To think there’s something in this?

[MyMindsTellingMeNo]

This is going to make me sound a bit odd.

There was a guy at work, we dated for a few months then things ended.

When I first met him I just ‘knew’ from the first time I saw him that we would be together. I never told him how I felt about him and he never told me. It was two years after we met that we ended up dating. He left the job and I didn’t see him for about a year but I still never had any doubts about us being together, I ‘knew’ he would be back even though we didn’t keep in touch and I had no way of really knowing what he was up to. We started dating a few months after he came back to the job.

Now since we split up I’ve always felt like we’ll get back together. At first I thought ok I just miss him and hoped things would work out after liking him for so long and that feeling would pass once I started getting over him. But now it’s been a few months and that feeling hasn’t passed. It’s hard to explain but I feel like I’m just ‘waiting’ for him to be ready to try again. I’m not really waiting for him and we aren’t still in contact but I just can’t shake that feeling and I’m not sure why.

Am I mad? Or is just because subconsciously I want him back that’s making me feel like that? Has anyone had feelings about someone like that before?

Why did you split up?

Can you explain why him leaving his job also ended your relationship, op?

It didn’t. The OP has explained this a few times. They had never dated when he first worked at/left the company. They started dating after he came back to the company. He still works there now.

Sorry, I’ve re read it. The chronology is slightly confusing at first glance. Apologies, op. But... why did you split?!

I knew exactly when my DH - or DBoyfriend as he was then - was going to propose and I said to a colleague that he was going to do it and that he would do it that night. And he did. We'd only been going out for a month.

So I hope you're proved right but equally, you're sensible not to wait around and count on it - not least in case a better offer comes up

A month

Hmm, a friend of mine had this. She know a particular guy was the right person for her. They were in the same social cirlcle. He wasn't interested.

She didn't wait around and got on with her life, but she couldn't shake this feeling and she did, from a distance follow what he was up to.

He went off and did something, can't remember what, may have been counselling, and it was life changing for him, it sorted out a whole bunch of stuff from hom childhood. When he reappeared on the social scene, he quickly became friends with her and they soon started dating, and have now been married for 25 ish years.

The interesting thing to me though is that until he made that life changing step, he simply wasn't interested. He might never have got himself together to do it, and so they would never have got together.

I would say, don't hold your breath, and get on with life.

Surely if this man wanted to be with you ,as seriously,he would be doing so. You maybe can't let go of these feelings for him at the moment, but as you have said, you are not waiting around for him big time,so that's ok. But maybe you will have that big romance with him in the future, and your dreams will come true ! like a romantic movie, where everything has a perfect ending ha ha.

I’m guessing the reason you split up is bad?

I believe in gut feelings. You e been right about timings before (the baby, the day this Jan came back to work). Does your instinct feel like the day has passed? Or if not, when do you think it’ll happen?

*you’ve

*man, not Jan 😂

I think there's something in it 😊. But I like the idea of meant to be so I would 😁

Loads of couples split up then get back together again, after varying lengths of gap. I know several. And we all know Prince William and Kate Middleton!

Sorry why we broke up, it wasn’t a big fall out, no arguments or anything, he just said he felt like he couldn’t give me what I wanted.

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo no doesn’t feel like it’s passed yet, I’ve felt like it might be in the next month or so, we both have extra projects that are finishing over the next few weeks so who knows I might be back with an update or I’ve just been deluding myself about the whole thing.

I’ll be fine whatever happens, I’ll just carry on with what I’ve been doing and hope it works out but if not it wasn’t meant to be.

Why don’t you carry on living your life and being open to ew opportunities and if he is ready again and it’s what you want and right for you go for it! In the meantime just be open to whatever comes your way.

Thanks for clarifying. How long were you together? I’m guessing about 3 months?

I wouldn't set out to wait for him, having that attitude may mean you shut yourself off from other people, who may be a great match. Of course you can be open to dating him in the future but don't go all Miss Havisham

From your update I'd hazard a guess that the reason you split up was because he discovered you seriously believe yourself to have "psychic" powers.
Life's full of odd, weird co-incidences & they mean nothing more than that - co-incidences.
I had a dream when I was about 12 about one of my teachers getting married in Scotland, shortly before a big race (the Grand National??) My father bet once a year, on this race only, & gave us children a shilling for an each way bet with & a list of the runners. "Daddy, put sixpence each way on Highland Wedding for me" I said, "I had a dream." Sure enough it was a rank outsider that romped home at something like 40/1. The jockey or trainer also had the same surname as my teacher. Neither I nor anyone else ever thought I had woo woo abilities, just a remarkable & amazing piece of co-incidental good luck. That's because we're all pretty normal.

OP you sound deluded.

When a man 'wants' a woman, he doesn't let her go telling her that he can't give her what she wants.

He's broken up with you in the kindest possible way .... after he's figured out how deluded & obsessed you are with him & this picture you are painting in your head.

Move on from him, you sound obsessed & unhealthily infactuated with him.

OP, I think I know what you mean.

There's a man I've known for years, and the first time I met him I had a vision of us having sex. I knew it would happen.

It hasn't happened yet, and there's no reason to think it ever will. It's not something I would ever act on, or that I think about particularly, as he's very happy with his partner that he's been with a few years now. It doesn't affect my life or my relationship with him at all.

But I still know.

Oh, I just saw I misread you as 'not waiting' for him, when in fact you are! Please don't wait for him. No feeling is worth being 'on hold' for.

Yes. I felt this way about DH. Circumstances kept us apart for a year but I knew we'd end up getting married. Just knew he was the one, from the moment I met him. He felt the same.

My friend had this feeling too with her husband of 50+ years! They dated at school, split up for a while but she just knew they'd be together. So I do believe you can have a deep sense of knowing (which will indeed be impossible for some posters on here to relate to).

WinterHare So I do believe you can have a deep sense of knowing (which will indeed be impossible for some posters on here to relate to).

Clearly! I do wonder how many mumsnetters have relationships, given that the rules they apply to them are so strict. They must have such perfect relationships, where no-one ever gets annoyed, behaves wrongly or puts a foot out of line. Because obviously, if they did, they would be dumped immediately!

And all men must chase after women, making their desire for her very obvious, and then the relationship must proceed in a very linear, controlled fashion, meeting certain dates and expectations ("if you haven't moved in together by week 72, then he doesn't want you")!

Well, if they’ve split up and he shows zero signs of wanting to get back together - no amount if “I know we’re destined to be together, it’s written in the stars!” will make any actual difference.
You only hear about the ones who “knew” when it’s all worked out. The one’s that didn’t get their happy ending probably don’t tell anyone about it. Because they didn’t know, after all.

@QualCheckBot they must also do EXACTLY 50% of childcare and housework even if their wife is a SAHM and oldest child is 15.

I’ve never told him that I knew we would be together and I haven’t told him I know we’ll be together again, I might be mad but I’m not that mad

I don’t think I’m obsessed with him either, I don’t consciously think of him all the time. I’m not spending all my time waiting to be with him. It’s just when I think about moving on something tells me to stop and wait for him to be ready to try again. I’m not giving up on meeting someone else, if something else came along I’m open to that but I’m not actively looking either. I’m not actually that bothered about being in a relationship though, I’ve always been fine spending time by myself so I’m not obsessively feeling like I ‘need’ to be with him 🤷‍♀️