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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too far to go for school?

53 replies

Toomuch999 · 03/09/2019 18:00

My ds is asking to move schools for 6th form, to one 32 miles away. Aibu to say it’s too far for a daily commute, six days a week? What’s the maximum your dc travel daily?

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 03/09/2019 18:41

If he’s adamant and you’re ok with driving...

I was a stubborn whatsit and did 1h30 each way. I did miss out on stuff due to the long commute but I loved going to the school.

DoomsdayCult · 03/09/2019 18:44

Our closest 6th form is 90mins away.
I guess if the one DS wants is a better school, it is worth the extra commute compared to a closer one.

HollyGoLoudly1 · 03/09/2019 18:45

If you're having to leave the house at 7, then I wouldn't say that's a 45 min commute. Do you mean the time on the bus will be 45 mins? Does school start at 8.20am or is that just when the bus arrives? If you're having to leave the house at 7am and schools starting at 8.30am or 9am then that's an awful long commute imo. 45 mins door to door might be fine but that doesn't seem like what he'll be doing.

Also why 6 days a week, I'm assuming a private school? It all sounds like a lot to me. Unless there was a very good reason why it has to be that school, or can't be the local school, then I wouldn't be keen on this at all.

FuriousVexation · 03/09/2019 18:55

What is his actual reason for wanting to go to 6th form?

So many "oh yeah me as well!" applications these days from kids who would be far better off just getting into the workplace

Sorrysorrysosorry · 03/09/2019 19:08

HollyGoLoudly

Op said

Takes about 45 mins, will entail me driving him to next town at 7.00am to get school bus at 7.20 to arrive for school by 8.20,

MyDcAreMarvel · 03/09/2019 19:11

My dd travels 50 minutes to high school, it’s not a big deal,

lovelyupnorth · 03/09/2019 19:12

28 miles away. 1 hour on the bus.

Leeds2 · 03/09/2019 19:15

I think that is a long commute, but at 16/17 he is surely old enough to make his own mind up as to whether it is doable? Assuming of course that you are willing and able to leave the house at 7am to take him to the bus stop. Also remember he may pass his driving test at some point during the two years of sixth form, so if there is any way he will be able to have his own car, he will be able to drive himself!

What is the attraction of the new school? If his reasoning was something like it offered subjects he wanted to study that local schools didn't offer, I would be more sympathetic than if it was because it was the school his girlfriend was going to.

bakingdiva · 03/09/2019 19:15

@FuriousVexation children are legally required to be in full time education until their 18th birthday so he will have to do some sort of sixth form somewhere

User344772734481882445 · 03/09/2019 19:16

From age 11 to age 16, I got the bus at 7:15 and arrived school 8:15. I didnt like it to be honest, but then it wasn't my choice. However, I coped just fine.

As it's his choice, i can't really see the issue....

SmartPlay · 03/09/2019 19:16

My daughter travelled 45 minutes to school at 10 years old. So at 17 this shouldn't be an issue.

Can't he get to the bus himself though?

westcountrychicken · 03/09/2019 19:17

For my A-levels it was a 10 min drive/25 minute bus ride to a village to catch a 35 min bus and then walk 20 mins once there. It's only two years.

coconuttelegraph · 03/09/2019 19:18

My dd travels 50 minutes to high school, it’s not a big deal

I assume you mean it's not a big deal for her, my DC would not be happy with that long a journey to school and it wouldn't be something I'd be too keen on them doing either.

It totally depends on the child and the family circumstances

coconuttelegraph · 03/09/2019 19:20

@FuriousVexation children are legally required to be in full time education until their 18th birthday so he will have to do some sort of sixth form somewhere

I don't know where the OP is or where you are but this is not true for England

SleepingStandingUp · 03/09/2019 19:20

I caught two buses across town which took a hour. Distance wasn't as huge but with change overs etc it was at least an hour.

At his age I think if he wants to go there and there's a suitable alternative closer, then he needs to get himself there.

ittakes2 · 03/09/2019 19:22

My daughter's 12 year old friend does similar timings. Gets dropped at bus stop and the bus leaves at 6.55am and she returns to bus stop at 7pm at night and loves her school.

HollyGoLoudly1 · 03/09/2019 19:29

@Sorrysorrysosorry

Yup I did read that thanks. So she leaves at 7am to take him to the bus, which leaves at 7.20am and gets to school at 8.20am. That's not a 45 min commute, unless I'm totally misreading something.

Original poster
Toomuch999 · 03/09/2019 19:47

Holly I see what you mean, I didn’t describe it very well. I will have to drive him to the next town (around 7) to pick up a bus that will take around 45 mins to one hour to get there, so actually a longer commute in total. It’s a private school yes (hence 6 days), with great facilities, that’s why he wants to go. i thought it might be just that bit too far but seems similar is doable for many of you. Thanks for the input.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toomuch999 · 03/09/2019 19:48

Coconut children in England do have to be in full time education until they’re 18 now.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 03/09/2019 19:50

How will he get home and at what time for those 6 days? It might be a good school but a 12 hour day followed by several hours of homework will start to wear quickly

EasyLifer · 03/09/2019 19:56

For me there would have to be a very very good reason to choose a school so far away that I would have to be involved with the logistics of transport. My DD is just going into yr 13 at the local comp, 10 mins walk at most from home!

BogglesGoggles · 03/09/2019 19:57

When I was at school there were people travel for more than an hour each way.

bookmum08 · 03/09/2019 20:00

Slightly of the topic but actually for England the rules are Education or Training until 18. They don't have to be in full time school at all. They can choose 6th form, college or an apprenticeship (which will contain some time in college) and to be honest if a 16/17 year old realises that the course they are doing isn't for them and 'drops out' then there is rarely any follow up from the education authorities.

BubblesBuddy · 03/09/2019 20:07

Does he have to be there every day at 8.20 am? Sometimes 6th form don’t have lessons first thing so go in later. Shame he cannot board! Look for a boarding school?

JoJoSM2 · 03/09/2019 20:08

Is he going to start driving soon? I suppose he could take himself to school and save you hassle and time.