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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be embarrassed about a comment I made in new job?

45 replies

Itsfineactually · 02/09/2019 20:18

I am probably being massively over sensitive and need you to tell me IABU unless I am not! Wink

I started a new job today, there are 8 new starters, at the end of the day our boss sat us down for an debrief of 1st day. She seems lovely so far.

She asked us a question about how our day has gone. A highlight! Everyone was coming out with similar stuff like meeting the friendly team, how lovely it all is and stuff so I was trying to think of something different to say so I commented on their ethos and how pleased I was that I felt I matched it as my last job wanted me to do such and such.
But then my boss replied in a jokey voice that she hoped I could do such and such here too!

I just wanted to be swallowed up! My response had nothing to do with what she was asking Blush I’m at home going over it in my head and feel stupid now.

Am I being totally stupid and hard on myself? Or have I made a small impression on them all that I’m a bit weird?!

OP posts:
Shadow1986 · 02/09/2019 20:23

This is me. I always come out with the wrong thing when I’m put on the spot, I doubt they’ve given it a second thought so please try and forget it. And if and that’s a big IF they have thought about it and have a wrong impression of you, then you have plenty of opportunity to change that impression going forward so stop worrying and concentrate on making a better impression going forward!

Original poster
Itsfineactually · 02/09/2019 20:36

I’m glad it’s not just me! Smile

I think with it being a new job I’m excited but really sensitive making the right impression. I’m pressuring myself I think and not being natural

OP posts:
Shadow1986 · 02/09/2019 20:42

I guarantee all the new starters are probably analysing things they have said and done today, not just you. Tomorrow is a new day!

MistyMinge2 · 02/09/2019 20:47

I do this, go over and over things I've said in situations where I was nervous or put on the spot. What's done is done and I very much doubt anyone gave it any further thought. Please don't worry about it.

BumbleBeee69 · 02/09/2019 20:59

don't over think it OP, breeze it tomorrow Grin

ISmellBabies · 02/09/2019 21:05

Don't even give it a second thought, everyone else will be too busy overanalysing their own contributions to even think about yours. Everyone made some positive noises so boss will be happy and relieved there were no disasters. It's a total non issue, honestly, really don't worry.

formerbabe · 02/09/2019 21:09

It's always helpful to remember that whilst we over analyse everything we say, most people are so consumed with their own lives, they will have forgotten it by now.

RainbowsandSnowdrops · 02/09/2019 21:12

I am literally the most awkward person when it comes to stuff like this and always say the wrong thing. Especially if I’m around people I don’t know!

Like a PP has said, I doubt anyone has even noticed so don’t give it much thought. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that people are usually too focused on themselves and their own anxieties to think about the little things everyone else does.

raspberryk · 02/09/2019 21:13

I think it depends what you said.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 02/09/2019 21:16

I’m a lecturer, and at the end of last week asked my new first year tutorial group to write down three useful things they had learned, then asked each person to share one of the things. One person said he had learned not to go to the big student drinks night at a particular nightclub on a Wednesday, and another said that Greggs had better/cheaper bacon rolls than in the student canteen.

It made me laugh, and also gave me an idea of their personalities which can take a wee while when you meet lots of new people at once.

Don’t give it another thought, OP.

Dec2019mumtobe · 02/09/2019 21:34

"This is me. I always come out with the wrong thing when I’m put on the spot."

Oh god, me too!!!

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 02/09/2019 21:35

Don't dwell on it - no one else will be.

IncrediblySadToo · 02/09/2019 21:49

Hi

I’m surprised by the replies you’ve had. I think it depends what you actually said tbh

CorBlimeyGovenor · 02/09/2019 22:40

I wouldn't worry about it. My first day in a new job, I was introduced to the director. I was so nervous as he grasped my hand that I told him that " it was a pleasure to bite him!!" I meant 'meet' him. To this day I do not know how those words came out if my mouth!!

fedup21 · 02/09/2019 22:44

I think it depends on what you said exactly?!

WhyBirdStop · 02/09/2019 22:45

Surely it depends what 'such and such' is. If you said, my old place expected me to work late to meet deadlines or so things outside of my usual role and you're glad they haven't mentioned that, it wouldn't go down well with me, with a new recruit and I would be keeping a closer eye on them. If you said you like the ethos and no one has mentioned retro jumper Friday like they had at your old place, for which you are grateful, your boss was probably making a joke.

Luaa · 02/09/2019 22:51

I also think it depends what you said.

ashtrayheart · 02/09/2019 23:09

More details please OP!

ItsGoingTibiaK · 02/09/2019 23:27

Was it "I'm so pleased about the ethos here, because my last place expected me to turn up on time every day and do my job for eight hours, ha ha ha!" ? ;-)

Original poster
Itsfineactually · 03/09/2019 06:16

Thanks everyone! Sorry, I fell asleep! Busy first day 🤣

So it’s a school specialising in challenging behaviour. The head was talking about how to build positive relationships and that here they keep calm, don’t escalate situations, firm but fair and don’t believe in shouting, no one shouts.

So I picked up on that as I’m not a shouter and said that I was pleased with this as in my training I was expected to shout to show authority and it made me uncomfortable.
So she joked that, well I hope you’re not too quiet and you can actually be heard! 😬

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 03/09/2019 06:20

Ok that’s fine. You haven’t said anything stupid!

YoTheGinPussyOfStMawesOnThigh · 03/09/2019 06:30

If I was your new boss I would be very pleased with your answer. You have shown you have good listening skills and are remembering what is important.

Original poster
Itsfineactually · 03/09/2019 06:32

Thanks! Think I am massively over thinking this and just cringing in my head 😬

OP posts:
pictish · 03/09/2019 06:39

You’re fine! That’s a perfectly acceptable comment to make.
You’re anxious because of the new role and overanalysing what you said. I do this too...but this is ok. Don’t worry.

P.s I work in a school for children with additional support needs and behavioural issues myself. What you said wasn’t stupid or inappropriate at all. Xx

Chimchar · 03/09/2019 06:40

You're absolutely fine...really, don't give it a second thought.
I work in a very similar setting...we really don't do shouting. You're all good!

I hope today is a good day. It's a brilliant area to work in. Tough, sometimes challenging, but so rewarding, and generally relationships with staff and pupils are good. (BrewBiscuit for break time! )

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