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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be embarrassed about a comment I made in new job?

45 replies

Itsfineactually · 02/09/2019 20:18

I am probably being massively over sensitive and need you to tell me IABU unless I am not! Wink

I started a new job today, there are 8 new starters, at the end of the day our boss sat us down for an debrief of 1st day. She seems lovely so far.

She asked us a question about how our day has gone. A highlight! Everyone was coming out with similar stuff like meeting the friendly team, how lovely it all is and stuff so I was trying to think of something different to say so I commented on their ethos and how pleased I was that I felt I matched it as my last job wanted me to do such and such.
But then my boss replied in a jokey voice that she hoped I could do such and such here too!

I just wanted to be swallowed up! My response had nothing to do with what she was asking Blush I’m at home going over it in my head and feel stupid now.

Am I being totally stupid and hard on myself? Or have I made a small impression on them all that I’m a bit weird?!

OP posts:
Kubo · 03/09/2019 06:40

Your boss is probably cringing that she tried a joke with the promising new starter and it came out wrong

Northernsoullover · 03/09/2019 06:44

Go in, smile and don't mention it again.

NorbertHerbertGruntfuttock · 03/09/2019 06:45

We call it a 'Martine moment' Like the scene in 'Love Actually' when she mis-speaks in front of the PM.

We've all done it. Go grey rock for a few days and they'll all forget it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/09/2019 06:47

Not wanting to shout sounds fine.

OneStepSideways · 03/09/2019 06:57

In one of my new jobs my manager asked me where I lived in front of the team (I'd moved for the job) and I told her I'd moved to a really dodgy area called (insert local slang name for dodgy area) against the estate agent's advice, as it was cheap and a few mins to walk to work. Cue shocked looks and lots of 'oh the agent was having you on, it's a great area' then manager whispered to me some of my colleagues live there too! Mortified 🙈

CarolineKate · 03/09/2019 07:00

@kubo this is what I was going to say!!

AJPTaylor · 03/09/2019 07:02

I always call this the buttock clencher moment. I can find something innocuous I have said, often to someone in authority and run it over and over again.
What you said sounds fine and at least was different from the others.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 03/09/2019 07:12

What you said was great. The heads response was a bit jokey and ill thought out.

Original poster
Itsfineactually · 03/09/2019 07:29

Haha! Thank you 😀

I’m glad I’m not the only one who does this. I totally know I’m over analysing it all but 1st impressions do still apparently 😬

I think i worried as it probably wasn’t an answer she was expecting when asking what is the highlight of your day 🤣

Everyone has been lovely and it looks like it’ll be a great school to work at! Although not met the kids yet 🙈

OP posts:
MrsEricBana · 03/09/2019 07:38

Oh don't worry, I think it was a good answer! Hope it goes well today.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 03/09/2019 08:03

Eh, you're over thinking it OP, she probably didn't even think anything of it.

If it makes you feel better, I recently had an unfortunate incident with the chairman of my firm, where I inadvertently called him a hottie. To his face. I've known the guy for years, but I've never been quite that, er, "informal" with him. And he really isn't a hottie, either.

Mummadeeze · 03/09/2019 08:11

I am new too and have been cringing for the first three weeks at my contribution in meetings because I was so knowledgeable in my old job but feel like I am winging it a bit at the moment. I will get there and so will you. We are hard on ourselves because we care and that will see us through in the end. Best of luck with it. Being new is tough. I hate it!

ashtrayheart · 03/09/2019 08:31

Ah that was fine OP, if anything the boss's joke fell a bit flat I think!

Ohyesiam · 03/09/2019 08:37

Actually I think that’s really good answer. It’s really important that staff feel comfortable with the ethos.
I think the head was just being lighthearted.

GammaStingRay · 03/09/2019 08:47

Oh, that’s fine. Your OP made it sound very different, like you’d said ‘I’m glad here I won’t have to answer telephone calls, they expected me to do that in my last job’ and got ‘oh, well I’m hoping you’ll be answering calls here too’ from your boss.

But what you actually said, and how she responded, is totally fine!

NoSauce · 03/09/2019 08:52

It’s fine OP, honestly it wasn’t a bad thing to say. Hope you have a great second day!

Cheeseandwin5 · 03/09/2019 09:02

I wouldnt worry about it either, you will say things and make many mistakes as your working life goes on. its all a learning process.
If you do your best and do the littler things well It will be fine

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 03/09/2019 11:52

Christmas dinner, everyone sat with anyone, next to me was the Brigadier, chief of staff, head of infantry, quite the big cheese, dressed in mufti. I'd only been there a few weeks, hadn't seen him about as he was busy doing important army stuff. I soooo nearly asked him what department he was in! I cringe at it still now!

Original poster
Itsfineactually · 03/09/2019 17:19

Yes @Mummadeeze I hate being new too! On my training over the past year I have been new at 2 places, and new this year too. It makes me not want to leave Smile

OP posts:
Mummadeeze · 03/09/2019 17:34

I totally agree! I have been thinking I will stay in my new place of work forever as I don’t want to go through this stress again! But then you forget how hard it is in the beginning and just get excited by new opportunities so end up going through it all again. Am on Week 4 this week and it is definitely improving. Hope today went well :)

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