19 yo DD

[waitingfor40]

Our Dd(19) comes and goes as she pleases, stays at home maybe twice a week, she does travel for work 3 nights a week and rest of time she's at her friends. She has a lovely big bedroom, with tv, sky, Netflix ect which we pay for (in price of out package we bought the extra Q box) we recently decorated the room and put all new furniture in for her.
NOW the AIBU we have a younger child who is in a small room and would benifit greatly from the extra space, would I be unreasonable to switch them rooms ? Elder dd is never here, she worked Friday came home got changed (10 mins) went out, sat afternoon came home grabbed some clothes (5 mins) and went out she then wasn't seen until yesterday (Tuesday) 5 pm when she came in grabbed her work stuff (5 mins ) and went again.
I'm at my wits end with her she says she will change and start coming home more but just doesn't, I'm getting to the point I don't even want her living here anymore!
What shall I do, let her carry on acting Like this or shock her and tell her to move out?

i know my parents "lost me' from the ages of 18 till about 25. I was too busy having fun. It is the natural order of things.

Now we are super close. I see them really regularly through choice. If they had demanded more of my time during that period it may well have done irreparable damage to our relationship.

Looking back they must have missed me during that period. i have kids that age now and yes it does seem as if we pass in the night, but that is how it should be. I'm sure when they get older we'll see more of them.

Don't push her away op by being too demanding. Like the school kids assembly song

Love is like a magic penny
Hold it tight and you won't have any
Lend it, spend it and you'll have so many,
they'll roll all over the floor.

OP I have a 19 year old and she has friends and goes out and has her work and often I am mostly the taxi driver for her (as we moved recently and she needs to go back) Its normal. She is still the lovely girl I have known all her life. She will be off to uni this september and I know we wont hear a great deal from her (apart from when she needs money I guess) However I also know its normal..

Swap the rooms. When we moved last month our youngest got the biggest room. She is the one who will be here for 3-4 years before moving off fair for her to have the big room. Explain to your dd why you are swapping (you are rarely here so it feels fair that younger sibling gets to enjoy the big room) and then let her know she is always welcome home..

I have 4 children they all know that no matter what happens they can ALWAYS ALWAYS come back home to dad and I... I wouldn't want it any other way I want them to know that through out their life. Dad and I have their back

It's clear to see why she's out so much given your attitude.

I was switched to the smaller room the moment I hit 18. My sister was 14 and had the box room for 9 years.

I didn’t have a choice, it just happens, but I understood and saw no reason to complain.

Why are you annoyed she is never there? She is an adult as long as she is respectful keeping tidy etc then what is the issue.

Moving rooms is fine but I would speak to her about it and ask her. If you outline the reasons why explaining your older dd needs the space then she should be adult enough to understand and compromise. If you go in all guns blazing then she will resent you.

You sound like you don’t like her tbh.

OP never came back, did she?

Another day, another fuck and run at MN Towerz... 😪

Wow. 19yo acts like a 19yo. What a surprise.