To leave Australia and move back to the UK

[nameisnotimportant]

We have a great life here in Aus. Great lifestyle and secure jobs with great friends.

However we miss family so much, especially since having kids. Life in the U.K. would be a lot more secure in terms of buying a house and being able to bring up our kids in one area.

Pros of moving back to the U.K.

1. We could afford to buy a decent sized house in a nice area with a low mortgage. In aus, we will have to rent forever because house prices are absolutely ridiculous and finding a three bedroom in the area we want, would be near impossible. We would also have to stay in an apartment which isn't ideal with children.
2. We would be near family, wouldn't miss all the events like birthdays, weddings. Would have help with childcare and could actually have a date night once in a while.
3. Our holidays wouldn't have to be spent visiting family and would save us a lot of money.

Cons

1. We have a great group of friends in Aus and don't really have this in the Uk, so would have to basically start again in terms of making friends.
2. We would have the uncertainty of having to find new jobs and risk not liking them etc.
3. The U.K. weather, more so how long winter is because we actually don't mind the rain and are kind of sick of living in the sun.

4 Healthcare is better in Aus, we have private health insurance and get quicker access to services as the health system is generally not as strained.

So what do you think we should do. Should we move or stay put ?

Come back. I know everyone is losing their mind over Brexit and knife crime but it’s okay here.

I lived in Sydney for a while (eastern suburbs) and came home. Like you, we were in an apartment.

I’ve never regretted it.

I live in the UK but it's an 8 hour trip to my dad because my job is here and he's happy where he is so I dont see that living in the UK means family round the corner and free childcare. I lived abroad for a year and moved back because it wasnt worth being that much further from friends and relatives and I always felt like a foreigner there and missed a lot of aspects of UK life. You have a support network in Oz though which sounds good and jobs

I think you're just in a nightmare time with your kids being so young. I had 2 under 2 and masses of family support, sahm etc but it was still so bloody hard and tiring. Once they are a bit older (and it goes v fast), I think you would struggle to provide a better lifestyle for children than down under. It's really hard entertaining small.children in the cold and rain. Not a lot of outdoor activities etc.

Sydney is my absolute number 1 destination, however, and I did spend time in NZ in my 20s but left as it was too quiet. However, I would now bloody love to raise a family there. What a life they'd have!

Another one saying hold tight for six months. See what happens with house prices...
Where in oz do you live?
Also, if you have great mates can they not babysit for a couple of hours?
I'd make a long term plan to come back but enjoy it for now.

I don't think you could possibly pick a worse time to return. Stay put for now is my advice!

I think your heart says move to the UK but the place has gone really down hill in the last 3 years or so - Dickensian social inequality, shabbiness and dirt everywhere, poor infrastructure, everything crowded, poorly maintained and operating way beyond capacity, nastiness and racism a part of everyday life, crumbling public services - all because of government decisions.

Most people are as decent as ever and you get milder weather, proper seasons, a varied culture and a beautiful countryside... but I think Brexit will make all of it come to a head. Watch from a safe place and decide once the dust settles.

As you get older it gets harder - kids put down their roots and it gets harder to find work. My sister now regrets emigrating but her life is abroad now and it’s impossible for her to even travel now. Our parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles have now all dies and she regrets missing time with them (and her kids missing time with them too). Most of this was pre-Skype time and my parents weren’t email users anyway.

You don’t think of these things so much when you are hale and hearty but as you get older you do.

As my dad used to say ‘you don’t make a bad decision if you make the decision that was right for you at the time’.

Yes winter can be long but I like the rain. Not to keen on short days but time spent up in the north of Scotland in summer more than males up for that!

Timing wise I’d hold on for now. I agree re getting a job- we are moving to Australia and my dh got a job there first.
I’m confused as to the housing. You can afford to buy a house where you want in the U.K. but you can’t afford to rent more than a flat in Australia? This sounds both like it doesn’t match up, and you only want to live in a tiny tiny section of one city given everywhere has houses.

Dont bother!Christ id give UK a wide berth..how about the Saphire Coast,Northern NSW/Tweed or Mornington Penninsula or Bellarine Penninsula?weather out the day-care years&just put it out their with your Aussie mates-they cant help if you dont ask!Ive been away from UK 20years-USA NZ..Mexico..longest period here in Oz where kids were born.Truly love our life-the nature/open space&friendliness never gets old..on return trips &staying with mates in uk with kids i often came away marvelling at how Oz has let me grow as a person&just how accepting Aussies are of new faces when old mates seemed literally materalised into boring miserable old tw@ts 😉Ive lived inQLD Tas&Vic(the places i mentioned in1st para)schools in every state too (we used to move a lot with employer )I had no family to miss/depend on so it was always"right lets make this happen" with me&ive been happily single parenting for over10yrs...id say you've probably changed more than you realise&would probably find attitudes/mindsets very gloomy&staid after OZ..i stopped wasting money holidaying back"home"..it just felt like wasted time/effort when Asia&S.Pacific on doorstep..my DC have so far been to most of SEasia&Japan,HonkKong&consider themselves Aussie as do i.
Also thinking ahead-coz time really does fly-look at the alternatives here to a uni degree(which incidentally is far easier to enter&cheaper to study at here than uk)There are heaps of alternatives to the pressure-cooker school environment of uk..mind you-ill always miss what my corner curry house could whip up😂like a previous poster said..the grass is green wherever its tended to the most.

I think deep down you are probably homesick for the UK TBH. If you have gone as far as asking your DM about Childcare ,then you know thats the case!.As far as Brexit goes you could wait and see ,but I remember reading an experts opinion some time ago ,and they said it would probably not make much difference either way(as long as we have a decent deal .I think)House prices here arent cheap either ,and it might be worth taking some time to look at properties/jobs etc on a working holiday.Also Schooling of course .Some areas have been quite full recently.Watching "Wanted Down Under" on BBC ,they said that about half the people that emigrate there return home at some point .I am sure you would make new friends here quite easily ,and some of your Aussie Pals may like to come over on holiday!.Wherever you live nothing is 100% perfect and you will probably miss some parts of Oz but being close to F and F will make up for that in part .Some friends did the same a few years back and havent regretted it at all .They have both got good jobs in Teaching here and the DC have settled in well (Although too young for School there anyway!)Good Luck and I hope all goes well for you

Come back and enjoy your life again

You'd be off your head to move back to the UK now

agreed. Wait at least a year and see what happens with Brexit. I was messaging my Australian cousin the other day and asking him if Australia would give us asylum.

Last year the atmosphere was quite unpleasant and we couldn't wait to get out

Strange. I've not noticed this at all and was working in London until fairly recently. Unless you aren't white in which case I can't comment.

What atmosphere? I’ve not noticed anything either nor has family living on other cities. I’ve seen more stories on the press.

I moved back last year after nearly 30 years in Sydney as I had a close family member diagnosed with cancer . we have rented our house out in Sydney and can go back but I am really enjoying being back and luckily so is my OH and DS. DS born in Sydney but has come back with us and started uni here so is enjoying it.
I do miss my friends and the area we were lived so close to the CBD and especially the good coffee and great food options ! We are living pretty rurally here but its so good to be nearer family and have reconnected with old friends .
What I love is there is so much more to do here that I love like walking in the country visiting historical place and the proximity to Europe.
We have just retired too so that helps of course .
Over the years I just missed the Uk more and as the years went on no one came to visit us any more as it was too expensive and too far so sometimes it felt really isolated being just the three of us .
Its very hard as there are so many good things about both places and I did really enjoy my time there as its a nice life bringing up children lots of outside opportunities for them and we enjoyed our work life in Sydney although it is a very expensive city . I am at a different stage now I guess but I certainly don't miss the heat !

I'm in Sydney, having moved from London 4 years ago. Technically Sydney is home for me, although I had been away a long time, and my parents are here and helpful. But family is literally the only reason I stay! I loved London, I think it would be a great place for my son to grow up, and we had a great home with very little mortgage. And higher paying jobs with more options to change jobs.

The housing situation is crazy here. Massive mortgages are standard. Cost of living is high. If you don't love it, I'd say move. Well, not right now, is wait for the brexit situation to become clearer.

I noticed an atmosphere when I went back to the UK 3 months ago. But I wondered if it wasn't an atmosphere as much as the UK has a DIFFERENT atmosphere...than Australia.

@berlinbabylon we go back to the same area we lived in for 15 years in London and it's noticeable once you've been away for a couple of years.

Me and DH are white. Our friends aren't. We won't be going back for much longer as half our friendship group have left the country already.

OP don't throw away a delightful life in Aussie for the sake of an asset and occasional childcare.

We had this dilemma 20 years ago. We were in New Zealand with 2 kids under 3 but missed home so much and Knew how much the grand parents wanted to see more of their grandchildren and be involved in their lives. We came back with nothing ( left the house we owned in NZ )and started all over again finding jobs. I'm glad we did as over the last ten years we have lost 3 of our parents suddenly and I'm glad they had those years with their grandchildren. We were lucky in that we got jobs quickly and came back to live near my parents so I still had my group of close school friends locally. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if we'd stayed in NZ, my kids would probably have had a childhood of beaches and good weather and outdoor lifestyle, but wages were low and we were constantly struggling financially there. Overall I don't regret moving back.

I’ve lived half my life in Aus and other in London and think live where you feel happier

But can you try to secure jobs before you leave?

We did this last October. It has taken me a year but I can now see it was absolutely the right move.

We had been there 8 years, both my children were born there. We are all dual citizens. We moved with a 3ur old and 1 year old. We wanted to do it before eldest started school so to cause the least disruption.

We have finally agreed a sale on a perfect home for us. Like you, we could never have afforded to buy in the area we wanted, in Perth.

We have bought in the south east, in a lovely village five miles from a city. Even there it is significantly less than what it would have cost for the equivalent in in aus. Yes brexit is coming and we may get burned but we need a home and worse case scenario we will just have to stay put in our nice house and ride it out!

Pp mentioned cost of moving, which didn't affect us as our relocation was paid for but is worth doing the maths on. We made a lot of money from moving through selling 2 cars that were worth a lot more than they sell for here and buying one much more reasonably priced family car. We also were able to cash out 2 lots of long service leave from our employers.

There are a lot of things I miss and I was heartbroken for the first six months but it was amplified by the fact we moved for winter and mainly I just missed my friends terribly. More than anything else.

I've since made new friends and been really surprised how much easier I have found it to make friends here than there . Particularly num friends. People seem so much more on my wavelength and easier to find a way in with whereas I often felt like I had to work quite hard at new friendships there. The area I lived in was very image conscious and money conscious and I found that hard work. Everyone found it really important to be eg driving a new car, dressing their children really stylishly and I found that quite hard work. The playgroups here are so lovely, never really experienced anything like them there. I've made such great, supportive friends who I can have such a laugh with, in such a short space of time.

Finally, I have seen my children's relationships with their grandparents really blossom. My 4 year old has her own in jokes with my FIL and calls him get best friend! They are also growing up with cousins, uncles and aunts.

Feel free to pm me if you have any questions about making the move! I totally get where you are and we wrestled with the decision for a long time.

Should add I get loads of "you must be mad!" Mainly from people who have never been to Australia and always from people who have never loved abroad. It was hugely unhelpful when I first moved and was homesick.

Don't listen to anyone whinging about the UK who hasn't lived anywhere else!

I would wait until after Brexit. Who knows how much of an apocalypse that will be.

I moved back to the UK after living abroad for many years in a country that I really loved. It was hard to leave behind close friends and it was quite an adjustment getting used to life in the UK again, but I have really valued being close to family and overall, I'm very glad that we came back. Like any other country, the UK has its pros and cons. There is no such thing as the perfect place to live, despite the fact that some people always think that the grass is greener elsewhere.

On the balance of what you've said, I'd be inclined to look at moving back to the UK. However, as others have said, wait until after Brexit as we don't yet know how bad it's going to be, but if we crash out without a deal, it may be catastrophic. At which point, we'll be hightailing it out of here ourselves, back to where we lived before!

I live in Scotland and haven't noticed a change in atmosphere. The roads, schools, libraries and NHS waiting times are worse and most people I know are fed up with the Brexit indecision and want a decision and then to get on with it and aren't looking forward to another divisive Scottish indy debate. The people haven't changed much. I do feel as a country we are trying to live beyond our means though and politicians aren't honest about what we can actually afford with our taxes.