To think this is subtle racism?

[breezeonkeys]

Colleagues have made a few remarks in recent times that have made me feel quite uncomfortable. Could anyone clarify if I'm being a snowflake or is this really quite racist?

Things such as "She's a cheeky bitch, she only has to look at the sun and she's black"

"If you went on a sunbed, would you go black if you did enough minutes?"

"You look Pakistani in the Summer"

And most recently, within earshot of me, someone spoke to another colleague and said "I think naturally dark olive people look like they need a good wash!" The disclaimer being that I showed twice a day, everyday, it's not a subtle hint for me to wash

AIBU to say there's a sort of racist tone here? Or are they just extremely rude? They do it all with a smile which makes it even more confusing. DH has suggested coming back to them with digs like "At least I don't turn pink like a pig Sharon" but I can't bring myself to say any such thing. I just smile and nod, never commenting. Husband is as white as they come.

I'm not sure it could even be classed as a 'race' issue. My background is Hispanic, so technically white although I've never felt 'white white' if that makes any sense.

I've had this and and off (subtly, nothing constant or extreme), since childhood. It feels like there's some sort of dug there occasionally and I'm not 'one of them' 100%. My mum grew up in the EastEnd so I'm very much an English woman, but home-life was very 'non English'.

I apologise if this post offends anyone. I know some people face very real race issues daily.

My daughter and I are pale skinned, freckles and blue eyes. We cannot ever get a suntan even on a holiday, need to wear factor 50 to prevent sunburn. We have Irish heritage and have often been referred to as "gingers" although perhaps we prefer to be called strawberry blonde.

My DH is much darker skinned and our son takes after him, so they will both get a decent suntan on holiday.

If it was banter between people who are friends I could understand the comments, because pale skinned people often feel really envious of those who tan easily.

If you don't see it as banter then challenge the comments, but it is possibly stemming from pure jealousy,

I think the comments about tanning easily are just misguided. The one about you needing a good wash is racist and inappropriate at work. I would report that one to HR.

Racist. I’m glad your going to complain.

They sound dumb as rocks.

*you’re!

"She.... only has to look at the sun and she's black"
I don’t think this one’s racist. We always used to say this in relation to tanning and it was a compliment tinged with real or fake envy. I used to say it about my mum. We were never thinking of black people when we said it, we just meant a really dark tan which was highly desirable.
The olive skin thing is bloody rude though and I’d be giving them a mouthful.

Yep, overt racism - YANBU to report it.

However, I do think that YABU to come up with and include your own (your DH's) 'racial slur' (if only very mild) in your OP - there was no need for it, you could simply have written "DH suggested a few comebacks along parallel lines..."

I don't think it would be necessary, if the situation were that of a white person feeling that they were experiencing racism and having given some examples of what had been said to them, that the OP would then write "So DH and I came up with a few of our own, such as insert racist comment about people who aren't white, if you see what I mean? I don't believe you were trying to be offensive though.

How easily someone tans is racist?

Yep. "She only has to look at the sun and she's black" had never struck me as meaning black in the black people sense. It's just hyperbole, surely?

But the not washing thing is grim.

Yes it's racist. Nothing subtle about it.
As someone said up thread, you may think you're white but you're not to other white people - at least the ones you hang out with

I'm not surprised at some of the dismissals of racism from posters in here. Saying someone looks black or Pakistani on its own isn't racist. It's the context. When white skin is seen as top of the desirability hierarchy, everything else in context is less desirable. In this context (especially suggesting her skin is dirty) OPs colleagues were being disparaging of her skin. Even if they were jealous, they were using racism to make her feel like she's less than them.

They don’t see you as white even if you think you are (this is why race is artificial BS, there is no straight dividing line between races, we’re on a continuum of shades). The washing comment was 100% racist.

"Looks Pakistani" - racist and ignorant.

I worked with someone like this. He used to make comments about moving out of Bermondsey in the 90s because burglaries went up when black people started moving there.

He also proudly said he voted UKIP at the general election (I have no doubt at all someone is going to flame me and say voting UKIP isn't racist but believe me he was racist).

By far the worst thing about work is working with knobby people who you'd happily tell to piss off if you won the lottery

I am going along with the majority here (which I hate !)

I would overlook the tanning comments but "you look pakistani" and "you look like you need a wash" are so far out of order that they are out of this country!

And yeah "You look [specific country]" should not be an insult, but it is. Go ask your Asian friends how often someone has called them a "paki". It's fucking horrible. I have a lot of Asian friends and sadly NONE of them have experienced no racial abuse during their lives in the UK.

My background is also Hispanic and I’ve had all of these comments. It was bloody awful around the seventies ( I’m old) and theneased off for a while. Back with a vengeance now. Dd also gets it. Report.

Saying you look as if you need a wash is racist because it's linking brown skin to being dirty (irrespective of your own racial origin). I would report her for that comment alone.
Apart from that the woman sounds ignorant. Human beings don't belong on a colour chart, there is much diversity.

I came on here expecting a non story but I’m disgusted by that behaviour. It’s nit friendly bants, it’s racism. They need to know you don’t like it and ‘if’ they really were just joking they will stop and apologise. But no, what you described is not acceptable

I don’t see racism in the comments. People aren’t saying it in a direct reference to race just the colour your skin goes during the summer. During the summer last year I got very tanned and work colleagues commented that I was nearly black but I didn’t see it as a racist comment at all. I don’t think your colleagues were inferring the comments in a negative way.

Racism, yes, and not subtle at all.

And you can guarantee that anyone who says "it's just bants" afterwards knows exactly how offensive they're being.

I tan really easily. So much that when we are on holiday in Spain people are surprised I am not local. I am white English. People often mention how dark my skin goes in the summer and how I look “foreign”. Never ever would I think it as racist. If you are English op what race are they insulting? The English? So many mumsnetters are obsessed with racism. They think it makes them appear diverse if they scream racism any time any one makes a comment. Like all Brits who owned a golliwog in the 70s were racist. Like the mumsnetter who was going to “call out” her friend whose said her stomach was giving her gyp. She thought it was racist to gypsies

All the comments are overtly racist.

Really upsetting to read what they're saying to you. Imo that is racist and inappropriate. They are making you feel targeted and upset and it needs to stop. Please make notes of incidents and take further - convo with your manager.

pink I'm not really English. My background isn't English at all, I was only born here. That's where it ends. My heritage is completely different although I would consider myself and my DC very 'English' in our ways

That's so awful. It must hurt. They are idiots. I'm sorry.

pink I'm not sure about other poster but to me that's like saying someone who is Japanese is English just because they're the first generation to be born here. It's not quite as black and white as that (excuse the pun)

I have always had similar remarks

I think often is from jealousy and for some it brings out their racist views

There's commenting on how easily someone tans and even commenting on how some people's skin break the race stereotypes (implying that race based on skin colour is artificial), and then there's calling dark skin dirty or telling someone that they look like a group with pejorative connotations.

Some of the comments about how easily you tan could just be envy from people who don't like their own white skin.

But none of the comments you mentioned are meant to make you feel good. Based on that alone, they should be stopped.