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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why there are so many scruffy people these days

648 replies

Quirrelsotherface · 02/09/2019 18:06

I've been looking through old photographs lately, from the 20's through to 60's probably, my grandparents era. What I absolutely couldn't get over was the amount of people who were so well dressed back then! There were group photos, photos of streets with lots of people in the background and to be honest, I couldn't really pick a scruffy looking one out of any of them. Not particularly affluent areas, just everyday public. The clothes, though, look expensive and well cut, the men in hats and the women with beautiful haircuts. Beautiful coats and shoes.

Why then, these days do we not have this pride in appearance that they had back then? Walk out now in any town and smart people are really in the minority.

AIBU to wonder why this is?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Alsohuman · 03/09/2019 07:44

Leggings come in a variety of thicknesses, even Primark stock substantial ones.

proudestofmums · 03/09/2019 07:46

I cannot stand the fashion for ripped jeans - it seems so offensive to people who really couldn’t afford undamaged clothes.

And slightly at a tangent - I’ve often noticed how very rare skirts are - I’m often the only person in sight wearing a skirt rather than jeans/trousers etc

Greyhound22 · 03/09/2019 08:02

I agree OP. However unpopular our opinion I do think people look like slobs nowadays.

Where I work the local town is full of people shopping in their pyjamas and 'trackies' I think sports wear as normal day wear has a lot to answer for.

Cheap shiny clothes and people can't seemingly be bothered to have a wash and brush their hair in a morning. I saw a girl the other day get out of the car with her dad - I'd never seen anything like her birds nest hair and thought 'as if you would let her come out like that'.

I'm very torn sometimes between it not being my business (it isn't) and people being able to wear what they want and wishing people would make a bit more effort and have a bit more respect for themselves.

PookieDo · 03/09/2019 08:06

Why would I want to wear a skirt? What are you doing all day in a skirt? At work I may be sitting down (on an itchy office chair) but a skirt is completely impractical for a lot of modern women. I don’t know what lives other people seem to be leading, are a lot of you in a version of Sex and the City? Do you brunch a lot with your pals?

There is so much snobbery on here it has made me feel really sorry for a lot of the young mums being talked about here who are probably struggling on universal credit and buy the £4 leggings from primark because that is what they can afford. I have thick leggings/treggings and they were £20 and they are too hot to wear in summer and take ages to dry. If you have small kids and wash your leggings every day you wouldn’t buy ones that cost £20 a pair would you?

I don’t see anyone bitching about what MEN look like on the school run

Or actually much about men at all

It’s all about women’s clothes and women’s make up. It’s a really nasty thread

PookieDo · 03/09/2019 08:09

Re the eyebrows: I was a teenager in 90’s and everyone had ridiculous pencil thin one line of hair eyebrows

They looked bloody shit. The thick ones don’t bother me as I have naturally thick big eyebrows. It is not natural to have one line of eyebrow hairs anymore than it is to have big drawn on ones. I gather everyone on this thread has perfect natural brows too?

Skinnychip · 03/09/2019 08:17

After reading this thread I've just made DS take off his school uniform so i can iron it!!

GammaStingRay · 03/09/2019 08:21

proudestofmums

And slightly at a tangent - I’ve often noticed how very rare skirts are - I’m often the only person in sight wearing a skirt rather than jeans/trousers etc

Are you using skirt as a shorthand for skirts and dresses? I see plenty of women in dresses but not many in skirts! I probably wear dresses at least half of the week, if not more, and actually find it easier to look well put together wearing dresses as it’s just one item to throw on and accessorise rather than a skirt and top. I’m a pretty slim, standard body shape usually, size 10, and I find it hard to find skirts that go with a lot of different tops that don’t make me look a bit lumpy and bumpy around the hips. Whereas dresses tend to skim a lot better imo. I’m a fan of the tea dress shape or skater. With tights or leggings and boots, or in summer bare legs and flats.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 03/09/2019 08:24

@helacells Can you believe I've had to tell the interns in our office to wear bras

No, I can’t believe that in 2019 someone would actually feel that they have the right to tell another woman whether or not to wear a bra. As long as she’s decent (ie boobs not on show) then whether or not she’s wearing a bra is none of your bloody business. I bet you’re an absolute joy To work for with that attitude towards policing other people’s clothing.

GammaStingRay · 03/09/2019 08:24

I’ve noticed obvious lip colour is quite rare to see these days too unless it’s on teenagers/early twenties women.

I know teen women get a lot of flack for the insta style makeup where it’s obvious they’re wearing a lot, contour and foundation and highlight and brows etc before you even get started on eyes and lips. But personally I think it’s really nice to see the effort some of them have gone to, it’s obvious they’ve spent a lot of time learning techniques and practicing and some of them have such amazing makeup just walking around shopping! People judge and say ‘urgh, foundation that’s so obvious you can’t see any skin underneath’ and make snide comments but they’re missing that it’s definitely a specific ‘look’ they’re aiming for and achieving, they’re not pretending to be doing natural makeup or wearing nothing. It’s a statement even if it’s not one everyone would personally choose to wear or be able to pull off.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 03/09/2019 08:25

I cannot stand the fashion for ripped jeans - it seems so offensive to people who really couldn’t afford undamaged clothes.

Get a fucking grip.

Alsohuman · 03/09/2019 08:29

Get out of bed the wrong side this morning @BrightYellowDaffodil?

GammaStingRay · 03/09/2019 08:29

This is an interesting thread btw, thanks OP. Though it’s derailed into more discussing modern day fashions as well as the original topic. It is noticeable wandering around places these days how many people there are who look or smell grubby, dirty clothes, hugely overweight, unbrushed or greasy hair. I wonder whether there is actually a huge difference in how people present themselves now compared to in the past or whether we’re just looking through rose tinted glasses and by relying on photographs not seeing the many people back then who were the same. I suspect the latter. But people’s access to sanitation is better now, clothes and hygiene products have never been cheaper or more readily accessible.

GammaStingRay · 03/09/2019 08:30

I cannot stand the fashion for ripped jeans - it seems so offensive to people who really couldn’t afford undamaged clothes.

This made me chuckle. I’m assuming it’s tongue in cheek!

IrmaFayLear · 03/09/2019 08:39

Two places where you really notice the difference in "presentation" is air travel and cruises. People used to dress up to travel on a plane. Now it's mass market people's standards are terrible . Posters can go on all they like about "comfort" but when I see adults boarding a plane in their pyjamas (yes, really, to Florida) I really did have a fit of the vapours.

I have never been on a cruise, but see the passengers massing to get on the cruise liners near where I live. Their attire is grim. I suppose to get the evening dress experience you have to fork out for the Queen Mary or some such. General cruises now appear to be Torremolinos on Sea.

HermittaHobbe · 03/09/2019 08:46

But personally I think it’s really nice to see the effort some of them have gone to, it’s obvious they’ve spent a lot of time learning techniques and practicing and some of them have such amazing makeup just walking around shopping!

I don't find that amazing, it's a bit saddening to me. Those girls have spent hours of their every days/lives altering their faces, even to go to the shops. I wish they didn't think their own actual face was 'scruffy'or too ugly to go out without plastering over first.

I also can't believe the lamenting over skirts either. Are we all ladies who lunch and secretaries again? I may be on the porky side but I am very active in my day to day life. A skirt or dress would be ridiculously impractical.

It seems to be a form of snobbery, with everyone looking down on the other. People who think 'at least I make an effort' are probably still being looked on as scruffy because they buy supermarket clothes.

And all the faux horror at being made to look at these fat/poor people in cheap poor fitting clothes. You aren't kidding anyone.

At least they aren't contributing to the mountain of cheap fashion waste!

I'm quite glad we seem to be getting to a time where less women have to waste hours of their life making thier natural self 'presentable'. I just don't see why a person who is clean/doesn't smell is found offensive to anyone. Look away if it offend your sensibilities so much?

GammaStingRay · 03/09/2019 08:56

I don't find that amazing, it's a bit saddening to me. Those girls have spent hours of their every days/lives altering their faces, even to go to the shops. I wish they didn't think their own actual face was 'scruffy'or too ugly to go out without plastering over first

To be fair you have absolutely nothing to back that last sentence up with, you’re implying that every young woman you see out wearing makeup is doing so because they’re too self conscious about their natural face to be able to bear showing it. How have you reached that conclusion?

I wear makeup daily, a lot usually, because I enjoy it, it’s fun, it’s an outlet for creativity I can easily fit into my day to day life. I treat it somewhat as a hobby at times, watching tutorials and trying new looks and even enjoy reading reviews of products. At other times I go off it and don’t bother with much more than a few basics. I have no self consciousness about my natural face whatsoever and will happily go out to the shops or to see friends without makeup on if I’m rushing or just cba. I feel I look, to my own tastes, better with makeup. But I don’t think I look anything less than fine without it.

There’s so much judgment against young women who are interested in and passionate about makeup from people who assume it’s all a front to cover up low self esteem. Maybe they find it fun and a distraction from other things or get pleasure from it. Maybe they’re thinking of turning it into a career. Either way why does it bother you?

I try not to be judgmental about other people’s hobbies unless they’re hurting someone: I don’t personally see the appeal of sports or watching football but I don’t judge teenage boys for enjoying it or think it’s ‘saddening’ that they’re doing that rather than something else I may personally approve of more.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 03/09/2019 09:00

On a typical Sunday, I'll turn up in church with the children and I in running gear... it's because we go to the junior parkrun first and just have time to complete it then attend church. No time to go home and change first. I think it would be a pretty lousy Christian who would rather I didn't volunteer most Sunday mornings for the benefit of the community over my sartorial choices based on starting the day in an exposed field. I'm sure God will forgive me Wink

I do enjoy dressing up but find very little opportunity to do it, not that I have much social life at present anyway. On a rare night out, I feel a bit lost about what to wear as the standard seems to be one extreme or the other. I'm happy to actually go to the effort of actually putting make-up including some tinted moisturiser on at night, but I'm not into the heavily made-up slug eyebrows and war paint contouring at all, and I physically can't teeter around in sky scraper heels, so that look is out. The rest of town is dressed very casually in clothes that would have had them barred entry in most but the roughest venues 15-20 years ago. DM regularly bemoans that I don't dress up, but there simply isn't the reason to and I don't go to places like the theatre or nicer restaurants to do it, and I'm past the wedding stage with everyone now happily married or divorced Grin

In the daytime it's practicality that drives me. I do wear running clothes a lot, quality gear to actually run in rather than just a casual tracksuity look. Mainly because on an average day it's comfortable and practical for the school run on foot, house work etc before I go for my run. I'll probably finish the day in jeans/ dungarees/ harem pants because it's then easy to change my top for Guiding/ Scouting uniform. I used to wear skirts and dresses much more until I had two lively sons and hit the toddler years of dashing off on sprints at random after them. My smarter clothes hang dusting away in the wardrobe waiting for special occasions and possibly a return to work.

So why is society more casual?

Because we can.

Because it's comfortable and practical.

People don't feel the need to prove a social point through clothing in the same way. Status symbols are cars and mobile phones not necessarily your level of grooming. Being smart can often be the sign of a low level conformist job now, better paid intellectual work had shucked the ties and jackets. DH only meets a client in a suit once, then they progressively dress down to shirt and trousers. Creative industries reflect that in individual clothing.

Most high street fashion is cheaper, stretchy fabrics unless you spend major £££.

People own a larger range of cheaper one-size fits all type stuff or rather one cut. The clothing simply isn't worth customising for better fit (particularly for fabric strength and quality). Loss of personal skills/ time to customise and make clothing.

Generally speaking, if an item of clothing is designed and cut to size 10, at the smaller sizes, the range of fit for different body shapes is more forgiving than when the garment is upsized into plus sizes. It is a greater challenge for a size 18+ woman to pick up a high street item and find it is well cut for her individual body shape. I am not criticising individuals at all, and the best dressed plus size women have had to put more effort into finding the right branding and cut to flatter them. A size 10 can get away with much more laziness.

Because lives are busy spending more time rushing around from one place to another outside the house, not dressed specifically to one activity. Fabrics don't have to be tough enough to withstand the wear and tear of manual work; trades people wear specific items.

Central heating means we don't want to be wearing multiple layers of under garments and protecting our garments with house coats.

I'll stick with the 21st century thanks!

Quirrelsotherface · 03/09/2019 09:00

No, I can’t believe that in 2019 someone would actually feel that they have the right to tell another woman whether or not to wear a bra. As long as she’s decent (ie boobs not on show) then whether or not she’s wearing a bra is none of your bloody business. I bet you’re an absolute joy To work for with that attitude towards policing other people’s clothing

Wow, you actually think it's appropriate to go without underwear in a work setting?! Boobs and nipples visible through a top or blouse?
People need to take pride in themselves firstly but yes, it is also for others. Looking at a fat, uncovered arse, hairy beer belly, arse cheeks hanging out of shorts or someone's boobs through a blouse - don't want to see it thanks very much! And you shouldn't want the world to see it either.

OP posts:
PoffleWaffleWoo · 03/09/2019 09:00

You need to get a life op.

PookieDo · 03/09/2019 09:01

Make up is an artful skill. I also wear make up most days. I don’t hate my face but I do have something on it I like to cover up.

I feel really sad at how this thread is all aimed and women taking down other women’s free choice, in the tone of regretting that we no longer live in an oppressive class divided mysoginistic society
You need to get to spec savers to get those rose tinted glasses changed

Quirrelsotherface · 03/09/2019 09:01

How many times do we have to say.. it isn't about the fashions of that time, the gloves etc..but about being smart and taking pride in your appearance.

OP posts:
IrmaFayLear · 03/09/2019 09:02

Who said it was all about women? Or even money?

Some of the scruffiest people I have seen are at the advance screenings at the cinema. These are 30-something males. Very overweight, smelly, greasy, clad in jogging bottoms and mainlining stinky food. Dh enjoys these screenings but I can't go any more. These men are neither poor nor female (!)

bonbonours · 03/09/2019 09:06

It's just different times, different expectations. I recently saw a picture of my grandad on the beach in a shirt and tie 😊
I do think sometimes it's gone too far now when people will just wear jeans to a party. If you're always casual it's boring. Surely it's nicer to wear casual clothes for casual occasions and then dress up for other occasions. I love the chance to dress up as I don't do it much.

nononever · 03/09/2019 09:06

I suspect that people used to have two wardrobes: going outside clothes and at home clothes.

I still do! I'm a much maligned (on here) SAHW and on the days when I know I'm at home all day I wear leggings and t-shirts. I wouldn't go out wearing leggings unless they were for the gym or exercising. I would never wear leggings under a dress, thick tights in winter yes, but never leggings.

PookieDo · 03/09/2019 09:06

@IrmaFayLear

Because suddenly since I pointed out that this was all about women you have now made a comment about men

This thread is 90% about judgment of what women wear