To burn the house down?

[MidiMitch]

Having two nights home alone as DH has taken DS to see the in-laws. Was having the loveliest time - a glass of Rose, watching celebs go dating, admiring my beautiful house with undisturbed cushions and a lack of plastic crap on the floor. And then...I saw it.. the spider. Let's call him Ted. Ted was sat, on my stairs, in my house, waiting for me. Ted is massive. Ted had a plan. Ted has been sucked up the hoover. But can Ted climb out? Shall I just burn the house down?

Spiders seem to love staircases don't they. I think they can climb out, maybe keep the hoover outside tonight

We have a Frank. He was took fast for the glass and card capture, so I tried to hoover him but he sprinted off. I even shut the cat in the conservatory with him but the cat didn't get him.

I've agreed now to leave him be as long as he stays out of the bedroom and bathroom, and keeps at least 10ft away from me.

Wtf? Climb out??? I have kept the Hoover in wait in case I find another one. That is not what I want to hear ( I'm always worried they might be pregnant- remember how many babies at the end of Charlotte's Web???)

Ladies buy a tin of Raid Ant and Cockroach spray it kills spiders too! I am currently armed as we speak lol

Demand your DH come home immediately to empty the hoover (into a fire) and then allow him to bugger off away again.

We had a Gary. Gary was a massive, hulking fury bastard that I heard before I saw him. He couldn’t half move though, despite his massive frame.
I had to pretend to like Gary and talked to him as I don’t want toddler Dd to pick up on my fear.
I hate Gary. He is still lurking somewhere in my kitchen. Gary needs to fuck off and die.

I love my "pet" spiders,they keep the flies down. Much rather have a Sidney than flies!

This was in my child’s room the other morning Same size star on light switch for scale

I'd only burn the place down if there were cockroaches. Vile, vile things.

Spiders eat the more minging things, like earwigs and flies. Much rather have a spider than those manky things. I just let them scuttle about doing their spider thing. Until their legs are approaching the size of the glass (which I use with a postcard to catch and put them out humanely) at which point they either have to start paying rent or they are out. My bank balance has not increased. I think you can guess their choice in this regard....probably have no pockets on which to keep their money anyway....

My colleague left her phone on an outside table at work yesterday.

The sun was shining on the screen and as she grabbed it, she thought 'That screen crack has got bigger'.

Then she remembered she no longer has a cracked screen. It was a spider sitting on top of her phone.

She screamed and threw it.

It hit the wall.

Now she has a cracked screen again.

Pointless but amusing story for your Wednesday night

Don't kill the spiders . I'm terrified too but could never actually kill one.

I do t kill them. I’m too scared of the fuckers to get close enough to kill them

Just burn the hoover. Its fine.

I don’t really know how or when we have been persuaded that spiders are dangerous, scary, unpleasant, to be feared.

They are small, harmless, useful and easily removed.

I would understand if you said ‘there is a lion in my front room’, but a spider is small and either squishable (for the cruel) or ‘paper and glass-able’ ( for the kind)

I left a dead body of one in the middle of living room for a day and since then I haven't seen the others. 😁
Giant bastards.

However, I don't have a problem with spiders if they keep to themselves somewhere in a corner.
Spiders bring luck and money. But all that goes out of window if I have the giant crawling on my leg..

Don't kill them, they can't harm you ffs!

Burn it down!! This fucker was on my stairs last night... luckily I have one of those handled grabby things and chased him onto the landing til I caught him and chucked him out the window. I felt EPIC afterwards- such a sense of achievement!

Ahh does anyone else read these threads and now feel like their skin is crawling? I'm convinced Frank, Gary or Ted are gunna come visit me!

Op- could you not empty Ted into the outside bin?

pimms-that's one clever spider-ultra disguise tactic- must be a SPYDER..
Worral that cracked me up.

Here's my spider tale and this was 2 nights ago. I kept hearing a gradual crackling noise in my bedroom and suddenly out of one of those thick plastic grocery type bags-- that should've been put awayout pops enormous thick n hairy Butch! - dh had to put it out the window! Nearly shit myself! I can handle the smaller ones out of the window they go but this was evil, evil I tell you and if I had been alone and had a pan to hand well you know where this is going... took a while to get back to sleep... kept imaging I could hear crackling.... brrrrrr... shivers thinking about it 🕸

This is in my bathroom, he moved in while we were on holiday. It's his bathroom now.

What sort of hoover?
I feel quite safe with a Henry as the tube is so long, and the end is easily blocked with tinfoil.
But an upright would terrify me.

Either way turn the hoover back on for 20 minutes. He’s bound to be dismembered by then.

Arghhhhhh @biscuitmachine 😳😳😳

Spider season no no no no no

Just can't bear them, I'm terrified of them.

For some reason, daddy long legs spiders aren't scary and we have several of them that I hope will have eaten the big bastards.

I can remember not being afraid of them when I was a small child, but one day I saw a huge one in the garden, found myself running in terror and my phobia had arrived. No reason, no logic, it just is.