Am I in the wrong

[Nevaehy12]

Ok, I'm pregnant with our third child and today I decided to clean and move around the girls bedroom as you do (nesting has kicked in).New school year, new room etc. Oh comes home from work and kicks off because I shouldn't have done it today, because hes fed up of the crap! All I asked him to do was to take the rubbish outside and his response was ' in the rain?? I've been at work all day I shouldn't have to do this shit'!! He then proceeds to rant about how shit the relationship is and all I do is cost him a fortune!! The rest of the house is clean and tidy. I cant see what I've actually done wrong???!!

Sounds like there's more to it.. have your asked him? or is he always a twat?

Hes always a twat to be honest!! Tomorrow I'm just going to stay in my pyjamas all day and do nothing! No housework, not cook!

Sounds like he's in a shit mood, had a hard day and doesn't want to do anything else stepping in the door. It opened a can of worms there though, sounds like you need a proper chat.

Pity you’re having a 3rd child with him if he’s always a twat
Did your older kids hear him ranting about how shit the relationship is?

If he's always a twat then I will assume the third child was not planned. How does he feel about it? Does he actually want it?

Nevaehy12
Hes always a twat to be honest!! Tomorrow I'm just going to stay in my pyjamas all day and do nothing! No housework, not cook!

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Sounds like a plan.

He shouldn't go off on one at you like that, it's nasty. Don't put up with it please.

Can you not take rubbish out?

Even if he's had a bad day, that's no way to speak like that to you (especially pregnant!) if you only asked him to take rubbish out...

Hes always a twat to be honest!!

I have to ask, if him being an arsehole all the time is true, why are you still with him and why would you continue to bring more children into such an abusive relationship? Is this type of dysfunction something you find acceptable?

I could put the rubbish out, but as I'm 7 months pregnant I dont think lugging heavy black bags down the stairs and outside into the bins is such a good idea, but I did do it as he didnt.

Hes not always an arse, but I just couldn't figure out if I had majorly done something wrong?

@Rachelover40 'dont put up with it please'

I always love it when a poster is being helpful but so polite at the same time. It really reinforces how people should be treated.

OP you are growing his child. He places himself above you because he's 'at work all day', yet you and your body are working harder than he ever could. Out your foot down, and if he persists, tell him to leave.

Onlythelonelywelcome

Can you not take rubbish out?

...

Well yes. If OP, as she is pregnant, is normally lying in bed being fed (peeled grapes) and whatever else takes her fancy and is generally being treated like a queen, I suppose she COULD stretch to taking the bins out herself, this once.

However, if her OH just decides that she should simply because he thinks that he works = become an invalid when I walk in the door...

No.

I never ask him to help with anything, I do everything with the kids and I mean everything, he doesnt do nappies,bath the kids, put them to bed, I do it all and I'm ok with it but surely he could help by just taking the black bags out for once.

Why did you decide to have another baby with him if he's so shit?

He sounds like a treat.
Glad you managed to get the rubbish out.

You created the rubbish take it to the bins! He was also being a twat but you could have done it yourself

It wasn't planned but I dont regret it

If u read it I did do it myself! I'm talking about three bin bags that I asked him to take down the stairs whilst I carried on moving wardrobes, teles, chest of drawers whilst looking after three kids!! Sorry superwoman!

This is unbelievable. Seriously, what do you see in this man? He'll sit on his arse and watch you run yourself ragged and not just not offer to help but actually become borderline abusive when you ask him for help?! Your children are seeing and basing their expectations for future relationships on this.
Your husband is a knob.

I'm not going to post and ask for advice on here again!

Look after yourself

I could construct an interpretation where you were being a bit annoying, ie:

1. pointless cleaning is pretty annoying - did the girls rooms need rearranging? It seems like they didn't, and you were just doing it because you were overtaken by the urge to be all busy and bustle about. I've lived with a pregnant woman and the "nesting" urge is deeply frustrating - suddenly she would get fixated on how the cupboards "had to be" cleaned out right that second, or that no rest was possible until the lawn was mowed. I just let her get on with it, but it was annoying*

2. being pounced on to do a job the second you get home is also annoying, and I might snap a bit if my significant other suddenly demanded I take out some rubbish (that THEY had accumulated) the moment I was through the door.

Does this justify ranting and saying hurtful things? No, he still sounds like a tool.

*BTW, this was a friend I was living with, not a partner. I'm female and it wasn't my child she was pregnant with.

Tbh I wouldn't be thrilled if walked in the door and I was asked to tidy up someone else's mess immediately. It depends how you asked him. But obviously you know him better than us - if he's always a "twat" then talk to him about it, don't put up with it.

Sounds like he had a stressful day. My hubby doesn't want to do anything when he gets in. If i want something doing I make sure I chat to him first. Ask how his day was. Gauge what mood he's in. Then ask. And I always say "when you're ready could you" rather than "do this please". My hubby functions better with notice even for small tasks 🤣.

However he was unreasonable to go on about relationship being boring. What did he expect to achieve from that when you're 7 months pregnant?