To think 30 is too old to start dating?

[lifeisaball]

I have been properly single for about 3 years now but have dated and seen people since then. I have always had issues when it comes to relationships, I am very aware I have an anxious attachment style and find I always tend to find myself with emotionally unavailable men. My self esteem has always been an issue and I seem to go a little crazy when I notice a man distancing himself for me, therefore pushing him away further. To be absolutely honest, I have never graciously let a man go, every single time a man has called things off with me I have made a fool out of myself and won't leave him alone until he physically has to block me.

I'm a 27 year old single mum and am in my third year at uni. I hadn't been actively dating until the start of the summer when I started online dating. I met a guy who completely swept me off my feet (I now understand he was love bombing me) and just as fast as he came on to the scene, he left just as fast. This completely broke me and I have behaved like an absolute crazy person towards him. He has had to block me on everything because I refused to accept it was over and I cringe at the thought of ever running into him in the future.

After this most recent episode, it has become very clear to me that I have a lot of issues that I have to deal with. I am going to pay privately and go and see a therapist as I am positive these issues stem from my childhood and the way I was raised.

My question is I would love to give myself 3 years to just concentrate on me, my daughter and my education. I would like to completely forget about meeting anyone at all for three years and start maybe dating if I'm in a good place when I'm 30. My issue is I worry that all the good men will be taken by then? Am I leaving it too late?

I don't want any more kids so that's not an issue. But realistically if I completely stop dating and being open to meeting people until I'm 30, will I end up alone?

I met DH when I was 30, don't worry.

Have you sought counselling? I recognised you straight away from all your threads

You need some help to work through this

Of course not OP! I think it’s fab you’re going to take a break and work on yourself. 30 is no age at all (I am 30 and sometimes feel very old —mainly when I look in magnifying mirrors—) What you’re planning is brilliant and I think you’ll find it a lot easier without your baggage than you do now. Saying all that and working on yourself is very brave xx

You’re over thinking it. It’s not a good idea to put a three year time frame on it. Just forget about meeting someone, focus on other things and live your life. If someone comes into it then great, if not, fine. If you’re still single in a few years then rethink how you feel about it then

Jesus. Im 33 and have been single for 5 years, looks like I’m fucked then, thanks op.

I’m 50 and hope to start dating at some point. I’m doomed!

There’s no age limit! I took two years out to focus on me it was the best thing I ever did. Met my husband after that when I was happy

My friend met her partner when she was 49
2 of my uncles were in their late 60s and met new partners. You're not exactly past it at 30

Yeah of course, absolutely noone ever in the whole world dates or gets married after 29

I don't think it's every too late! I do think the therapy sounds like a v good idea though.

Are you crazy?!

You are not even half way through life.

I am 64 and have a fabulous lover,

Well, whatever floats your boat, love..

Never give up. :-)

That's a brilliant plan, OP. Give yourself some time to grow.
30 is definitely not too old. I met my husband at 30 and married when I was 32. :-)

I was 33 when I met the perfect woman for me and it was an amazing sequence of sliding doors events that caused it. It didn't last sadly but you'd be surprised how good life can get in any manner or circumstances.

I met dh at 32

You can date at any age! x

I got together with my DH at 31 and married at 34. 30 is no age!!

Um, u can date whenever. Im 33 and just found a great chap

I met my husband at 36 and married at 39 and just had my first child at 43 so it's never too late

I met my husband age 36. He hadn't dated for 10 years following a major relationship awfulness situation. It's really fine give yourself the priority you deserve it

Im 50. You're fine

It’s more important that you’re in a good place to attract the right person, or rather avoid the wrong person.

I met my DH when I was 35 - you have time

I went back on the dating scene after 21 years, at age 40 and found my DP at 41..... very happy after 18 months. 😊

I think your plan to work on yourself first is perfect. Good luck!

Exactly what @CatPunsFreakMeowt said

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and some of what you wrote sounds like how I would have behaved at a younger age.