Manager won’t let me go to my wedding

[Biggobyboo]

I’m a mature student (Master’s degree) and I’ve previously worked in professional office jobs. I’ve recently started a part time job on a make-up counter to earn some pin money and to get me out of the house. I always thought it seemed like a fun job and I like skincare and cosmetics.

When I sent back my contract to HR I mentioned I had my wedding coming up and a week off for my honeymoon. They said that was no problem.

I started the job and discovered my manager has the week of my honeymoon booked off for a holiday and flies out on my wedding day. The full time assistant is being a bridesmaid at another wedding that day so there is no cover in the store.

My manager said I cannot have the time off. I thought she was joking so I said “sure, I’ll just re-arrange it for the following week then!” She said that I should make it at least a couple of weeks after HER holiday. I explained that it wasn’t possible to cancel my wedding and she said it was a shame I wasn’t showing my dedication to the brand and being a team player so early on in the job. No more has been said as she has gone off sick so it’s just me and the other assistant. I can’t do too much (paid) overtime as I’m studying so she’s being funny with me. I’m contracted for 15 hours a week but I’m doing 22.5 hours currently to cover. The brand is recruiting for another part time assistant.

So should I just hand in my week’s notice now or wait until the week of my wedding? If I leave now, the other assistant will have nobody else so there will be no cover. The store is open around 60 hours a week but I’ve noticed the other brands leave their counters unmanned a lot of the time where they have no staff.

If I leave just before the wedding there will still be no cover for that weekend.

Any ideas? I’ve never worked anywhere this crazy before!

I'd give HR til Tuesday to respond. If they don't, then just don't go back.

If you told them about your wedding and honeymoon then they need to honour your time off, I've never had a problem when stating holidays before. They honoured them as they ask what holidays you have.

I was going to recommend going back to HR as your manager clearly knows she's in the wrong - hence the sick leave.

However: I really don't think it's worth the aggravation you will get on her return if you do fight your corner.

You said it yourself, it's pin money and a way to get out of the house and you can do that anywhere. It's also not your problem re: staffing.

Find another job ASAP.

HR have okayed it so it's no problem.

If things get too awkward - just leave (if you can afford to. If not I am sure you would get something else). You don't need a reference.

I've reset my long forgotten mumsnet password just so I can log in and find out how this saga ends 😆

Manager sounds like a complete fallus!

Get in touch with your area manager, presumably she did your interview?
If you have it in writing that it's agreed you have nothing to worry about and they can be taken to an employment tribunal for breech of contract.
I understand that you don't want the hassle for a fill in job, but why should they get away with it? It could have been someone who really needs the work/money?
They can sort out cover with an agency.
I worked in cosmetics for 20 years as management. Good luck x

OP if you need the money and like the job just go off sick a day or two before the wedding and stay off a fortnight. They can't prove you're not sick.

Leave now . You want to and also don't need a reference from them. Good riddance to them. Let the manager figure out cover. If she'd treated you fairly you would not have resorted to leaving suddenly but you are better off out of there . Also others in the store sound petty and bitchy by their response to you. Best of luck finding a new job where you are appreciated and treated better.

So no, it's not HR's problem, but as someone who used to work in retail and now in HR, we would ask people about pre-booked leave at interview stage, but may not check this with the manager, we generally just honour it, and would certainly honour it for a wedding, even if the entire department was on holiday that week. However, where HR is not on-site, managers can be a law unto themselves; I worked in one store where a manager arrived drunk or very hungover quite regularly, and another where the manager actively favoured all male members of the team and told us that they didnt need to vacuum, clean displays or tidy up, because that was "women's work".

I would call HR and act confused "I have an email from you stating that would be fine, but the manager is now advising me I need to cancel my wedding because she is on holiday". Failing that, I would quit.

Enjoy your wedding OP!

Quit on the grounds that the manager didn't uphold the agreement to HR. It is not your responsibility to worry about staff. If they are at all worried they will ship someone in temp.
Have a good wedding and don't look back.

NoBaggyPants you are one of those people who has to be nasty. The OP clearly stated that she told them of the wedding and honeymoon dates and they approved. She also got it in writing. But hey, you go and tell her that it is still all her fault. You just come on here to try ot make people feel bad. Didn't work. You just made yourself look bad. To everyone. Nice one.

I hope there is somebody in HR who will admit the conversation transpired with you, and when.

So many slippery people, right?

It is your wedding. Just find another job. It sounds like you're an intelligent, able person. Stay until the last minute, pack your things and just bail.

Seriously. Do not allow the slimy-comings of others to stain your wedding day. Make it a day of powerful fun, strength and how you mean to go forward in your life.

And, in the future, get everything in hardcopy, no matter what they tell you. If they say you do not need it, just tell them to humor you, that you feel better with hard copy. Once it becomes a habit, you will be so glad you did.

I hope you have a lovely wedding day, night, and that your honeymoon memories last a lifetime!

I would raise it with HR as they were the ones who said it was ok when you accepted the job - did you get anything in writing?

Similar thing happened to DH - except it wasn't a new job - all holiday requests (your entire 25 days) had to be submitted the year before And was first come first served - he submitted his forms the exact same time as several others on the same day at same minute on online system and it was declined!

(Until I went bat shit bridezilla crazy and went storming down there!)

As others have said this sounds like the counter manager you have dealt with, she is probably thinking she needs to cover her arse as where I work you can’t have two people off at once so she’ll be in the shit for authorising another team member to be off at the same time as her, when you go in and say you’re off too then her line manager will/should be asking her questions as to why there is no cover.

I would do as PP suggested and contact your area manager and the store dept manager and be quite assertive about it, “I’m just letting you know that I’m off xxxx for my wedding, tillyfloss has said that it’s an issue but it was authorised via email from HR prior to my starting” end of conversation, you know you’re not there for the long haul so I’d turn up, get the commission and staff discount

One other thing:

Yes, just leave. Your manager is there to pick up the missing hours and workload of the staff, not you! Teach her a lesson in character. Show her what it means to be a true professional. All the while, you on your honeymoon, she will contemplate the move you made every minute.

Sometimes you just have to lead by example.

It seems like the perfect job to walk out off.

BUT...

It is not your boss’ fault (although I admit s/he sounds like an arse), surely you cannot expect them to cancel their holidays, or the bridesmaid to re arrange. It is just a matter of finding someone else in the store to cover the day for the three of you.

Talk to HR, they said it was ok, they can help find someone to cover.

Now, if the wedding is far into the future or next week, find another job, it is not as if you are leaving a highly regarded career break opportunity if you are just using it to help support yourself through your studies.

Did you go in?

Your annual leave has been confirmed by HR. Don’t say anymore and take your annual leave as planned.

This - just keep saying HR have approved it.

I'd go in and quit when I had a better job or when it suited me.

I’d hand in week before as it will screw them over to a greater degree tbh

Quit YANBU

no baggy pants she told HR god the attitude of some mumsnetters

Sounds terrible, I would leave asap OP and look for a new job. It's insane for your manager to expect you to postpone your wedding. A normal person would see the problem and arrange cover from elsewhere or close up shop for the day.

Did hr confirm the exact dates?

Did you go in OP? Have you made any decisions?

They do sound pretty awful to work for; but in my experience over the years (as both a manager and an employee), whenever you agree ANYTHING verbally you MUST back it up in writing, or at the very least an email which you then print out and keep until you have left that job. (For some documents, longer than that.)

Context - I have had over 20 jobs in my life (many of them temporary in the early days when there was very little work to go round) and I have worked for every size and type of organisation from huge international mega-corps to the public sector.

I hope you get this sorted.