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Original poster

School mornings...Heeelllppp!!

53 replies

fluffyslippers02 · 04/09/2019 09:13

Ive been dong the school run for few years...and it as never got any easier. The mornings always end up shouting and nagging at darling child to "GET DRESSED" "BRUSH YOUR TEETH" Aaargghh!! Ive tried everything, he has first shower so he has more time, then I changed it to a little later so he almosts has to rush, ive took phones etc away and gets them back once ready., Ive let him watch tv after he's dressed, Nothing works, Im still moaning at him to get his socks and shoes on literally as we should be leaving. I don't know what else to ,do, its a constant battle. DS is 11 by the way, and started high school this year so really should know better. Any advice would be fab, I dont want the morning arguments any more. Thanks

OP posts:
mossmurray · 04/09/2019 09:16

Let him be late. At 11 he has to take the responsibility himself.

WaterSheep · 04/09/2019 09:18

11!! Goodness me by this point i'd be taking a step back. If you take him to school then he goes as is when the time comes. If he goes by himself the same applies.

recededpronunciation · 04/09/2019 09:18

Could he shower the night before?

jesuschristwtf · 04/09/2019 09:19

Why are you still babying him? This is your fault - step back and let him be late, let him bear the consequences or you’ll be doing this well into his adulthood.

Hoppinggreen · 04/09/2019 09:20

Does he need a shower every morning? If you do feel he needs to shower daily the. Could he do it before bed?
If he’s on my just started Secondary I pro wouldn’t let him be late just yet but I might give him a deadline after which it’s his responsibility to get there on time

user87382294757 · 04/09/2019 09:22

Well, I am having the same with my DS age 14! (the younger at ten is fine!) So I understand the frustration...

HypatiaCade · 04/09/2019 09:31

Draw up a timetable for everything, and break it down to the 5/10 minutes. List EVERYTHING, eg 'spray deodorant'; 'put on pants, trousers, school shirt, tie, socks.' Work out the order which he prefers to get ready with him, and work backwards. Be generous with the times. Put a copy up wherever he needs to see it, bedroom, bathroom, breakfast area etc.

Make sure he has a large clock in his room and elsewhere. Then at any point he knows when he is running late.

Pre do as much the night before, getting bag ready, school uniform ready and I agree with others, showering the night before. It also helps mine to eat before getting dressed, saves getting their clothes dirty!

Give him 2 separate leaving times -,' on time with a nice walk' and 'late - need to run the whole way'.

All mobile devices should be either in your room overnight or in the communal area, and he doesn't touch them until you hand phone over before you leave (if he is one).

user87382294757 · 04/09/2019 14:52

As they start secondary the things to remember can increase. has he just started I wonder.

We put a timetable on the fridge for him to check the night before so it is all ready by the door. Getting up early helps too.

SallyWD · 04/09/2019 14:54

We have stressful mornings so me and the kids shower at night! No way we could do it in the mornings.

GooodMythicalMorning · 04/09/2019 15:00

Leave him to it! If he's late he's late, he'll soon get annoyed with it.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/09/2019 15:03

11? I haven't read the other responses but I wouldn't be getting involved whatsoever.

My dds are 8 & 10 and are entirely independent in the mornings. I haven't, and wouldn't have, been involved for years. I'll make their breakfast if they want eggs but that's it. I get myself ready, and wait by the door for 8 yo in the morning on mumsnet. 10yo has normally already gone.

DungeonDweller · 04/09/2019 15:08

11!!

You shouldn't have to micromanage this at all. Just unusual stuff (e.g. remember to ask if packed special kit or cooking ingredients etc).

Drop the shower, if he's late, too bad, no time. If he sits a bit stinky for 1 day it'll be good motivation to sort it out. And probably better for his skin to skip it occasionally.

Step back and see what happens instead of trying to control it more, op. Most kids (most. Not all) will buck up after being late 2, 3 times and the hassle it causes. Make sure he explains why he's late to school. You may even give the teachers a heads up, but it depends on how well you know his/how big the school is.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 04/09/2019 15:08

I hate to break it to you... DS is 15 and it is still 'why are you sitting there in your dressing gown, staring into space? Eat your breakfast!!!'

I try to have as much organized the night before - so all ironing done and checked, shoes polished, breakfast/dishes/cutlery on the table, coffee pot washed and ready for action etc and remind him the night before that his bag/sports kit needs to be packed and checked so there is no faffing abour in the morning (bus pass in the right place, check intranet for homework and any items he needs to take etc).

He would forget his head if it wasnt screwed on - he is an absolute 'dotty professor' and does need an extra kick up the bum that other people don't. He would be sitting there working out the chemical composition of god knows what whilst the house burned down.

I try to be as organised as possible and make sure that whatever time he needs to be up - I set the alarms for 30 minutes before that (but I need to be up way before anyone else anyway).

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 04/09/2019 15:09

And no - he isn't mummied or molly-coddled - he is a really smart kid but really has a (diagnosed) processing issue!

M3lon · 04/09/2019 15:18

Another parent of a child who can't get this, rather than won't. We decided to home-educate rather than find out whatever it would take to get our DD out the house for an 8:30 am deadline....

However, I totally agree with other posters. Leave him to sort himself out - if he gets it then great! If not, then the way in which he fails will give you more insight into the problem....

Ginseng1 · 04/09/2019 15:52

I had this til my big two were 9 & 7 & they started going on the school bus & for some reason they hate to miss the bus & miss the catch up with friends so have never had a problem since! Yes it's a rush in morn last min out of bed race around for missing shoe etc but if they miss the bus it's on them. they have to come back I'll run them in but they be late for school & get in trouble, which they don't like either. Maybe let him be late what would happen?

fishonabicycle · 04/09/2019 16:01

I think the more you baby them the worse they get. Mine had to set an alarm and get himself up as soon as he went to secondary (we both work and are out early). I think he was late maybe twice in 7 years. Both times he phoned in a panic and got me to call school today he was late. Let your boy get into trouble. Tell him you are leaving at whatever time and he needs to.be ready by then. Stop nagging him.

CacenCrunch · 04/09/2019 16:03

Shower the night before and get everything ready for next day
TV does not get turned on at all unless he is ready early and has nothing else to do while waiting

Original poster
fluffyslippers02 · 04/09/2019 16:26

Thanks all for your replies, We do get things ready the night before, he sorts his bag out, I sort uniforms etc. If I leave him to it and ends up running late, I will also be late for work, we live to far for him to walk. I'm going to try the no shower thing in the morning, and no TV or gadgets in his room. Fingers crossed now that he's a little older than last time I tried, it'll work.

OP posts:
DungeonDweller · 04/09/2019 16:29

It's not up to him to agree to it. If he plays with electronics, when late, and clearly told the new rules, just take them away. When he's independently been on time three mornings, give them back. You're the parent here!

DungeonDweller · 04/09/2019 16:31

If he's half dressed, chuck clothes in the car. Teeth not brushed? It can slip for the day.

Seriously op, the time you leave is the time you leave. No excuses! If he has the potential to make you late to work this really isn't on, he's 11 and normally functioning from what you have said... Not 5.

user87382294757 · 04/09/2019 16:46

Mine too has the school saying - processing issue as well, it is quite common they say (for the 'babying' posters) It is not always their or the parents fault, it is just how they are. I treat mine the same but my 10 year old will be all up and dressed, straightaway while the 14 year old is in a dream!

ellzebellze · 04/09/2019 16:47

Forewarn your work that you will be late in on a particular day (make up some excuse or other).

Tell your ds that in the morning, you will wake him up but he is to get ready for school by himself, there will be no nagging, moaning, shouting reminders at all. He is to be ready to go by x time.

Sure as eggs is eggs, he will not be ready at the appointed time.

You'll probably only have to do it the once.

user87382294757 · 04/09/2019 16:47

We get up early- 6.45 so time for breakfast at 7-7.15...then has plenty of time after to get dressed etc, and a bath in the evening can help too.

Ellisandra · 04/09/2019 16:49

If it’s too far to walk, then he’ll have to walk / bus / walk, and deal with the detention for being hours late 🤷‍♀️

Give him a leaving time, and go.

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