both of them whilst you went back for the teeth brushing, so you already signalled to your husband that it wasn’t that much of a big deal, I think.

Gizlotsmum · 04/09/2019 10:54

Actually as you don't often get to do the school run I get it. DH probably didn't think and saw others going in so he sent dc2 in. Will you do pick up tonight?

Ellisandra · 04/09/2019 10:57

Armchair psychologist says you’re upset because you feel guilty that work means you don’t usually do school runs. If that’s in any way, true - please try to drop the guilt! Flowers

MuddlingMackem · 04/09/2019 10:57

YANBU.

Yes, it's not a big deal in the overall scheme of things, but if taking the kids to school is something you don't usually get to do then the rare occasions you do are going to be special to you, however mundane they are to the child(ren) involved.

But taking a child back to brush their teeth is unnecessary, just reassure them that brushing when they get home after school will be fine as a one-off. :)

Soubriquet · 04/09/2019 10:57

@Ellisandra

At my dc’s school, the gates open at 8.45 and children go in whenever they are ready. No bells

School starts at 8.55

Stickybeaksid · 04/09/2019 10:58

I literally wouldn’t have given a tiny shit about this. Life is too short to tie yourself up in knots about stuff like this. He wasn’t leaving for a period abroad in the army or something. You will see him in a few hours and he won’t have cared at all

tillytrotter1 · 04/09/2019 11:02

One for the album!

Chewbecca · 04/09/2019 11:06

It's really not worth the headspace.

JetPlanesMeeting · 04/09/2019 11:13

I have done the school run to death but I can see how important it is to people who don't get the opportunity to do it often.

OP said she booked an hour off work to do this school run, not even a day. I get how precious annual leave is when you are juggling childcare.

Your Dh was an idiot not realising how important this was for you. But please don't beat yourself up over it. Luckily you got to see one of your children in.