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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you can still reply if you're ill?

30 replies

Wagamamastratford · 28/08/2019 08:03

My boyfriend is ill, and I texted him yesterday. Nothing massively important that couldn’t wait to be answered until next time I see him face to face, but AIBU to think that if you can come on WhatsApp 2-3 times every hour you can reply to my message? I get that he’s ill, but why is he coming on so often if he’s that ill and not able to talk?

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/08/2019 08:05

Have you never had the energy to passively look at messages but not feel arsed to reply? Maybe you need to get off your phone a bit?

bigchris · 28/08/2019 08:07

Could he be talking to people at work about work

Or do you think he's talking to other women

DocusDiplo · 28/08/2019 08:07

What is it that you need?
Have you asked him if he needs anything as he is unwell?
Is he generally a dick that you're being so arsey with him? Backstory?

Goodlookingcreature · 28/08/2019 08:07

Jeez you sound exhausting

ShatnersWig · 28/08/2019 08:08

Is there a law that says people must answer your messages within a giving time limit otherwise you will assume that their either not ill or they are dumping you or something.

You say yourself it's nothing massively important that couldn't wait until you next see him. So what's the issue?

Are you naturally anxious or something?

BillywilliamV · 28/08/2019 08:11

Depends what you texted to him, have you asked him how he is? Shown a bit of sympathy maybe? Or just sent a random it of admin that you admit yourself can wait..?

HJWT · 28/08/2019 08:12

Yes, he could of replied to you. But asking that on MN is a big NO NO! On here your not allowed to expect respect from your OH.

If he can pick up his phone multiple times he can easily send a quick text.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 28/08/2019 08:12

He probably can't be arsed to get into a conversation. Why are you repeatedly checking when he's been online?

flouncyfanny · 28/08/2019 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinspain · 28/08/2019 08:15

I mean, if you have a cold or something then yes, it shouldn't take you 24 hours to reply to a message. If you've got a sickness bug or something, then maybe. If you are serious and not in a new/casual relationship then he should text you back. If you were an acquaintance or something, then it would be more normal not to text back if you're busy/ill.

I haven't ever been in a serious relationship where someone would take that length of time to get back to me unless they're angry/something serious has happened/they're in a place with no signal.

StockTakeFucks · 28/08/2019 08:19

Or go round and check on him?

Seriously?

purplebutterfly90 · 28/08/2019 08:20

I don't think you sound exhausting. I think it's perfectly reasonable to want a reply from your boyfriend. He should have replied, every just a quick, short message would've sufficed.

Pretenditsaplan · 28/08/2019 08:21

Have you never felt like crap and seen a message that you think ill deal with that later and then because of being ill you forget you read the message and didnt respond. So your online but your not ignoring anyone on purpose you justeither forgot you hadnt alrwady responded or forgot there was even a message. When your ill its easily done

VincentVanGoughandhisear · 28/08/2019 08:34

How do you know he's been on Whatsapp 3 times in an hour?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 28/08/2019 08:35

Did you ask how he was and things, or is it just a query that can wait?

Original poster
Wagamamastratford · 28/08/2019 09:26

Just called him a few times to check on him before work, not picking up. Even though he's been online on WhatsApp before and after my calls, it's so hard to have sympathy for him when he's like this.

OP posts:
daisypond · 28/08/2019 09:31

You called him a few times before work? It’d be annoying to be on the receiving end of that, even if he wasn’t ill.

Original poster
Wagamamastratford · 28/08/2019 09:32

You called him a few times before work? It’d be annoying to be on the receiving end of that, even if he wasn’t ill.

Why? Hmm he's not working, he's at home. Just called to check on him, that's all.

OP posts:
expatinspain · 28/08/2019 09:37

Have you never felt like crap and seen a message that you think ill deal with that later and then because of being ill you forget you read the message and didnt respond. Sure, if it's from a friend/colleague, but I can honestly say I've never taken over 24 hours to reply to my partner or family, as I'm a normal person and know they'd be worried.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 28/08/2019 09:37

Are you sure he's actually on WhatsApp? My phone sometimes shows me as being online and active even if I'm not. If its not an important message that needs a reply then I would leave him to rest. You know he is not feeling well so let him have time to chill out and concentrate on feeling better.

I do find it odd you keep checking how often he is online though.

The4ks · 28/08/2019 09:40

Well I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect a quick reply to a text and this would piss me off too.
Can't understand people saying the opposite tbh

expatinspain · 28/08/2019 09:41

OP, no point in asking this question on here as in the parallel universe of MN you shouldn't expect anything from anyone. In the normal world, people don't ignore the messages/calls of people who love them as they know that the person will be worried.

makingmammaries · 28/08/2019 09:41

OP, I also think he's being a bit rude not to answer at all. What is the point of a relationship if you're not allowed to ask how someone is when they're ill? That seems a bit weird to me and I would be wondering why. I'd probably hang off, but get increasingly annoyed.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 28/08/2019 09:43

Have you never felt like crap and seen a message that you think ill deal with that later and then because of being ill you forget you read the message and didnt respond.

Nope, and I'm currently recovering from an operation. My partner, family, friends all get replies, as do anyone from work.

It's easy to see on WhatsApp when someone has last been online. It's not stalking, it's there in front of you as you click on their name, unless they turn it off - but really, who would be so petty?

NoBaggyPants · 28/08/2019 09:47

Why are you checking his WhatsApp status several times an hour? Do you realise how stalkerish that makes you sound?

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