AIBU to say that summer hols are a driver of inequality

[Teaandcrisps]

Myself and OH have had mixed personal fortune over the last 10 years - so from personal experience know the difference.

Summer holidays with no money is shit - especially when the weather is crap. If you can afford it however, it's great fun.

It's not just the obvious things - summer hols, trips, activities, camps, increase in food costs; it's also if you have the kind of job that can give you time off.

Given that food bank have launched the holiday hunger campaign, AIBU to say that summer holidays is an unequal construct and the 6-weeks off needs to go.

Mine are the opposite- prefer to stay home and don't like being planned for! Depends what it is though as well. Things like trampolining they like and things they have asked to do - nothing too structured.

My son loves playing out and my daughter loves art work at home

My ds and dd are exactly the same!

It's really hard to keep them both happy.
I agree parenting is different nowadays. It is far more intense. I haven't had a single day apart from them for the past six weeks.
Like a pp said, the very minimum I must do is baking at home or a walk to the shops. My ds is 11 and doesn't go to many places yet without me.

They are back tomorrow and I'll admit I'm absolutely exhausted.

@Teaandcrisps how many of those 4m children do you know? How many do you help and support?

It’s not just about affordable childcare it’s a long period of time for many to have to juggle different types of childcare resulting in mores stress for both parents and children as the holidays are so long. The odd week in a camp coupled with parent taking a week/ two weeks leave would work better. It’s not about finding things to do vs “ mooching about”. It’s about the length of the holidays having a very different impact on certain groups. You’ve got your teachers who love it clearly as it’s more time off for them. You’ve got SAHM whose main worry is what to do during the holidays which varies from “ how the hell am I going to feed my kid” to “ which friend should Annabelle invite over to go riding with in our field tomorrow?” The problem is that employers need to give longer leave over summer months to parents or allow unpaid leave which can be saved for in some cases during the year ( not all)

I would hate it if 6 week holidays were shortened. I like spending the time with my kids and a break from being a slave to the school run is more than appreciated. Children appreciate simple and cheap activities as much as the more extravagant outings, you just have to be creative. For example, mine had fun trying origami on rainy days, or practicing dance routines to their favourite songs, indoor camping etc. No, my children are not sit down and behave kids either, only when they have things to do. I searched free home education resources and ideas which helped loads.

^ Jesus wept - brick wall

I don’t think the top should be taxed more. Why should they be penalised for others choices?

We need to ensure parents step up rather than others if they are not doing enough to support a child. Better to actually fix the problem than throw money at at. That just encourages even less responsibility

But how do you fix the issue of low wages and high costs without "throwing" money at the problem? Either by increasing NMW(and then increase funding for public services to be able to pay those wages) or benefits.

But how do you fix the issue of low wages and high costs without "throwing" money at the problem?

Throwing money at it just increases the problem. Gordon Brown's generous tax credits and housing allowances helped cause house price/rent inflation. Simple economics of supply & demand. If there's more money available, it drives inflation - well proven fact and first lesson Economics.

I agree that the summer holidays are really really hard for all of us! Kids for 6 weeks???!!!!!! 😱🤣
Seriously though, we are a low income household, and the summer holidays are a very stressful time, constantly wanting to do something with the kiddies, because you actually want to spend time with them and do something different, but some things are simply unaffordable, but it feels like the norm and you should be able to afford these things.
I come from a family that wasn’t well off by any means, and holidays were spent at the beach, forest walks, cinemas and the odd trip to London, interspersed with museum visits etc but things were a hell of a lot cheaper then so you could do a couple of things,like the cinema, or a trip to Pizza Hut over the holidays without it breaking the bank.
These days it’s absolutely ridiculous, and if you want to go to the cinema, you have to pack a backpack with drinks and snacks, because the concessions stand is as expensive if not more than the tickets. But when your children are looking at other children with their little tray of treats you can’t help but feel guilty,or that you are failing your children.
And there are free events and places to go, but it requires a hell of a lot of research and planning that you don’t always have the time to do.
And if you work you are equally as stuffed because you have to organise camps and whatnot and they are ridiculously expensive, and the kids don’t always enjoy them that much.
And if you want to send your child to a two day drama workshop or sports camp, forget it!
The costs are astronomical!
I was dreading the holidays, as most of my sons friends were away at different times over the summer, but we set up a WhatsApp group to ‘survive’ the summer and ended up doing museum days, park days and some silly, free things over the summer, or small affordable things. We all made little suggestions so it wasn’t all left to one person to do all the research and legwork, so it took the pressure of us somewhat. The boys got to have time with friends over the holiday, the mums had some extra support, and that left the other days free for mum-kids time and weekends for family time.
I still felt guilty that we’d hadn’t done a proper holiday, or done theme parks or camps or many trips out of London.
But, when I looked at the calendar for August, it was full almost every single day with play dates and little trips out we’d done and on our last day at the ice cream parlour we all had to take it in turns to say what our favourite part of the summer was. My 5 and 3 year olds favourite parts of the holiday were Parliament Hill paddling pool, the ice cream parlour, museum of docklands and the day we played Lego ninjago at home.
I honestly think that we put too much pressure on ourselves, and with rising costs of living and not a rise in wages it’s going to continue to be a difficult time for many, including ourselves.
Hopefully, what I can take from this holiday was that it was the time I took and not necessarily the money I spent. Which is always annoying when other people have said that to me in the past when I’ve been stressing about money and the kids, but this year I understand it a little more.
That doesn’t make it any easier, but maybe I will be kinder to myself next holiday and remember that being together when we can is always the most important thing about the holidays.