Marks on baby DS after coming home from MIL - how to approach this?

[namechangedagain04]

My 4mo stayed with his grandma last night. I have picked him up this morning and have noticed two marks on him - a scratch on his left cheek and quite a big scratch on his right leg.

These marks weren't here when I dropped him off at teatime last night.

I don't know how to go about this now or how I should approach her about it. MIL has a dog and one of the scratches looks like it could be from the dog.

WWYD?

I would get your husband/wife to ask.

I think it's a bit off that your MIL didn't explain how your DS got the marks without you having to ask to be honest. Tell your DH to ask her outright. You have every right to know.

I would ask but in a non confrontational way, chances are she’s either caught him doing his nappy (I did this to DS at a similar age felt awful) or he might of just caught himself with his nails, I always found when they were freshly cut they were sharper x

Ask. I never understand this mentality of being scared to speak to people especially regarding your baby.

"Hi MIL , thanks so much again for having DS , I did mean to ask you when I was there but forgot. I've noticed a few scratches on DS , what happened ? Love OP"

When I pick up DS from my MIL it's "poo? Food? Injury?" Like a quick fire round on both ends (18m so very prone to injuries at the minute.)

My babies nails grow so quickly, I have to cur them everyday so I wouldn’t rule out that he’s done it himself.

If you can’t ask that kind of thing, I wouldn’t leave my baby with her.

This is absolutely what you need to be considering, OP.

As she's not your mother, if you feel you can't ask her your DP certainly should.

Another question you might want to be considering is this: 'What are you afraid of? What do you believe might happen if you ask your MiL a legitimate question borne of concern for a child both of you are meant to love?'

I scratched my dgd on the leg a few weeks back, and was mortified.
I was changing a nappy and caught her, couldn't apologise enough to ds and dil, but luckily they took it fine. It was a bad scratch though

It’s very unusual to have scratches on such an immobile child.

Ha, tell that to my DD! She was forever scratching her face and ears at that age. She's actually scratching herself less now she's older as the startle reflex was to blame for most of them. Although now we are on to red marks from hitting herself on the face with toys 🙄

I made DS's tiny toe bleed the first time I cut his nails and still feel sick thinking about it 30 years later!

I'd be less worried about the scratches than the fact that your MiL didn't bring them to your attention, tbh. It could suggest several things, none of them good.

You must ask: your DS has no voice but yours. Bother whether she'll be annoyed or offended! And whatever her answer, the second question must be, "Why didn't you mention it when I picked him up?"

It's lioness time.

why didn't you just say straightaway'ooh what happened to his face?'

Scratches on the face and ears, you can understand, although if it's a big or deep scratch on the face I would probably rethink that.

You need to ask your MIL, not confrontationally, but just ask. He is your son, and as he isn't hugely mobile he shouldn't be obtaining injuries.

Was the one on his leg under where his clothing would have been?

My kids always seem to be scratching their faces but the leg one I’d be more worried about if it’s somewhere he can’t get to easily.

Ask!
Just a quick ‘oh do you know how dc has managed to get those two scratches?’
I agree about babies able to scratch their face. Both of mines have done that, Dc2 in particular. I’ve never seen them scratching their leg, probably because they have a layer of material to protect it.

You need to approach that, not as in ‘what do you do to my child’ way but as a gathering of information so that it doesn’t happen again. Aka if he is scratching his face, you want to have his nails kept short etc....

My daughter scratched her cheek when she was 6 weeks, we literally sat there and saw it happen in slow motion, there's a faint scar now because it was so deep but the can do it themselves. No harm in asking tho x

I would presume if she didn't mention them it because he inflicted them on himself. She probably thinks he does it often and therefore you would know how he had got them.

It does as PP have said however worry me that you don't seem to want to ring and ask her or that you didn't mention the one on his cheek when picking him up.

If you put the Johnsons baby cream that comes in a tube on the scratch it will help it heal quicker without leaving a mark.

@namechangedagain04 If you put the Johnsons baby cream that comes in a tube on the scratch it will help it heal quicker without leaving a mark.

PLEASE do not do this

Antiseptic cream

why?

This was always put on the baby I nannied for and mum said it helped heal babies skin. Babies skin does not need antiseptic for tiny scratches.

And if you're going to berate someone, don't get the name wrong and criticise someone else .

I liked @listsandbudgets wording. I definitely think you should ask, in a non-accusatory tone, for peace of mind.

@SunshineCake She was responding to @namechangedagain04 and highlighting your post for what not to do, not responding directly to you. Awkward 😬

Did you ask your MIL?

@SunshineCake I wasn't criticising OP and I didn't get the name wrong. I tagged op to bring it to her attention. If you look on the tube it clearly states it is not to be applied to broken skin. Poor babies

Just ask OP. You’re your babies advocate and you’ll find yourself in uncomfortable positions sometimes. You don’t have to accuse her of anything but there’s nothing wrong with asking.

If you have breastmilk dab some on and it’ll help to clear it up.

My baby? I'd ask straight up.

4 months is very young to be sleeping out. Is MIL usually careful? Does she leave the baby with dogs?

I would definitely ask her about the scratches.