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Original poster

Marks on baby DS after coming home from MIL - how to approach this?

53 replies

namechangedagain04 · 03/09/2019 11:38

My 4mo stayed with his grandma last night. I have picked him up this morning and have noticed two marks on him - a scratch on his left cheek and quite a big scratch on his right leg.

These marks weren't here when I dropped him off at teatime last night.

I don't know how to go about this now or how I should approach her about it. MIL has a dog and one of the scratches looks like it could be from the dog.

WWYD? Sad

OP posts:
Happyspud · 03/09/2019 11:38

You have to ask! He’s 4mths. It’s very unusual to have scratches on such an immobile child.

Rinoachicken · 03/09/2019 11:40

You must ask. He hasn’t got them by himself. But it may not be the dog - does she wear any jewellery? I remember accidentally scratching my DS as a baby with a ring I had on

Lumene · 03/09/2019 11:40

Ask what happened.

Original poster
namechangedagain04 · 03/09/2019 11:41

If I ask her I don't want her to think I'm accusing her of doing them. She doesn't wear jewellery no

OP posts:
GetUpAgain · 03/09/2019 11:41

Phone (not text) her and ask.

RatherBeRiding · 03/09/2019 11:41

Just ask her. No need to be confrontational - just "I noticed he had a couple of scratches and wondered how he got them?" As his mother you have every right to know.

If she gets very defensive, or even denies their existence, you might need to re-think how much time baby spends unsupervised with her.

PotteringAlong · 03/09/2019 11:42

He might have got them by himself. My 3 we’re forever scratching themselves with their finger nails

Original poster
namechangedagain04 · 03/09/2019 11:43

I've just cut his fingernails about 2 days ago so I don't think it could be his own doing

OP posts:
BadBadBeans · 03/09/2019 11:43

My five month old has been scratching himself on the face in his sleep for ages. One was a massive scratch right across his forehead! He has also scratched his leg during a nappy change. So I think he could easily have done it himself. However I would definitely ask your MIL and see what she says.

smokeytoby · 03/09/2019 11:43

You really do need to ask, if anything just for peace of mind.

PotteringAlong · 03/09/2019 11:43

It might be, statement of the obvious but if you’ve just cut them they are short but sharp

coconutpie · 03/09/2019 11:44

OP, he is your child and you should be told how he got those marks. Ring her up and say I noticed he had some marks on (wherever it was) and I wanted to know how he got them. Job done.

LightDrizzle · 03/09/2019 11:46

You have to ask. If it is from the dog, then you need to know.

PleasedToSeeYou · 03/09/2019 11:49

Agree with lightdrizzle it will need checking if it's from a dog

AmIThough · 03/09/2019 11:55

My LO also scratches her own face but never her leg.

Ask her. She could have caught him with her nail but should have told you straight away if that's the case.

Etino · 03/09/2019 11:57

You can't let him go back until you've asked and you're happy with the response.

HulksPurplePanties · 03/09/2019 12:01

Dogs aren't much for scratching, but I suppose it could have been an accident if this is the first time the dogs seeing the baby.

I'd been more inclined to think the baby scratched himself or you MIL did it accidentally.

It doesn't take much for a scratch to appear on a 4 month old. Mine got scratches all the time, their skin is just so sensitive at that age.

If you're super worried I'd just call and ask.

Atlasta · 03/09/2019 12:03

Agree you really must ask but prepare yourself for the fall-out.
Doting granny may take it as you are accusing her of hurting her dgc.

ijustdontbelieveit · 03/09/2019 12:06

I wouldn't leave your baby overnight with MIL again.

I would get the scratches checked like pps have said.

Derbee · 03/09/2019 12:07

I would ask her non confrontationally what the marks are, and what happened. You have a right to know what the marks are on your baby. If you can’t ask that kind of thing, I wouldn’t leave my baby with her.

sillysmiles · 03/09/2019 12:07

How did you not ask when you were picking him up? A simple "what happened ?" at the time face to face.

lifecouldbeadream · 03/09/2019 12:09

Any kind of injury to a non-mobile child needs further information

listsandbudgets · 03/09/2019 12:10

Hi Mum / MIL, thanks so much for looking after DS, I really needed the rest,. By the way when I was changing him last night I noticed a couple of scratches on his leg, expect it was just an accident. Just wondering if you know what happened? Thanks so much again love from namechangedagain

Span1elsRock · 03/09/2019 12:12

If you are comfortable enough to leave your DC in her care, you should be comfortable enough to ask how he got them.

She may feel dreadful about it though, so go gently. I scratched my granddaughter once by accident with my engagement ring... I took it off everytime I had her after, and my DD wasn't anywhere near as upset as I was about it but I really did feel terrible.

PullingMySocksUp · 03/09/2019 12:12

I’d get my OH to deal with it.

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