AIBU to assume this is a scam text or is there an innocent explanation?

[Areyouthinkingtheworst]

Just saw this text on my partners phone. Is there any innocent explanation?

Thats a point. If id of gotten it in error i would of told my significant other straight away "oh thats weird look at this..." kind of thing.

@PeevedNiamh I am the same Luckily no dating sites so not causing issues like this.

I do have to ask. Why did you check his phone?

I get plenty of emails along the same lines despite not doing business with these companies.
It is a fairly simple email address, so assume people typo theirs.
I know all about one woman's banking history!

Were you checking his phone because you feel he's up to something?

There's the chance that someone else entered the wrong number when they've signed up but if that has been what's happened you'd think he'd have mentioned it.

I'm just asking if he has form or has given you reason to think he's cheating and you've been looking in phone for evidence because it's the type of thing that if I found innocently or by accident I'd question it straight away.

If he has signed up himself and isn't covering his tracks then his browsing history will show if he's been on the website. If he's the type of numpty to use the same email/username/password on everythin the. He could have used them to join, maybe attempting to log in on POF with his email may give a clue? Or resetting password I know some websites will say "there's no account with that email" if you attempt to reset and there's no account.

Personally I'd ask him and go by his reaction.

I get Ashley something or other advertising women on a dating site, have a log in sent etc. Assume some bloke had input number wrongly (probably the same one as was using my number for business calls about some re-financing deal a year or two ago) . Kept getting people call Darren back.

ok..so..is looking on his phone ..something he knows you do? say nothing..yet.(to him I mean) id definitely wobble ,if "revelation"whether cos suspected something OR utterly shocked. ...then go with your auto-gut reaction.

Thanks all, I never normally look on his phone, nor does he mine. For a start I can genuinely never remember the code/pattern to his non apple ones. Also there’s been no need to. I’d have thought he would have deleted it straight away if he was up to something but maybe he slipped up. He didn’t have many historical texts on his phone and I did check browsing history for the 17th but couldn’t see anything. Not sure if there’s a way to keep some sites private, I also put pof into the browser but nothing automatically came up. Couldn’t see any strange apps but I presume you can log in from a weblink. I know on my Apple there’s a privacy function for something which keeps some websites private. I did all this within the space of a few mins whilst he went for a run. He has 2 phones, personal and work so I suppose he could have used the other phone to log in but would be surprised if he used work phone for something like this?? We’ve been together forever, 2 kids, usual ups and downs related to that. never to my knowledge done anything before and to be honest I don’t think it’s his style as he’s a bit suspicious of tech but I’m a big believer in never say never because you just don’t know. What prompted me to look was on the long drive back from holidays( he was driving) I wanted to check to check whether the ferry company had texted/emailed any updates. He said no but gave me the code for the other phone to check when I asked. He had this phone in his pocket and rather then give it to me to check started unlocking his phone driving at 80mph on the motorway which I clearly told him to stop and give to me. I just got a gut feeling he didn’t want to give me his phone if you know what I mean. I never ended up checking the phone for the ferry text/email because I was so annoyed at him checking the phone while driving that this mini argument, It wasn’t even an argument took over. I guess I either have to ask him, which will raise questions about me checking his phone for no reason or assume it’s a typo from someone else. I’m probably naturally a suspicious person but don’t want to just dismiss it just because I’m a bit paranoid. In reality though if I ask him he’s hardly going to say “yeah, I just signed up”. I think I will try to check his phone again which annoys me that if this is an innocent typo I’m kinda thinking the worst and acting like a crazy!

I get emails like this all the time in my hotmail spam. You need to look who the sender is. They're quite often hidden and when revealed are usually fake. I'd be wanting more proof than this that my partner was cheating

@IAmALazyArse glad I'm not the only one. I'm sure the person with a 5 at the end of their number rather than a 4 hates me with a passion. Perhaps I should just get a SIM card, learn the number on it and file it in a cupboard.

@Areyouthinkingtheworst
Really I think just ask him. He might not be honest but hopefully you can tell from his reaction.

One way to find out is to join yourself. Or get a friend to join. Narrow down your preference list to the area you live and his age.

I mean this only works if he has been truthful on his profile. If he has one.

I managed to track down my friends dp twice on it.

Forgot to say also. I do get stuff I havent signed up for. It is possible someone has put in the wrong telephone number.

A few months ago I got a text saying 'hey Jane, I am getting so horny thinking about you.....are you around?'.

I was sat with Dp. I played along for a bit, saying I didnt have their number saved etc. Tirmed our he was called Mike and a profile with the name Jane had given him my number. I suggested he went back to her on the app. The last message just said 'she blocked me on the app 😔'

Not sure if she have him a fake number on purpose or a digit wrong. I tend to think she gave him a fake number on purpose.

But it does happen. I am, also on Coventry NHS mailing list. Never been to coventry in my life or used a hospital there. Again someone has given the wrong email address.

There’s some numpty out there with a similar email to me that keeps signing me up for dating sites by mistyping her address. Most of them I’ve been able to contact and explain but Plenty of Fish is completely impossible to contact so my junk folder is now full of ‘x wants to meet you’ crap.
Fortunately my husband just thinks it’s funny. At least they have a verification code for phone numbers - really should for email addresses too imo.

I’m on the fence. It could be a wrong number but his reluctance to give you the phone, and checking it himself when driving, is maybe a red flag? I don’t know. Would he usually do that? Or is this the first time?

It’s horrible when the seeds of doubt are planted. The other thing about checking POF is that, if he has made a profile, he might not upload a pic. When I used to go on there I’d get messages from men with no photo and it was obvious they were attached. I guess finding him on there would be conclusive proof of guilt, but not finding him wouldn’t be proof of innocence.

I keep getting text messages about loans for someone called Georgia.

It's a bit annoying having to keep blocking and deleting, but it's obviously a wrong number somewhere.

Him not giving you the phone is very suspicious.

I’ve just looked again at his phone. There was another text archived 2 mins before from this number- +46769446575. When I typed it into google as suggested this comes up. I’m hoping somehow they’ve just spam texted twice??

I think if you've been together for so long you should just be honest that his behaviour made you suspicious so you looked.

He might be a bit annoyed but if he's got nothing to hide he'll get over it quickly

I think someone else has used the wrong details and your innocent DH got worried and then tried to hide it from you, in the process making himself look suspicious.

Is there a chance he saw the text. Disnt know what or was and was going to look it up when he got home. And he was worried you would see it and assume the worst?

Obviously, not the ideal way to deal with it, but could he have just tried to hide his phone out of panic?

@GetUpAgain has explained what I was saying far better than I did.

It doesn't look good to be honest., Looks like he's set up a profile in the dating site. But it could be the case of someone typing in their number incorrectly. I've had 4 texts in the past month from Teletext holidays reminding me to check in online for flights to Agadir?! Never booked a holiday through them, but the text has verification codes etc and is definitely legit, so someone has obviously given entered wrong phone number... Hope the poor sods made their flight 😬! And really hope for your sake it's the latter situation regarding your partner. I'd be tempted to make a profile to see if you can "find" him on there, as that will give you a definitive answer that he can't deny.

It’s possible but I don’t think any of us can be certain. If I was in your shoes, I’d probably give it a week or so, then make an excuse to ask for his phone. I’d let my battery die or something and say I needed to make a quick call. If he hands it over no problem, then I’d let it go. If he acts shifty then I would be concerned.

Ha behaviour in the car was dangerous and appalling. And very suspicious.

I get spam from PodF all the time to my junk folder. But then Again i was a member maybe 6 years ago???? And they are impossible to get rid of.

And id ignore ‘how is your relationship?’ questions. How many tomes do women not see an affair coming? Their husband wouldn't cheat! They were happy. Never argued. Good life. How your relationship is means nothing.

I’m the person that puts their number in wrong 🤦‍♀️. I’ve had the number a year, and 2 numbers I keep getting wrong as they don’t flow properly In my head, when I type it. Several times I’ve waited for a code only to not get it and realise what I’ve done. I wouldn’t worry if I was you, I’d assume someone done the same as me.

Can you try to log into POF using that security code and a stab at guessing his other details to see if he has an account?

Tbh, if this were me i'd just ask him. After so much time together surely you'll know if he's lying to you? And if i felt he was lying i'd tell him so and ask him to put my mind to rest or the shit would be hitting the fan. I've always felt it would be up to me to convince DH of the fact i wasn't cheating if he ever felt i was, and i would expect it the other way around to. (we never have in 13 years)