To think it isnt Aspergers

[Eggandhashbrownbutty]

my Sister seems to think my niece (2 year old) has Aspergers. She is going to check her checked by her gp or whatever the procedure is (sorry, I’m not familiar with how you get a diagnosis)

She can speak but says very few words, yes, no, shark, ball - and she knows what things are for instance if I say where’s the chair? She will point to the chair/baby/bed/cat so she is quite intelligent. It’s just her speaking she is struggling with.

She is due to start nursery next week and prior to this has been in full time care of my sister who is a great mum to her and has tried and tried relentlessly to get her to start talking. She uses word cards to help her learn words and my niece does follow her lead with this. My sister takes her out to socialise with other children and she doesn’t have a problem playing with them, she can be a bit shy at times but overall I would say she is just like any other child. Bit IMO I think she will come on leaps and bounds with speaking once she is around other children for longer periods.

My sister seems to think it is something more than just being a bit delayed and has googled and come to Aspergers. My sister says my niece has a funny walk (never noticed this myself) and trips over her feet quite a lot and is a bit unsteady which is meant to be a symptom of Aspergers tears or autism. I assume there are other things which makes her think Aspergers but she only mentioned tripping up and delayed speech.

Can anyone offer any advice? I think I have included everything as not to drip feed.

you are not an expert, OP, and cannot dx nor rule it out. But it won't be Asperger's. Asperger's is no longer diagnosed (it all falls under autism these days) and what set Asperger's apart from autism in the past diagnosis wise was the absence/presence of a speech/language delay (no delay = Asperger's and delay = autism).

I have a DC with severe ASD and one of the worse things to happen to me when I had my niggles around 2 years old was people telling me it won't be autism (turns out DD is severely autistic with severe LD's). A mother's instinct is often right even people around the mum fall over themselves to disagree

Let her see the GP and the relevant professionals and let them come to s conclusion but don't minimise her concerns.

Bit IMO I think she will come on leaps and bounds with speaking once she is around other children for longer periods.

also, nursery is not s cure for speech delayed children/children with ASD otherwise they all would become neurotypical by attendung childcare.

I have a child that failed to start talking when starting nursery and I have planty of friends in the ASD community whose DC did not come on in leaps and bounds either. Not every child does. Some need a lot of help and some never get there despite all help under the sun.

you sound incredibly ignorant and if it isn't something you know about, just stay out.

She will point to the chair/baby/bed/cat so she is quite intelligent

DD could do this before 2 years old. Her learning difficulties are classed as 'severe'. pointing to a bed/cat etc aged 2 is not a sign of intelligence.

Indeed. Not only does pointing not link with intelligence but intelligence doesn't link with autism. Pointing however is an absolute key part of communication and gesturing. It is one of the questions that will be asked.

there is pointing and pointing for communication. DD could point to the drink when asked 'where is your drink' but she could not point at it by means of communicating that she is thirsty and want the drink.

but intelligence doesn't link with autism.

so true!

Intelligence doesn’t link with communication either!

My DT1 is so intelligent - he was so good at matching picture cards when he was less than 2 that I started using two packs, then three... he could match a picture / number / letter card from 48 choices laid out on the table, he was sorting by colour and shape way ahead of when he should...

He just doesn’t understand that language exists or what it’s for. At all. We are jumping for joy this weekend because we’ve managed to get him signing for “more”, but he just thinks it means “I want something” so is randomly tapping his hand for everything when he have no idea what he wants.

Interestingly he seems to recognise some written words and is obsessed with text, they’ve suggested he’s developing hyperlexia (he will sit and sort letters into words on an iPad for hours, but he can’t say a single word).

@Eggandhashbrownbutty how old is she? Just turned 2?

My DD has a few signs of autism and had no speech at 2, she is currently under a paediatrician and in nursery 2 days a week. She is 3 next week and been going since jan, she started talking after a couple of months and now never shuts up 😂

I doubt its autism or Aspergers but GP can get her on to a speech therapist xx

Sounds like she's doing the right thing. She has concerns, she's going to someone who can point her in the direction of an expert if they think it's necessary. If it's not, then no harm done.

I’m an Aspie, no language delays as a child but socially I was very behind. Based on your descriptions and observations, I’d suggest your sister looks into Dyspraxia too to see if it fits.

I hope your sister's anxiety is not effecting her dd at all and she gets the reassurance she needs.

Your sister sounds quite anxious about it, and her anxiety may not help her daughter.

This idea that mothers with concerns about their child's development are "anxious" which might be rubbing off the child really annoys me.

Even if a child does get a diagnosis, this attitude is so pervasive, even with professionals involved with the child. I've seen and heard of several reports written about children with sentences starting "mum is anxious about..." when it could so easily be written as "X's mother has reported concerns about x, y and z".

Very lazy and putting the "blame" onto the parents, particularly the mother, as if her "anxiety" is the cause of the child's developmental issues.

Your sister sounds quite anxious about it, and her anxiety may not help her daughter.

There is nothing to suggest the sister is anxious.

My sil has msbp which started by saying her son had problems with feeding and escalated to saying he had asd and all sorts of physical issues. Over the years she has had endless meetings with medical professionals and her child has suffered because of her illness. She is now being treated for it. So my response may being coloured by that.

I never said her anxiety may be affecting her child's development. The child sounds as if she has no developmental delay but think a medical professional can reassure her or escalate the issue if needs be. I have two pre schoolers myself so am no stranger to comparing my child to others and worrying if they seem behind on different things. However children develop at such different rates and I really don't think you can diagnose asd at 2.

I don’t know if word cards are the answer. I think a speech therapist would probably advise your sister to just play with her and talk to her, do things with her and talk to her while they are doing it.

I'm sure that most parents do these things anyway and if won't help a speech delay if there is one.

I think word cards (or Picture Exchange Communication System, PECS) is a great idea to aid communication, if the child does not have many words. Not being able to communicate verbally must be extremely frustrating, so anything that can aid this can only be a good thing. And if it turns out that there is no cause for concern, then using visuals to communicate won't have done any harm.

Your niece could have dyspraxia, which could make her clumsy. Lots of time in a kids playground would probably help that.

A bit like the OP thinking that her niece will come on in leaps and bounds with her talking once she is surrounded by other children for longer periods, I seriously doubt that just by being around other children would cure her "clumsiness" if it does turn out to be dyspraxia.

I really don't think you can diagnose asd at 2

Firstly, yes you can.

Second, the child is 2 now. They won't walk into the GP and walk out with a diagnosis.

She will point to the chair/baby/bed/cat so she is quite intelligent.

Even if she does have ASD or something else she could still be intelligent. Plenty of autistic people are incredibly intelligent.

I think you need to leave your sister to it. My son does have autism and it took ages before he was diagnosed first of all because we were in denial and then when we had accepted that his development wasn’t “normal” the people we needed to support us didn’t and he suffered greatly. If there’s no diagnosis to be had, she won’t get one. But if there is something, then best to get the wheels moving ASAP so any support she might need (if not now, but as she gets older) can be put in place :)

I never said her anxiety may be affecting her child's development.

I know, but we don't know whether the mother is anxious about her child's possible delay or not. It's just that it is a trope of parents of children with SEN to hear "mum is anxious about...." and it gets somewhat tiresome.

My sil got to the stage where everything her child was doing was a sign of asd. If he fell over, if he said the wrong word, if he didn't eat something or put something he shouldn't in his mouth. That isn't healthy for parent or child. She then started to invent allergies and physical symptoms. I'm not saying that will happen but family do have a right to intervene if they think the child is being harmed by this.

I'm not saying that will happen but family do have a right to intervene if they think the child is being harmed by this.

Op's sister arranged GP appointment which is absolutely the right thing to do when you have concerns. not getting it followed up could be doing harm in case the child has a condition which needs help.

My autistic daughter could point at objects at 2. She could also read some words and draw people! By 3 she was reading and by 4 she was on to Roald Dahl. Intelligence can actually be a marker for ASD.

If mum has concerns these will have come from somewhere. She will be seeing far more and I genuinely don’t think people google neuro issues just for the sake of it, they are looking for explanations. I knew by 10 months that something was odd with my daughter despite her hitting all her milestones early. Turns out I was correct and she was diagnosed with moderate autism with some areas severe. She’s actually really sociable and intelligent but she’s also really autistic. Girls present very differently to boys (I also have an autistic son)

. I'm not saying that will happen but family do have a right to intervene if they think the child is being harmed by this

Oh you need to clam down a huge bit or 2.

A parent is taking a child to the GP because she has concerns about the child's development.

duffy why are you being so rude to me? I've said a few times I think she should go ahead and take her to the gp.

@aliceelizaloves
Yours is a very rare situation so you shouldn't project your relatives' mbps onto every mother who thinks their child is not meeting their milestones and is markedly different to their peers.

It's very common for mums with young children who are diagnosed later to have known for a very long time and to have all the professionals, friends and family disagree with them and fob them off. Insinuating it could be mbps doesn't help everyone who does not have it i.e. the mothers who were right.

In this case, the child either will be dxd with ASD or not if an assessment goes ahead.

The mother is NOT pushing for multiple referrals nor is she constantly finding other health issues. She is simply doing what other parents of young children with autism often do.

My sil got to the stage where everything her child was doing was a sign of asd. If he fell over, if he said the wrong word, if he didn't eat something or put something he shouldn't in his mouth. That isn't healthy for parent or child. She then started to invent allergies and physical symptoms. I'm not saying that will happen but family do have a right to intervene if they think the child is being harmed by this.

And unfortunately its attitudes like this that lead to quite a few parents of autistic children being accused of FII when they initially try to seek help regarding their concerns for their child.

@aliceelizaloves

I haven't been rude?

You do need to calm down. This thread talks about a parent with a query over their child's development. The parent is doing the right thing be going to see the GP. You have posted way over the top nonsense because you know of one situation which is nothing like this.

She can speak but says very few words, yes, no, shark, ball

For me, a big difference between my DS (ASD) and my DD (NT) was their purpose for using language. DS used it to label things. DD used it to communicate with people and to get her wants/ideas across.

My sister takes her out to socialise with other children and she doesn’t have a problem playing with them

At 2yrs old, it's all about children playing alongside each other. The difficulty comes a little later when social skills involve things like co-operation and turn-taking.

None of us can say whether or not your niece has ASD. If your sister has any doubts, she's doing the right thing in speaking to the GP and asking about a referral. It's a long process to get a diagnosis and nothing will happen overnight.