To think this is subtle racism?

[breezeonkeys]

Colleagues have made a few remarks in recent times that have made me feel quite uncomfortable. Could anyone clarify if I'm being a snowflake or is this really quite racist?

Things such as "She's a cheeky bitch, she only has to look at the sun and she's black"

"If you went on a sunbed, would you go black if you did enough minutes?"

"You look Pakistani in the Summer"

And most recently, within earshot of me, someone spoke to another colleague and said "I think naturally dark olive people look like they need a good wash!" The disclaimer being that I showed twice a day, everyday, it's not a subtle hint for me to wash

AIBU to say there's a sort of racist tone here? Or are they just extremely rude? They do it all with a smile which makes it even more confusing. DH has suggested coming back to them with digs like "At least I don't turn pink like a pig Sharon" but I can't bring myself to say any such thing. I just smile and nod, never commenting. Husband is as white as they come.

I'm not sure it could even be classed as a 'race' issue. My background is Hispanic, so technically white although I've never felt 'white white' if that makes any sense.

I've had this and and off (subtly, nothing constant or extreme), since childhood. It feels like there's some sort of dug there occasionally and I'm not 'one of them' 100%. My mum grew up in the EastEnd so I'm very much an English woman, but home-life was very 'non English'.

I apologise if this post offends anyone. I know some people face very real race issues daily.

When you say Hispanic, do you mean "from Spain" i.e.Spanish or are you of Latin American extraction? The latter is a wide group of people but many can be classified as a different race/ethnicity.
And yes, it's blatant racism.

As someone who's family came out of the Greece (and yes i look Greek) i dont find it racist and i wouldn't be upset over any of it.

Racist!!

It sounds like I've got similar skin tone to you. I'm always tanned year round without sun exposure as are my DC and in summer we all get constant remarks but on the whole usually positive ones asking about our family background which is Hispanic. I've been told I look Indian but that was by someone from India so im pretty sure that wasn't racist. I've been told I look aboriginal, Thai, Greek, Italian ....blah blah the list goes on. I've never been bothered - it's just canteen talk.

It's interesting that my DS hates people commenting on his skin colour and has said he feels that it's racist. Someone commented on his skin colour and he said she was being racist - she laughed her head off and said look at me I'm mixed race but I think he feels embarrassed when people question him about why he's so brown.

The needing a wash comment however is terrible and I would be offended at that comment.

I think the main thing is OP, that no-one should be commenting on your skin colour at work and for that alone I would be taking this to HR. Totally inappropriate and unprofessional of your colleagues even without the racism of 'needing a wash'.

How did you get on with your complaint, OP?

"it's just bants"

No, it isn’t.
That’s a cop out for unacceptable behaviour.
‘it’s just bants, where your sense of humour etc?’ - er, it’s not funny & you feel uncomfortable/unwelcome/put down.
It’s low level bullying using race as the theme, it could be sexuality, disability or any other perceived difference.

If they came out & stated their stereotypic views based on your ‘difference’, then the issue would be much clearer. The passive aggressive ploy is to deflect immediate fallout & consequences.

Of course it can be said that you could ‘bants’ back & say something along the line of ‘Oy you CFers, see how funny it is when i bants over to HR to tell them you are racially harassing me. Is that funny? Thought not, so cut it out’. But employment law & company policy exist to make clear the expected standards of behaviour in the workplace, & HR are the folk who own implementation of said policies.

If you are in a corporate environment, then HR are the folk to tackle this. Is there a confidential hotline for reporting bullying ?
If you meet with HR, please take a union rep/friend in with you for moral support. Keep a brief record of any ‘bants’ as well of any conversations with HR.

Do not keep quiet/stay put & tolerate this unacceptable behaviour in what should be an inclusive working environment for all employees.

Speak to HR @breezeonkeys

I have made the assumption that your line manager has not tackled this behaviour or is part of the problem.

PP has rightly said that you should raise it with them. But if you feel that you cannot do this, then using the confidential bullying or union hotline/Employee Assistance service can help you get this matter addressed with HR.

Defo report to HR

It’s racism. Ok, people do say silly things about tanning, but the turning black thing is OTT and I think would make some people of colour uncomfortable, it’s not really hyperbole. Needing a wash=awful racist comment for reasons already explained, implying brown skin dirty and lesser. I can understand you don’t want to be “crying wolf” when other people are probably experiencing racism more often or in even worse forms, but imagine if someone else joins your office who is not white and this awful colleague makes similar comments to them, and says, well OP has never complained when I banter about her skin. I think you need to make sure it’s clear that it is unacceptable and that you find it offensive (because it is).

Its not what people say (although I really look sideways at the wash thing & I cant think saying someone looks Pakistani is meant to be a compliment to people of that country in that context) & the comment its only bant - shades of the school bully (or work one) who than says "don't you have a sense of humour" yuck - they are racist

As an Asian I would find those comments very offensive!! I'm generally very tolerant and also try to be broad minded when people ask where I'm " originally ' from but blatant comments about skin tone and washing is just not on. Please do report.

It’s racism and it’s not subtle