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To be upset with my (child free ) brother, because...

69 replies

noonar · 07/08/2007 18:17

...i have had to abandon a trip to see his new flat in london, so that he and his flat mate can go to the supermarket?

i woke up this morning and decided that it would be lovely to take dd1 and 2, aged 3 and 5 to london to see their uncle's new home. he's been madly busy doing his finals, so visitors have been banned until recently.

he said that wednesday is agood day for him, so i thought i'd be spontaneous, for a change.

he told me he had friends coming to dinner, so we could stay till 6 ish, but that he's need to do a food shop for the meal.

as i looked into journey times a bit more, i realised we'd be travelling for a about 4 hours to have 2 blocks of 1.5 hrs with him, either side of his shopping trip.

AIBU to expect that maybe his flat mate couldve shopped alone? his response when i asked this was 'she's not a foodie, she wouldnt know what to get' and 'i couldnt ask her to shop first thing as she's really not a morning person'.

now i know this was a last minute plan, but AIBU to want him to have tried a little harder to accommodate my visit?

btw, if he really didnt want us to go, he'd have said. he's the brutally honest type.

well, what dyou think?

ps have promised the girls a trip on the train, so am now going to have to invent another day trip

OP posts:
fillyjonk · 07/08/2007 20:09

yes, think i may get me to the library later this week

HectorsHouse · 07/08/2007 20:09

in that case noonar I misread it and apologise, I thought you'd called him to say tomorrow not that he'd specifically invited you tomorrow

elliott · 07/08/2007 20:11

My childfree brother would be just the same. Never ever prioritises seeing his nephews and neice. He's still stuck in some kind of adolescent rebellion against the family (and he's 45 ffs - yours at least sounds like he is young enough to be excused his immaturity).

noonar · 07/08/2007 20:14

HH, i did call him. he agreed to this weds, but it was v short notice. i was happy to work round his supermarket trip, but when i realised that it would make or break the whole day, then i asked him to be flexible.

he came down on at end of july. i said i'd love to see his place. he said wednesdays were best. i realised too late that tomorrow is the last weds during the hols that we are both around. thats it

it was tomorrow or nothing.

we're not going.

OP posts:
noonar · 07/08/2007 20:15

thanks, elliott. he is a mature student - 32.

OP posts:
elliott · 07/08/2007 20:16

at least he comes to see you! My brother has visited my home, hmmm let's see, once in the past 12 years....

aloha · 07/08/2007 20:17

He clearly has no idea what a big deal it is for your neices and what the journey is like with children, which I suppose is understandable, but I still think it is sad. I hope, probably pointlessly, that my ds and dd will be more understanding of each other in adulthood. Probably a lost cause

macmama73 · 07/08/2007 20:20

YANBU, he should make more effort to accomodate you and your family. FGS, even if the Queen was coming for dinner, how much time do 2 people need to prepare for a dinner party?

Saying that, I think his behaviour falls under the catagorie of not-got-kids-so-havent-got-a-clue-how-much-effort-my-sis-is-making.

aloha · 07/08/2007 20:24

Yes, all this I must shop and cook and it all be exactly right, no matter that I have guests at home already is so precious and unmanly!

noonar · 07/08/2007 20:25

thanks mac.

last word to anyone else who thinks i'm being unreasonable:

i was forgoing a whole day's childcare/ 'me time ' to take them to london on a wednesday, which is my only day with help.

am going to have dinner.

OP posts:
aloha · 07/08/2007 20:28

I think some men get a bit 'how very dare you' camp if they don't have children past a certain age. I cite George Clooney and Hugh Grant as evidence.

tearsndtantrums · 07/08/2007 20:34

flaming heck
all i can say is thank fuck those twunts arent breeding. ok be child free but jeez no need to treat kids and parents like devil spawn

tearsndtantrums · 07/08/2007 20:37

ahem sorry i forgot this was a different topic entirely

noonar · 07/08/2007 20:43

TT, thanks for your support, hon, but that sounded a bit homophobic...which i'm sure you didnt mean...

OP posts:
tearsndtantrums · 07/08/2007 20:45

no no no noonar im not homophobic at all.

i clicked on a link on this thread that took me to a site where kids and parents seem to be devil spawn.

i swear i was shocked by their attitudes not by your brother who now ive re read this thread could have altered his plans

noonar · 07/08/2007 20:49

phew, tt, i thought you meant my bro and his gay friends! what a relief. am not in the mood for a scrap

OP posts:
tearsndtantrums · 07/08/2007 20:54

noonar im not against gays at all its just a site i looked at omg its shocking what some people think.

i dont do scraps im to puny

noonar · 07/08/2007 21:02
OP posts:
PrettyCandles · 07/08/2007 21:33

Noonar - I don't know what some of the other posters on this thread have been reading, but your OP was clear as glass to me!

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