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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too far to go for school?

53 replies

Toomuch999 · 03/09/2019 18:00

My ds is asking to move schools for 6th form, to one 32 miles away. Aibu to say it’s too far for a daily commute, six days a week? What’s the maximum your dc travel daily?

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 03/09/2019 18:01

How would he get there?

northdevonnewbie · 03/09/2019 18:02

How long does it take to get there?

LucieFurr · 03/09/2019 18:02

I think it would depend on the train she wants to move. If the course she wants to do isn't offered more locally, it may be worth it.

LucieFurr · 03/09/2019 18:03

Reason, not train!

Bookworm4 · 03/09/2019 18:03

Is he 17? I’m sure he’ll manage, especially if it doable by train. Encourage his independence

Original poster
Toomuch999 · 03/09/2019 18:08

Takes about 45 mins, will entail me driving him to next town at 7.00am to get school bus at 7.20 to arrive for school by 8.20, six days a week. I know it only two years but... then dd might want to go...

OP posts:
WaterSheep · 03/09/2019 18:09

will entail me driving him to next town at 7.00am

How long will this take you each day?

Chocolatemouse84 · 03/09/2019 18:15

I went to a college in the different county to where I lived, it was about a 45-50 minute journey. It was tiring at first, I'd leave the house at 7am and get back at 5pm but I got used to it. There was a group of us who got the same bus from my area and we bacame really close and the journey became fun. I'm really glad I did it as I loved the college and knew it was a better fit for me than the local one.

Raphael34 · 03/09/2019 18:15

It sounds a long way but 45 minutes is nothing, I wouldn’t worry. My dd is starting secondary tomorrow. The school is only 8 miles away but she’s catching a school bus through a busy city which will take about an hour and ten minutes each way.

Raphael34 · 03/09/2019 18:16

He can take the opportunity to do his homework on the way back so the rest of the evening is his when he gets home

Clangus00 · 03/09/2019 18:19

Is he allowed to attend a school so far away? I mean catchment wise, or is 6th form different? We don’t have that predicament in Scotland..

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 03/09/2019 18:20

If they want to go there then they need to make their own way there - what are their reasons for wanting to go there??

whattodowith · 03/09/2019 18:24

Tell him he can do it if he learns to drive himself.

PumpkinPie2016 · 03/09/2019 18:27

Why is it 6 days a week?

Can you do the 20 min drive for the bus stop?

I think if he really wants to go there and you can do it then support him.

I want to the local 6th form college but because we lived in a village I used to get the 7.30am bus (left the house at 7.20am) and sometimes not get back until 6pm (unreliable tea time service!). It was fine.

NailsNeedDoing · 03/09/2019 18:29

Yabu, 45 minute daily commute for a college student is perfectly normal.

What's the problem though, is there some reason why it's difficult for you to take him to the next town, or is his reason for wanting to go there particularly daft or something?

Ffs1608 · 03/09/2019 18:30

My DS went to school a mile from house but chose to go to college in nearest city. 5 mins walk to bus stop, 1hr on bus and 10-15min walk to campus. It was the course he wanted and we discussed the commute. Turned out "full time" was 2.5 days so he only did the commute 3 times a week. He spent the time revising for his driving theory on a phone app. Travelling did wonders for his confidence and independence. He has a 30 mile commute now to uni, again his choice not to live in.
I didn't have to drive him to catch a bus. Think it depends how keen he is on that college, the hours and extra time commitment from you both?

pinkcardi · 03/09/2019 18:33

Doesn't seem that bad, I wouldn't have a problem with it. He's doing most of the journey, rather than you sat in the car for hours a day.

I'd be impressed that he was mature enough to take the harder option (getting up early, long bus, rather than rolling out of bed last minute to turn up the the nearest local school)

Lauraloop1516 · 03/09/2019 18:34

I did that exact journey for seven years in secondary school - needs must.

DonPablo · 03/09/2019 18:35

6 days a week? I've never heard of that before.

Sorryandstressed · 03/09/2019 18:37

The six days a week is unusual but I did that kind of journey (timewise) for college

MrsPellegrinoPetrichor · 03/09/2019 18:37

I was doing an hour's journey from 11 years old,bust stop was opposite my house though.

Weathergirl1 · 03/09/2019 18:38

My school was 17 miles away and took about 40 minutes on a coach (with pick ups/drop offs both ways) door to door. I did that for just over 4 years and it was fine, but I was only out of our house 8-4:40 each day. Incidentally, the coaches to my school were arranged by parents (the whole thing started as car share and progressed to a minibus, then one coach, then multiple coaches!) - are there any others near you who might share drop offs?

It's going to come down to weighing up the benefits against the costs

wonkylegs · 03/09/2019 18:39

I went to 6th form 20miles away from home (started off 10miles away and then moved) but due to commuter traffic into and across Bristol, it used to take over an hour (it had taken over an hour when it was 10miles because it was a particularly crap route) and my mum had to drive me as there was no other choice.
The college I went to had an extended school day so it was a long day but it was fine.
I couldn't drive but I made friends & bf's who did, the biggest issue was socialising and I spent a lot of time sleeping over at friends houses
So yes I'd say it was doable if you were happy to do it, is there anyway they could sometimes bike to the train so that the onus wasn't always on you.

user1493413286 · 03/09/2019 18:40

I did a similar length journey at sixth form college (out of the house at 7 and back in 6-6.30) although less in miles and really it was too much alongside all the extra work of being at sixth form. I wouldn’t recommend it unless the nearer ones are really bad

wonkylegs · 03/09/2019 18:41

Sorry bike to the bus & fine somewhere secure to leave his bike (friends house)