To think 30 is too old to start dating?

[lifeisaball]

I have been properly single for about 3 years now but have dated and seen people since then. I have always had issues when it comes to relationships, I am very aware I have an anxious attachment style and find I always tend to find myself with emotionally unavailable men. My self esteem has always been an issue and I seem to go a little crazy when I notice a man distancing himself for me, therefore pushing him away further. To be absolutely honest, I have never graciously let a man go, every single time a man has called things off with me I have made a fool out of myself and won't leave him alone until he physically has to block me.

I'm a 27 year old single mum and am in my third year at uni. I hadn't been actively dating until the start of the summer when I started online dating. I met a guy who completely swept me off my feet (I now understand he was love bombing me) and just as fast as he came on to the scene, he left just as fast. This completely broke me and I have behaved like an absolute crazy person towards him. He has had to block me on everything because I refused to accept it was over and I cringe at the thought of ever running into him in the future.

After this most recent episode, it has become very clear to me that I have a lot of issues that I have to deal with. I am going to pay privately and go and see a therapist as I am positive these issues stem from my childhood and the way I was raised.

My question is I would love to give myself 3 years to just concentrate on me, my daughter and my education. I would like to completely forget about meeting anyone at all for three years and start maybe dating if I'm in a good place when I'm 30. My issue is I worry that all the good men will be taken by then? Am I leaving it too late?

I don't want any more kids so that's not an issue. But realistically if I completely stop dating and being open to meeting people until I'm 30, will I end up alone?

I’m 29. Quick better top myself if I don’t get a boyfriend soon. Cheers OP.

Met my boyfriend at 47.

The main thing you need to learn about is what a healthy relationship looks like. One where you both treat each other as good friends in a supportive way and you can talk through problems constructively.

Good luck!

I wouldn’t even attach the three year time frame, just stop overthinking it. Enjoy your DD, education, whatever career shall follow and see what happens. If you meet someone then great, if not don’t worry. 30 isn’t too old at all but neither is 40 or 50. Whatever feels right.

There isn’t a deadline on dating, and you aren’t suddenly a decrepit crone when the clock strikes midnight on your 30th birthday. Relax, do what feels right for yourself and your DD but don’t think you need to rush.

I dated on and off throughout my 30s. I met my now OH when I was 37. Best relationship I've ever had and plan to be with each other forever.

So no, dating at 30 plus isn't too late.

I met my husband when I was 36. He was 27!
We’ve now been together for 9 years and married for 4! Oh, and have a 2 year old!

I started going out with my dp at 41..been together just over a year.

My mum met her fella aged 65..he's 18 years younger than her..only 13 years older than me!

Thanks everyone that took the time to answer this.

@SparklyMagpie I'm in counselling just now to help with addiction issues but I feel that helps more with the cravings and triggers rather than getting to the route cause of my issues. So I'm on the search for a suitable therapist which I don't mind paying for in the hopes I can get to the bottom of the awfulness I feel.