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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why there are so many scruffy people these days

648 replies

Quirrelsotherface · 02/09/2019 18:06

I've been looking through old photographs lately, from the 20's through to 60's probably, my grandparents era. What I absolutely couldn't get over was the amount of people who were so well dressed back then! There were group photos, photos of streets with lots of people in the background and to be honest, I couldn't really pick a scruffy looking one out of any of them. Not particularly affluent areas, just everyday public. The clothes, though, look expensive and well cut, the men in hats and the women with beautiful haircuts. Beautiful coats and shoes.

Why then, these days do we not have this pride in appearance that they had back then? Walk out now in any town and smart people are really in the minority.

AIBU to wonder why this is?

OP posts:
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9
HermittaHobbe · 02/09/2019 23:38

Quite frankly I don't have the time/money/inclination to fret over what I'm wearing. If it is comfortable and not dirty it goes on.

Why would I care what anyone else thinks I look like? Are we supposed to dress to suit just you or everyone else on the planet? Doubt I could find an outfit even a minority would approve of.

Disclaimer- I'm fat and have autism. The same people that would judge me on how 'put together' I look would most likely judge me on one/both of those other things anyway.

I see no point in trying to impress a stranger who should be too busy with their own life to notice me.

And am I fuck tattooing my face/eyebrows or ripping them out with a variety of contraptions. This is my face, I'm not hurting myself in the hopes others will like it more.

Sorry, maybe a little sensitive on this at the moment. Dsis has been trying to 'beautify' me up in some misguided attempt to improve how people react to me. She's very nice so I haven't told her to fuck off yet, but I do find the idea offensive.

If someone was avoiding/disliked me because of my eyebrows/not being in fashionable clothes, but would like me if I changed those things, then I'm not interesting in knowing them.

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 02/09/2019 23:39

@AE18 because the whole post is about people dressing with a bit of effort - dressing so I can see the pattern on your knickers through your leggings is not making an effort!

Venger · 02/09/2019 23:40

they can manage Botox and microbladed scouse brows, am sure they can manage some decent trousers. Cheap ugh boots are awful, they go saggy after a week - especially when worn in the rain. I know these people, it's choice not necessity

But its their choice and in no way impacts negatively on you so why are you bothered?

AE18 · 02/09/2019 23:40

@SheSaidNoFuckThat

Yes that's my point, why do you feel that strangers need to make an effort for you?

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 02/09/2019 23:44

@AE18 it's not for me, people need to have some pride in themselves!

Kaddm · 02/09/2019 23:44

I like to be comfortable. I prioritise that over the opinion of random strangers. I enjoy whatever I am going to do and don’t waste time messing with my hair/face. My hair is clean and brushed, my face is a natural human face. Anyone who doesn’t like my appearance isn’t worthy of my attention.

timshelthechoice · 02/09/2019 23:46

I don't wear makeup. EVERY single bit of it breaks out my skin. I can't even use cleansers or moisturisers at all, I just use water and a flannel. I like having clear skin better than makeup that gives me spots. Not really bothered if that makes me a 'scruff'.

bigfatmoggy · 02/09/2019 23:46

@amandacarnet I'm so glad I'm not alone.....! I even once turned a collar round on DHs favourite shirt, although that was before we were married.....Grin! And I tried to darn DDs tights when she started school, but that didn't last long..........

@AE18 I have no problems with people wearing cheap clothes, I have plenty myself alongside my better bits (although charity shops are also a great source of nice things) - but I'm sorry, see-through leggings should be covered by a long top! End of!

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 02/09/2019 23:47

@Venger for the same reason as the majority of this thread - people just don't give a shit anymore and I think it's a real shame. You can look smart without spending much these days, especially with most high street shops having constant sales

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 02/09/2019 23:51

@timshelthechoice I don't wear makeup everyday either, but people can still look smart without it, it is far from a necessity

AE18 · 02/09/2019 23:52

@SheSaidNoFuckThat

It is possible for people to have pride in themselves and like Ugg boots, you know. People just have different tastes, some prefer a more casual look.

Blueshadow · 02/09/2019 23:55

The moments I have had the most pride in myself are the moments I have looked at my worst - giving birth being one of the most obvious. I don’t think having a groomed appearance necessarily means someone does have any pride in themselves - it does show they care what impression they are giving, which could be for any number of reasons.
The British, generally, don’t tend to dress well, but no definite conclusions can be drawn as to why.

HermittaHobbe · 02/09/2019 23:55

SheSaidNoFuckThat I do have pride in myself.

I have pride in my academic ability, in trying to be kind and considerate and trying to help others, even strangers, as it doesn't come naturally. I take pride in many things.

But taking pride in the way others see you, because you've gone out of your way to hide 'flaws' or to look expensive (because lets face it, that is what is meant really) seems an utterly bizarre waste of time and way to measure yourself to me.

Each to their own I guess.

Time40 · 03/09/2019 00:01

i remeber her dressing more smartly than normal to go on a train journey

Oh dear ... I still do that!

Venger · 03/09/2019 00:04

I have plenty of pride in myself but it's based on my achievements rather than what I'm wearing, I don't measure my self-worth against how I look.

Nanny0gg · 03/09/2019 00:06

I do look at films from the 30s/40s/50s and wish that going out to dinner today could be as glamorous. Beautiful gowns and jewellery

I also remember as a child of the 50s/60s dressing up when we flew on holiday. Everyone thought that was special so wore their best.

Alsohuman · 03/09/2019 00:10

Cheap leggings don’t have to be transparent. Some of the best ones I’ve got were about a tenner in Matalan. It’s sad to see that people don’t care about their appearance to the point where looking uncared for is a point of pride.

nildesparandum · 03/09/2019 00:12

My dad got dressed up for his daily visit to the pub.
By that I mean suit shirt and tie and polished shoes.He might have come home worse for wear but he had his suit on and to him that was all that mattered.

kateandme · 03/09/2019 00:19

i think we all ned to judge people less.its natural as a human to do that quick judge fleeting thought,but i think evryone nds to try hardr to make it jsut that.fleeting. beause there are so many different people with so many diffrent things going on you never really no a person down to looks.
yes there are those that what they wear can be a clue to their character.but so often not.

FreddyFazbear · 03/09/2019 00:37

I'm 52 and remember my boyfriend being refused entry to a disco (yes, I know!) during the mid eighties because he wasn't wearing a tie - which, ironically, was unusual for him. Am in NI though, so not sure if it was just the usual sort of Ballygobackwards thing where we're a decade or two behind the rest of the UK.

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 03/09/2019 00:54

@HermittaHobbe it's not about expensive at all, cheap Ugg's are just a pet hate of mine as they always seem to collapse on themselves and the wearer ends up doing some weird shuffle/scrape walk.

I don't buy branded clothes, spent today head to toe in George from Asda, but I didn't look scruffy.

bigfatmoggy · 03/09/2019 01:05

Ha ha @FreddyFazbear yes I remember the 80s when you couldn't go to clubs in jeans or trainers, and usually needed a shirt and tie. Even the grim local smalltown club (only one in town) which closed at 1pm. They defined jeans as being any trousers with metal studs on the outsides (e.g. around pockets) so you could even get caught out with cords or moleskins.

I worked in a snooker club behind the bar and we wore black skirts, white shirts and black bow ties! Grin. Those were the days.......

feelingverylazytoday · 03/09/2019 01:06

SheSaidNo* you think you didn't look scruffy. Other people might think differently.
You know, like you don't like 'cheap uggs', some one elsd might think 'they look great'. I've had cheap uggs in the past, they didn't collapse at all and I could walk fine in them.
It's really just a matter of opinion at the end of the day.

helacells · 03/09/2019 01:06

You are right, most people look a bloody disgrace these days. Can you believe I've had to tell the interns in our office to wear bras and to stop wearing see through clothes! I wonder if they own a mirror? The PTA at school had to tell some of the Mums to stop dropping their kids off in their pajamas , I mean what the hell?!

bigfatmoggy · 03/09/2019 01:07

Sorry - it closed at 1 a.m. ........Grin