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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised this kid’s parents haven’t been prosecuted?

276 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 03/09/2019 11:31

Teenage boy goes blind after being allowed to eat crap for the best part of a decade (BBC News link)

I mean surely this is tantamount to child abuse, or at the very least neglect? How does a parent allow this to happen? I mean you don’t have to be a nutritionist to know that chips, pringles and white bread aren’t exactly a balanced diet...

OP posts:
LisaSimpsonsbff · 03/09/2019 12:40

It says he was given B12 supplements and a diet at 14 but didn’t stick to it, the comment about dislike of textures yet chips, crisps and bread are all different textures. I think the parents need to take responsibility here

I don't see how you think they could have forced a 14 year old - almost certainly bigger and stronger than his mum - to eat things if he simply wouldn't? Do you think the parents of anorexics should also force food down their throats?

This case is horrible and very sad, but I think there must also be an element of bad luck or other health issues, because such terrible diets aren't that uncommon and while it's never good or healthy, it doesn't usually have consequences as dire as this.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 03/09/2019 12:46

He says himself he has aversion to textures etc.

Try having a child with sensory problems and aversions to textures/smells and then come back and tell us his parents should be prosecuted op

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 03/09/2019 12:46

My step nephew got increasingly difficult to feed healthily as he's aged. At 19 he now has a very restricted diet whereas when younger he would eat some fruit and carrots.

He has prescribed vitamin supplements yet is not consistent with taking them. His brothers ad sisters all eat very well. His parents and step parents have really struggled to manage his diet. They have spent years trying to help him and have worked with a variety of professionals. Blaming the parents with no knowledge of any of their personal circumstances is a bit unfair.

NoisingUpNissan · 03/09/2019 12:49

This is terrifying. My son is autistic and has only just started to tolerate fruit and veg aged 6. I can so easily seen how this can happen.

TeamUnicorn · 03/09/2019 12:51

April to be honest it is incredibly frustrating that he will no longer touch food that he once ate. He sees the paediatrician yearly and everything we go he has dropped more things.

But, he is due next week (6month review) and he has tried some things, mainly what he had dropped but even so. He even asked for a cheese sandwich in his lunch box. This is quite a surprise as he has never (even as a baby) really eaten bread.

twosoups1972 · 03/09/2019 12:51

I heard this story this morning, so sad.

My dd also suffers from ARFID, she is 16 now and not showing any signs of getting better. Her diet thankfully isn't as bad as this boy's though - she eats chicken/salmon/cheese for protein along with bread/rice/pasta/cereals. Very little by way of fruit and vegetables other than juice and Innocent smoothies. I worry terribly about her and she is getting increasingly worried about her diet. She takes a multi vitamin tablet so I only hope and pray her diet is ok.

berlinbabylon · 03/09/2019 12:52

*How do you suggest they get the vitamins into him? He would be unlikely to eat or chew them.

I suppose an odourless or colour free vitamin drop in water might work. That's if he drank much*

On the assumption that he had to drink something (although I note the comment of a pp who said they only drank milky drinks) I would have thought soluble multivitamins would have worked. I have one every day, dissolved in water, it's quite a pleasant taste. I have the Sainsburys one but there are loads to choose from.

Myriade · 03/09/2019 12:54

That teenager is 17yo, nearly an adult.
If HE had decided that he wasn’t going to take the vitB12 supplements or whatever else, then it was HIS decision.

Personally, the idea that parents should shut up and let their child decide what is best for their health (I think from 14yo - at least that the age from which I’m not allowed as a parent to have access to my own dc medical record/test results etc...) is mind boggling.
But as this is the ‘rule’, if that teenager had decided not to have the treatment, there is nothing that the parents could have done unfortunately.

Sirzy · 03/09/2019 12:55

Ds can taste anything added to his food or drinks. As he dislikes chocolate I think that his idea of pleasant differs greatly from the norm!

Myriade · 03/09/2019 12:55

Errr... it is extremely unethical to force someone to take any medication without their consent.
That boy was over the age from which HE is responsible for his health and to take the medication or not. Hiding the vitamins would have be a big fat No-No.

Mrsjayy · 03/09/2019 12:56

1 of my dcwas a terrible eater im talking biege food thankfully as an adult their diet is varied but even at 17 it was limited it isn't as simple as getting a smoothie down them it is bloody hard.

Woodlandwitch · 03/09/2019 13:05

I’m surprised they weren’t giving vitamin supplements if they knew he wouldn’t eat anything healthy

Tonnerre · 03/09/2019 13:07

it wasn’t easy and my Mum had to fight like crazy for treatment

How do you know these parents didn't "fight like crazy"? Unfortunately, however, that all too often leaves parents fighting against a brick wall.

Why bother seeking help at all if you aren’t then going to follow through with treatment?

What's your suggestion when a teenager won't take the treatment? Force feeding?

Aprillygirl · 03/09/2019 13:07

You are clearly doing the best for your child TeamUnicorn and I can imagine it must be awful to really want to, but not be able to nourish your child properly. I don't think people should give OP too much of a hard time for her post though, as sadly there are parents out there who really don't give a shit about what their kids are eating. I hope things improve for you and your DS Flowers

Mrsjayy · 03/09/2019 13:08

He was given supplements when he was 14 by a Dr it seems he didn't take them.

Mrsjayy · 03/09/2019 13:09

Sorry that was a reply to woodlandwitch

Sleepyblueocean · 03/09/2019 13:09

Even if someone does not have the capacity to make decisions like this for themselves, their are still things you can't physically make them do ( or not without sedating them first).

drspouse · 03/09/2019 13:14

Once a food is a safe food I imagine its texture will be tolerated - new foods will always vary even slightly in their texture.
There ARE vitamin drops that can be put in different kinds of drinks (though I remember that some aren't successful in water or juice, only in milk) and if he took them when he was younger it's probably more likely to be a resistance issue than a texture issue.
It should have been possible to get him to take them somehow (bribery or using a favoured adult rather than forcing him, at his age). While he is old enough theoretically to refuse treatment he isn't old enough to understand the consequences.

MarieG10 · 03/09/2019 13:14

This reply has been deleted

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Aisforharlot · 03/09/2019 13:16

Those of you who see us parents with restricted eaters and make ‘helpful’ suggestions can seriously gtf.
Do you think we don’t know what fucking vitamins are? Do you think we don’t know, in theory, how to offer a balanced diet?
Some children really will starve themselves.
Mine has been under a dietitian who was about as useful as a wet sock.
‘Offer smoothies! Hide veg in sauces!’ Yeah, genius. Thanks.

Sirzy · 03/09/2019 13:18

I had a conversation with a dietican once whereby it was discussed that for ds butter and milk are both big no nos. Make him feel sick just seeing them.

In the same conversation she suggested adding butter or milk to mash (one of his then safe foods) since that day he has refused mash because now he doesn’t see it as safe

Pikapikachooo · 03/09/2019 13:22

A very uncharitable post

Given the many GP visits his parents tried

A cautionary and awful take
For sure

WellTidy · 03/09/2019 13:22

DS has ARFID. He hasn’t always had it, there was a time when he ate a very varied diet, anywhere, off any plate, at any time, tolerating others doing the same.

When I spoke to a professional about it last, she said that one of her clients was someone who would only eat chocolate yoghurt, naked, in the bath, in the dark.

It can be that severe.

Please don’t judge.

Punxsutawney · 03/09/2019 13:23

Ds is 15 and will probably be diagnosed with ASD in the next couple of months (he has been assessed just waiting for review appointment). We have huge eating issues with him. He has a very limited diet and has recently started to also restrict his food intake too. Thankfully recent blood tests have shown he is not deficient in anything.

Having talked to another health professional in the last couple of weeks we are hoping that his consultant may be able to refer him to someone that can help him and us. I worry constantly that we are judged for some of the issues his autism causes. We always try very hard and absolutely want the best for him but it can be very difficult at times.

Woodlandwitch · 03/09/2019 13:24

@Aisforharlot I don’t think people are making suggestions to be unkind

It’s shocking to see someone can go blind and deaf from a bad diet so if someone says that vitamins don’t work, hiding veg in sauces doesn’t work, feeding smoothies don’t work, then what else will you be able to do before you have the same happen?

It can’t be a case of ‘my child just wont’. If the risk is they eat something healthy occasionally or go blind then they need to be forced to, just like other eating disorders where people are forced to eat food because they refuse