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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to make my 14 Yr old get his hair cut?

33 replies

HattieMcNastie · 02/09/2019 09:32

For school.

It's about 6 or 7 inches long. Curled slightly. It's like a mop. No shape. Hanging over his eyes and ears.

He refused when his dad took him and his siblings.

AIBU to take him today? He will get it cut if I tell him.

It really does look super scruffy.

Or is 14 old enough to decide himself?

OP posts:
user1468348545 · 02/09/2019 09:33

Could you compromise and say he doesnt have to have it all cut off but at least have it trimmed and smartened up?

Windydaysuponus · 02/09/2019 09:35

His hair keep out of it.....
Mn tell you to myob about body hair so head hair is def stfu territory imo...

Shittiestdayinalongtime · 02/09/2019 09:36

What's the school policy on hair?

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 02/09/2019 09:37

I would assume the school rules would require long hair to be neat and pulled off the face. So as long as its brushed and held back then the length of it is fine.

YWBU to force him to cut it off though. He's 14, not 4 and it's his choice.

Original poster
HattieMcNastie · 02/09/2019 09:37

But he's still a child attending school. They require a smart haircut as part of policy.

He most definitely does not look smart.

He can hardly see.

The bargaining of a trim was met with as much distain.

OP posts:
MojoMoon · 02/09/2019 09:37

He is definitely old enough to be in charge of his own hair (assuming not filthy and reeking) and a ridiculous hairstyle is normal for teenagers to have at some point.

Let him know you would be happy to pay for a cut if and when he wants it and just to let you know if he decides he does.

zzzzzzzz12345 · 02/09/2019 09:38

Of course he’s too old to do this. It’s his hAir! Kids have so many expectations placed in them these days, let him express himself through his hair if he wants to. What harm is it doing you?

Lay off completely and he’ll probably cut it himself. Hair is the ultimate rebellion.

MojoMoon · 02/09/2019 09:38

And if he is in trouble with school then he'll learn something from that and probably agree a cut makes sense.

Tumbleton · 02/09/2019 09:39

Remind him that he will need to tie it up (or at least tie the front part back) for science practicals, design technology, food tech etc. and say you'll be buying him some hairbands.

If he accepts that, leave him him to it. If he doesn't want to tie it back, remind him that the only other option is to get it cut.

elvis86 · 02/09/2019 09:42

Have you asked him why he doesn't want to get it cut?

Does he actively like it how it is? Or can he just not be bothered going?

recklessruby · 02/09/2019 09:47

His hair, his choice. Pick your battles at this age and hair isn't worth being one of them.
Our school will allow long hair on boys but it must be neat and off the face for food tech, science etc.
I d leave him to it and just wait for him to get sick of the remembering hairbands/extra washing and drying in the morning etc (knowing most teenage boys love their sleep!) And quietly offer to pay for a cut once he s fed up. Smile

user1493494961 · 02/09/2019 09:48

Let school deal with him.

Bouledeneige · 02/09/2019 09:49

I'd let him choose. I chose how my hair looked at 14 and was putting crazy colours in. At 14 not looking like a Mummy's boy probably matters quite a lot.

Wildthyme · 02/09/2019 09:49

Drag him screaming to the barbers if you desire, but no barber will cut your son's hair without his permission.

Angeldust747 · 02/09/2019 09:51

I'd leave it, DH had a haircut at that age where the hairdresser tried to give him a standard short cut despite him asking for it to be kept long and just trimmed and he walked out half way through with it looking a mess. He still remembers it now, so not worth the argument I think x

Bouffalant · 02/09/2019 09:52

If school don't have a problem with it i'd let him have it however he wants.

Beesandcheese · 02/09/2019 09:54

Probably not worth the fight today. Remind him of the uniform policy and that the offer to take him is there. Then it's on him I'd the school do the whole making an example thing. Not that schools should make these arbitrary choices, but once you've signed that learner agreement you're stuck with handing over that autonomy.

Mishappening · 02/09/2019 09:56

This really is a pick your battles situation. Leave him be.

If he is asked to tie it back or gets into some sort of trouble over it at school then it is down to him to deal with it in his own way.

Really; stand back on this one. As a mother of 3, I have been down this route with teenagers. One DD used to wear a mini-skirt to school and got into trouble over this - I left her to deal with it, but simply said that if she chose to get a longer skirt, I would happily pay for it.

Tell him that you are happy to pay for a haircut if that is what he wants; but if he wants it long then that is his choice. Tell him how splendid it looks! Tell him you respect his right to make his own choices.

Saddler · 02/09/2019 09:59

Make him have it cut or he'll potentially miss time schooling and have to have it cut anyway

PrincessHoneysuckle · 02/09/2019 10:05

I'd take him to get it cut,hes 14 not 24 and if he needs to look smart for school then it needs to be done

Penguincity · 02/09/2019 10:09

Leave it, my mother had a long running argument with my brother about his hair. She died young, and its one of both of ours strongest memories of her and not in a good way

Bubsworth · 02/09/2019 10:24

He's your child, and the school policy requires it, so get it cut.

Raphael34 · 02/09/2019 10:35

I’d make him get it cut if it were me. I’m all for children making their own choices, I wouldn’t dictate what style he got. But I refuse to send my children to school looking scruffy and unkempt.

TreacherousPissFlap · 02/09/2019 10:39

DS is the same, it's definitely a "pick your battles" type situation. TBH I've rarely seen DS so vehement about anything as he is about his hair.

Sadly his is thick and very very coarse and looks dreadful. I'm secretly praying that school will put their foot down as their policies are very strict Grin

GetUpAgain · 02/09/2019 10:41

If he likes it and wants it how it is, don't make him change it.

If he is a bit down and cba to take pride in himself and wants to shut himself away from the world wallowing in teenage angst I would probably give him a kindly kick up the arse pep talk that He Matters and is worth ferrying about for haircuts and fresh air, and you are taking him out of motherly love.