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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About first day back to school hijack

46 replies

dontcallmeduck · 04/09/2019 09:43

I think I am BU but I’m still upset by it. Today was the DC’s first day back to school. I’ve had an hour booked off work for 2 months to take them back as I rarely get to do the school run. DH was going to the office but I suggested he wfh to be able to come to school with us. We set off in good time so they can play with their friends before the doors open, halfway there (walking) I realised dc1 has forgotten to do his teeth so me and him rush back and I tell DH I’ll see him there. We’re back in the yard 10 minutes before the bell but DH has sent dc2 in so I didn’t get to give him a cuddle and wave him off.

DC2 wouldn’t have bothered at all but for me it feels like DH just hasn’t bothered to think. He thinks I’m being daft being upset but I’m just a bit sad that I didn’t get to wave him off on his first day back.

OP posts:

MyCatHatesEverybody · 04/09/2019 11:15

It's only their first day back, not their first day. When you remembered DS1 hadn't brushed his teeth why did you have to mention it to him, surely you could have just let it go so he could've had a relaxed first school run back and played with his friends as planned? I think you're overreacting because you're annoyed with yourself.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/09/2019 11:17

I’m sure my dh could have written this sort of post. He went to work late the last day of dds primary school so as to take dd in. I had loads of gifts and thought he’d realise i was going too to thank all the support staff and hand out gifts etc. We went early to do this and in 2 cars so he could go off with plans to meet at the gates. Dh with dd. Dh saw me and drove off leaving dd. He thought I’d hijacked his plans when in reality he was tagging onto mine. I otoh saw it as us doing something as a family.

We were both pretty upset with the other. It’s just miscommunication. There will be another day to do this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/09/2019 11:19

Oh and running back to brush teeth was ott. Even without your dhs intervention you somewhat spoiled the experience by insisting on this.

ElizaDee · 04/09/2019 11:19

@hoxtonbabe Wed 04-Sep-19 10:43:33
I agree with Candy. It’s all a bit precious. I totally understand if it was first day in reception or year 7 as that’s quite a bit of a milestone, but if it’s just going back to the same school as they did last year then it’s a bit much plus as soon as the kids see their friends they are usually off like a rocket to catch up with them, in primary I know my lot were quite happy to see the back of me once we got to the school gates, lol. My youngest started Y7 yesterday and was happy to have me around him, today he’s already walking ahead, God knows what the end of the week will bring, so this time next year he’d be mortified if I even thought of seeing him off at school for the first day back ( as much as I may want togrin)

You took your secondary school aged kid to school?

viques · 04/09/2019 11:20

I would have seen it as a nice opportunity for dad to have some 1-1 school run time with DC2.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 04/09/2019 11:23

I get you’re annoyed, but your DH did the right thing for your D.C.

First day back at school, what matters to most DC is their friends. It would have been a bad move to hold them up.

Original poster

dontcallmeduck · 04/09/2019 11:36

Like you all say, DC wasn’t bothered so I’ll try to get over myself. I think it is because I’d booked the time off to meet the new to the school teachers that they both have. I won’t get to pick up tonight unfortunately.

I am a bit surprised by people saying i should’ve let my eldest go without brushing his teeth though. I know he’s a child but I’d feel grim all day if I forgot to brush my teeth before work. If we were on the last minute I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it but because we were early I knew we had more than enough time to go back.

At our school the playground is open from 8.30, doors to class open at 8.45/8.50 for the children to go in and bell goes at 8.55 and doors and gates close.

It is obviously great that my youngest was so keen to get into his new class so I look forward to hearing all about his day later.

OP posts:

MyCatHatesEverybody · 04/09/2019 11:43

You say you'd feel grim all day not brushing your teeth but you're projecting your adult feelings onto a young child who really isn't going to care if he's not had it pointed out to him. You don't normally get to do the school run (this is not a dig at you) so I would be very surprised if it doesn't already happen occasionally when you're not around.

I hope they both enjoy their first day back

DontMakeMeShushYou · 04/09/2019 11:44

You took your secondary school aged kid to school?

I thought that as well! I'm hoping @hoxtonbabe means 7 year-old, not Y7.

MullinerSpec · 04/09/2019 11:57

Really this is what your upset about!! Life's too short for such minor points. At least he got to school on time be grateful for that. I'm with your husband on this.

SophyStantonLacy · 04/09/2019 11:58

Where I live there are plenty of Y7 kids (and all other secondary years too) who wouldn't be able to get to school without their parents driving them.

Chillyourbeans · 04/09/2019 12:02

Walked my yr 7 to school today. Most parents did and the school actually emailed and encouraged us to do it if at all possible.

hoxtonbabe · 04/09/2019 12:05

@DontMakeMeShushYou

All 200 odd parents did! It’s normal in my area for parents to walk in on the first day, especially as his school is not within walking distance and though flats that are known for stabbings, etc, so yes I can confidently say at least 90% of parents dropped their year 7 kids off as most in my borough would have

FrancisCrawford · 04/09/2019 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tonnerre · 04/09/2019 12:13

If we were on the last minute I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it but because we were early I knew we had more than enough time to go back

So am I right in thinking he wouldn't have remembered this if you hadn't asked about it? If so, the whole issue seems to be entirely self-inflicted.

hoxtonbabe · 04/09/2019 12:13

@Chillyourbeans

Exactly, it’s actually encouraged especially if the child is not within a 5 minute walking distance home.

Yarval · 04/09/2019 12:20

Hmmm maybe dial down the drama a bit. It’s not a big deal. You could have just gone to your kids school door and asked teacher if you could give him a kiss goodbye. Mine often run ahead and in so I’m always going in after for a quick goodbye and a kiss. You need to be a bit more practical and less hystrionic I’d say. What’s with the running home to clean teeth!! Too much stress. Calm down.

ElizaDee · 04/09/2019 12:42

When I was at school there was no way I'd have been seen to be taken to school by my parents.

ElizaDee · 04/09/2019 12:43

*Secondary

FrancisCrawford · 04/09/2019 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyshark2019 · 04/09/2019 23:10

I agree with OP. She took time off to do the run. Her husband should have been more considerate to her feelings.

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