Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To think it isnt Aspergers

86 replies

Eggandhashbrownbutty · 01/09/2019 08:03

my Sister seems to think my niece (2 year old) has Aspergers. She is going to check her checked by her gp or whatever the procedure is (sorry, I’m not familiar with how you get a diagnosis)

She can speak but says very few words, yes, no, shark, ball - and she knows what things are for instance if I say where’s the chair? She will point to the chair/baby/bed/cat so she is quite intelligent. It’s just her speaking she is struggling with.

She is due to start nursery next week and prior to this has been in full time care of my sister who is a great mum to her and has tried and tried relentlessly to get her to start talking. She uses word cards to help her learn words and my niece does follow her lead with this. My sister takes her out to socialise with other children and she doesn’t have a problem playing with them, she can be a bit shy at times but overall I would say she is just like any other child. Bit IMO I think she will come on leaps and bounds with speaking once she is around other children for longer periods.

My sister seems to think it is something more than just being a bit delayed and has googled and come to Aspergers. My sister says my niece has a funny walk (never noticed this myself) and trips over her feet quite a lot and is a bit unsteady which is meant to be a symptom of Aspergers tears or autism. I assume there are other things which makes her think Aspergers but she only mentioned tripping up and delayed speech.

Can anyone offer any advice? I think I have included everything as not to drip feed.

OP posts:

Teacakeandalatte · 01/09/2019 08:07

Stay out of it and let her go to the GP. It may be nothing it may be that your Dsis has picked up on a developmental problem.

merrymouse · 01/09/2019 08:11

Can anyone offer any advice?

Yes, your sister's GP.

Original poster

Eggandhashbrownbutty · 01/09/2019 08:13

Really?

OP posts:

GruciusMalfoy · 01/09/2019 08:16

It doesn't do any harm to have her see the GP. if it is ASD, she won't receive a diagnosis without a thorough set of examinations over a period of time. I noticed my son's differences as a toddler, he was diagnosed at 6yo.

Her mother will naturally pick up on more than you do as an aunt. It could be something or nothing.

jaseyraex · 01/09/2019 08:17

I'd stay out of it. It's not your kid. The GP or health visitor or whoever she chats to will make the decision on whether it's worth a referral or not. FWIW the only thing my DS1 was delayed in was speech (almost 3 and a half before he said anything) and he's autistic. You don't know that by looking at him.

Junobug · 01/09/2019 08:19

What was referred to as Aspergers, presents very differently in girls than boys. I would put money on my daughter who is just 5, having ASD but I don't think anyone else, including her teachers would agree because she mimics and copes outside of the house. There is a good chance that your sister sees things that you don't. As a parent, you know when something is a bit different to other children.

Ilikethisone · 01/09/2019 08:19

She wont get an aspergers diagnosis now. Ita changed.

However my son was diagnosed, years ago. It doesnt sound like it. My son has less words at 3.5.

It's a very long road and she wont get any diagnosis just because she believes it. It hard to get a diagnosis, when there is massive issues, unfortunately.

My sil has had her eldest at all sorts of medical appointments. She insists he walks funny, tonsils are a problem, doesnt eat enough, think he is deaf in one ear etc.

She goes to the doctors, the doctors books a specialist and the specialist tells her everything is ok, it appears the gp is getting fed up as is less reluctant to send them ri a specialist.. Dbro is at breaking point. She suffers with healthy anxiety towards herself as well and now projecting it onto her son.

I dont know if your sister is like this. But wether she is or isnt. My advice is to keep out of it. Dont say anything that could sound like 'it's really not'. It doesnt help and she will retreat longer.

I am not sure if you think she is anxious or just wrong in this instance.

hazeyjane · 01/09/2019 08:20

I'm not sure what advice you are hoping for.

Your sister has concerns about her dd, she is doing the appropriate thing....seeing a gp. The gp may agree and refer her on, the gp may say she is too young and to watch and wait, the gp may say there are no concerns at all.

When she starts nursery, they will also observe her development and (hopefully, if they are a good setting) if they have concerns they will talk to your sister about them, and follow up concerns by working with outside professionals and your sister.

aliceelizaloves · 01/09/2019 08:20

Some people are obsessed with their children's development. Hopefully the gp will reassure her in a way you can't. She sounds totally normal to me, in fact my friend's son didn't say a thing until 3 and he does not have asd. I hope your sister's anxiety is not effecting her dd at all and she gets the reassurance she needs.

fivecupsoftea · 01/09/2019 08:21

Is she just 2, or is she nearly 3? My DD was quite a late talker, didn’t say a lot till she was 3, she is now at a good university. I don’t know if word cards are the answer. I think a speech therapist would probably advise your sister to just play with her and talk to her, do things with her and talk to her while they are doing it. If she does have an issue, it may be a while before she can access speech therapy on the NHS, can she see one privately? They might be able to give her advice on what she can be doing while your sister gets a full assessment arranged, they might also give her reassurance. Your sister sounds quite anxious about it, and her anxiety may not help her daughter. Your niece could have dyspraxia, which could make her clumsy. Lots of time in a kids playground would probably help that.

shivermetimbers77 · 01/09/2019 08:24

Hi- if it's exactly as you describe OP then , no, I wouldn't think she would meet the diagnostic criteria for High functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder /what used to be called Aspergers syndrome. However , it's possible that your sister is noticing something you aren't aware of. As others have said, the GP is the best option here. The GP will be able to decide whether he/she is concerned enough to refer to a Paediatric team for assessment. Depending on where they are, it is likely there will be quite a wait for a Paediatric assessment. If its not Autism or something else like a language delay then your niece will most likely have developed a lot more language by the time she gets to the top of the waiting list and may not need the assessment by that point anyway. It will all become clearer over time.

Original poster

Eggandhashbrownbutty · 01/09/2019 08:24

the advice I am hoping for is anyone who has had a similar experience. As I mentioned in my op I’m not familiar with it all.

I’d never put my sister off taking her daughter to see the gp, my opinion in my op is purely my own and I’ve posted here at ask of anyone has had any similar experiences.

OP posts:

SinkGirl · 01/09/2019 08:25

Your sister sees a lot more than you do. If she hasn’t already she would have had a check by 27 months by her HV which in part assesses the risk of things like ASD (Aspergers is no longer given as a diagnosis). If there are concerns she will be assessed.

Be supportive - I can’t tell you how hard it was when I already knew my twins had ASD and people would say things like “they’re fine, they’ll catch up”. Both of them have been diagnosed now. The year leading up to that was absolutely terrifying and distressing and I needed support. With my boys it’s very obvious (totally non verbal, had no interest in people etc) so people don’t really question it now.

Booboostwo · 01/09/2019 08:27

Why would you ask for internet advice on this, especially phrased in a way that you expect us to say your DSis is BU? No one is BU to get a medical opinion if they have a concern. If the child has ASD then she will get the help she needs early on - perfect! If she has something else then that can be diagnosed and supported - perfect. If she doesn't then it's a bit of time spent on medical appointments to find this out - worth it.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 01/09/2019 08:28

Nobody on here can confirm ASD in anyone else, it's just not how diagnosis works.

DS1 has Autism. I began noticing quirks when he was a toddler and it took til he was 10 to get a diagnosis. It can present differently in every single child you meet, let alone the differences between girls and boys with Autism, so you're going to just have to let your Sister get on with parenting her DD and being there for her, because only professionals can help.

Don't undermine her or do down the things your Sister is saying. The whole "but they can do x, y and z" thing doesn't help when it comes to Autism because there's no set list of can-do's that define it. Support her, love her DD and just be there.

Booboostwo · 01/09/2019 08:28

Sorry, cross posted.

Girls with ASD present differently from boys. On top of that every person with ASD is different and has different competences and challenges. No one here can say whether the child has ASD, just that the mother is reasonable to look further into this.

Be supportive. Tell your sister that she is right to seek help if she is concerned and, whatever the diagnosis might be, your DNiece remains the same, lovely, little girl.

Mintjulia · 01/09/2019 08:29

Leave it to the GP. If your dsis is worried, she is doing the right thing.

ChildminderMum · 01/09/2019 08:29

Your sister is probably best placed to tell if there are concerns about her child's development, and the GP is the best person to go to for advice.

It could be autism, it could just be a hearing difficulty. There's no shame or blame in looking into it though.

Poochandmutt · 01/09/2019 08:31

I’ve 2 with autism.
It took well over a year to get a diagnosis
Both boys saw 5/7 different professionals ,in different settings .
These people then all discussed together and decided my boys have autism.
Very difficult indeed to get that diagnosis,
Maybe your sister has picked up on something
My eldest was head banging from 6 months to soothe himself to sleep.
I knew when he was doing this ,there was a problem,but it took till he was 5 to get him diagnosed with autism.
All you need to do ,is tell your sister to see her gp if she is worried x

TeenTimesTwo · 01/09/2019 08:31

At 2.5 my DD2 had very limited speech and was unsteady on her feet.

Now age 14 she still has some speech problems and struggles walking down stairs.

It could be Aspergers that your very astute sister has picked up on.
It could be another developmental issue such as DCD.
It could be nothing.

Your sister is doing the right thing by seeing her GP. Waiting lists for SALT can be long so it is better to get into the system early if needed.

GruciusMalfoy · 01/09/2019 08:34

I couldn't agree more with this point.

MotherOfGremlins · 01/09/2019 08:37

You're clearly not an expert in autism, and your sister is trying to get access to someone who is.

You should consider reading about autism in girls instead of asking a bunch of internet strangers whether or not we agree with your opinion on a child who is not even yours.

AloeVeraLynn · 01/09/2019 08:38

She might just be slightly delayed and catch up when she is at nursery or there might be other factors at play. It really isn't your business at this stage, she is going to seek professional advice which is 100% up to her. As a parent who has been through the process of diagnosis with a child, other people involving themselves and saying "but he seems fine" just aggravated me and damaged a good few friendships. Stay out of it.

Punxsutawney · 01/09/2019 08:40

Ds was a late talker (had speech therapy) and did have some other asd traits as a toddler. We did not think at the time that we needed to pursue a diagnosis as he seemed to cope ok. He is now being assessed for autism at 15. Looking back I can see lots of things that I just put down to his quirkiness. Unfortunately not having an earlier diagnosis has been awful for him and things have fallen apart.

The gp will be able to advise your sister. It may be a matter of just keeping an eye on her development for now. I deeply regret not getting Ds diagnosed earlier though, it's very difficult for him going through this process now.

Daffodil101 · 01/09/2019 08:42

Aspergers is a type of autism spectrum disorder, one of the defining characteristics is a lack of developmental delay in the first 36 months.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread