am i being a cheeky fucker?

[detectivebird]

we've just had our back garden fence done last week. we informed neighbours on both sides (garden is three-sided, so the left and right sides are facing into their gardens iyswim). we didn't expect them to offer any money to split the cost and indeed they didn't.

turns out when the fencers were here, both neighbours arranged for their back gardens to also be fenced on the remaining sides. it's being done this week. so we've paid for a side each for them!

dp and my mum reckons we should ask them for a contribution but this feels really cheeky to me. am i just being a scaredy-cat?

Depends who owns them I guess, some fences are shared and some belong to the individual properties. My first house, we owned 2 sides but not the 3rd, my second house both fences were shared so any costs were shared also or would need permission from the neighbour to do works if they fell down or one side wanted something different. If one side just wanted something different and the other didnt the one instigating the works should pay, which sounds like what you did. As someone else commented possibly fencing off the rest of their boundaries hadn't occurred to them until you did yours and it's just the case that they felt as one side of the garden was looking shiny and new the remaining fence was looking tatty in comparison, plus the fencing contractor was already on site and so mobilisation costs were possibly avoided? Becasue you initiated the works then you pay as possibly your neighbours would have put up with the previous fence until it fell down to avoid cost. However, now they have had works done it would be nice if they did offer to contribute but seems doubtful they will as the works have already been done. One thing people dont realise as well is that you should really put the good side facing your neighbour, I.e any fence posts should obviously be your side if you own the fence, follow what is there as a guide. It's complicated though as like I said before, ownership comes into it. Its nice to see you asked them anyway as the second house I owned my older neighbours waited until i was away having moved into my boyfriend's to be close to my dying father then nailed a huge fence inside the shared fence between us, without my permission and ignoring a developers covenant because they bought a terraced house and wanted privacy . My solicitor said I should have reported them to planning but i didnt as i wanted to sell up and didnt want to blight the sale.I had a shouting match in the garden with them and told them what I thought of them then sold the house to someone who had a son with a vast collection of electric guitars! Fortunately it was worse their side as it turned out as it was very high and dark their side and stopped their sunlight whilst it didn't affect mine so my buyer didn't even notice it.

You are being unreasonable. If you wanted a contribution you should have asked before getting the work done. You chose the fence and the builders that you wanted to use and was happy to pay. If you wanted a contribution then they should have been consulted. Now they’ve got mismatched fences, so understandably want to use the same contractors so they can have a matching fence. You’d be a massive cf to ask them for money now

YABU. You decided to get the job done knowing the costs. The builder would have contacted your neighbours to see whether they would also like the work done. I'd take it up with him/her. See whether they are willing to reduce your costs slightly for the extra work they've picked up.

Yes maybe they felt obliged to get the rest of he fencing done (or the mismatch was going to be annoying to live with) rather than them thinking "yippee, we've been waiting for OP to get that side done so we only need pay for two sides!"

It depends who is responsible for the fences doesn't it? You replaced your three fences and now they are doing their sides.So what?
I don't see why they should give you anything tbh.

You had new fencing, which left them with unmatched fencing. Don’t complain because they have now paid to have theirs matched. 🙄

i think they should make a contribution to the shared sides between our gardens!

I really don't see why. You chose the fence and the timing. If they hadn't got the rest of their fences done you wouldn't have been bothered. So really what's annoying you is that you think they now have something they like, and they didn't pay as much for it as you did. I truly don't see what that has to do with you. And they might not even like the fence that much, they just wanted it all to be matching

You could have approached them and discussed getting a new fence, talked about preferred design, got quotes etc. Then it would have been reasonable to expect them to contribute. You didn't though - you made all the decisions. And now you're annoyed that they're happy!

I personally would hate to have differing panels so would do the same in your neighbours shoes. Makes sense to keep it all the same, and by the same company.

If it was to be a joint project between the different households, then it should have been discussed from the very beginning.

You really can't at this stage, then go and ask them for a contribution.

You are a fence trend setter, OP.

again, i didn't want a contribution and i did consult both neighbours on each side twice. iabu!

YABU

YABU. You chose to change the fencing. Was all the fencing yours to change? You didn’t remove and change the fences that belong to them? On my terraced house I only own one fence - on the left. The right one belongs to my neighbour and the one at the back belongs to the house at the back.

Which boundary actually belongs to you? That's the only one you should be making any changes to. If you've offered them that you're paying for the fences, you can't turn round now and ask for money. They could've quite rightly said that you couldn't touch their fence.

You should go back to fencing guy and ask for a refund lol. All the extra business you have brought him. Gives your dh/mil something to do.

I am not that sure you are being unreasonable. I can see where you are coming from.

What did your neighbors actually say when you consulted with them?

@IamAporcupine they said 'oh yeah sounds lovely' etc, vague noises of that sort. and i asked them before getting quotes, and then let them know when the work was being done.

we informed neighbours on both sides

That is not asking. You didn't say in your OP you'd asked them at all. You also say that having informed them they didn't offer to contribute - there's the only answer you need here.

Glad you've accepted YABU here though, so good luck persuading the rest of the family.

I’m still puzzled over who owned the fences. Did you own all three fences?

well, I agree with you that they probably took advantage but I don't think you can go and ask for money now unfortunately.

If I was the neighbor and suddenly realised that now that you've done the job, my fence is mismatched, I would talk to you and ask the fencer to produce a new quote for 2x gardens, and split the final cost with you.

YOu were quite happy to pay for it all to begin with, what’s the problem now?

I agree with @cheeserton

Our neighbour did this. They asked the guy how much it would be to panel our side and then asked if we wanted it done. Obviously we needed to go ahead as it would have looked ridiculous otherwise, but we only paid the cost of panelling our side. They paid to have the fence erected on 3 sides of their garden. We were not, and should not have been, expected to pay for the fence being put up as we didn't choose to have it done in the first place. So you would be unreasonable to ask for money towards it now.

Well you were stupid "wrong" to pay for the two sides as, generally speaking, you would only be responsible for one side (and the rear) - but you would be a CF if you actually asked either of them for a contribution now.

You've actually replaced one of your neighbour's fences, lucky them. Or maybe they had three matching sides and you've come along and ruined one (as my MIL has just suffered).

Well by logic I guess you are probably responsible for 2 of the fences (one side and the rear) so only one of them benefited but then they've also paid for their next door neighbours the other side? Unless a row of 3.

It could be seen as an unexpected cost for the neighbours - maybe they didn’t want to pay for any new fencing at all, but now feel they have to so that it’s matching. YABU.