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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never eat out with my DP's family because of my emetophobia :(

53 replies

RedPurpleyBlue · 02/09/2019 05:41

I have a phobia of vomiting in front of people. I've had this for a long time and have been to counselling/therapy/tried mindfulness/been on medication from my GP and I've mostly got a grip of it now but one thing I still can't deal with very well is eating in social situations.

The only way I can explain this is imagine feeling very sick in a restaurant and then being handed a plate of food in front of you to put in your stomach. It's really tough for me and I know it sounds pathetic. I have actually vomited before from my emetophobia after forcing myself to eat which is always at the back of my mind because I know it might actually happen.

The few times I have gone to restaurants I've ended up barely eating and then people make comments about it. I worry about being judged by DPs family as I really want them to like me which makes the anxiety worse and so I just can't bring myself to go to family meals with them.

This fear ruins all-sorts, it stops me going on holidays as I know I'll probably have to eat out, work dos etc. Me and DP never go restaurants because of it. My family has kinda gotten used to it because I've been like this for a while but I'm 1 and a half years into a relationship with DP and we keep getting invited to family events/meals as you do and I keep turning it down as I keep thinking I'll end up throwing up infront of all them while they're trying to eat and embarrassing myself.

I asked DP to explain this to his family for me and he has but it means he often goes to these things without me and I feel like such an idiot and worry what they must think of me :(

It honestly gets me down so much because I know on the face value of it all to someone who does not understand I feel like I just seem like a weirdo and a bit rude.

OP posts:
Cosyjimjamsforautumn · 02/09/2019 13:13

I have emetophobia and it made my life a misery. Wouldnt get in crowded trains tubes, late night trains (incase a drunk throws up by me), and worst of all put off getting pregnant due to fear of morning sickness (DM gleefully told me of her 9 months of constant puking at every opportunity when i did eventually become pregnant). I was actually never sick at all when pregnant, but did have DC with reflux so got used to mopping up and became desensitized as i had to deal with it 🤢
Still not good if adults look green around the gills and would never get on a boat for fear of seasickness but much better than i used to be.

ourkidmolly · 02/09/2019 15:07

Deleted?
That is crazy. For saying that I'd be concerned my imaginary son might miss out on social events and holidays? Good grief.

lubeybooby · 02/09/2019 15:45

you can have CBT for emetophobia, worked wonders with my dd. I recommend treating the problem (also worth the cost privately though it is usually within 6 weeks on nhs) rather than missing out on things because of it.

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