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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be sick and tired of this?

38 replies

impatientwoman · 27/08/2019 20:16

DP is doing my head in! He has a teenage DD who lives with us as he has full custody and we have 3 DC together so there are 6 of us living here!
All he does is moan about the house! It's not as bad as what he makes out. I'm trying my best to clean after 6 people including myself while looking after 4 children including a toddler!
No one helps me!! Whenever DP is off work he's either asleep or he goes out! But it's MY fault the house is a shithole! It's hard making sure the kids are all ok and keeping the house immaculate! DSD is 15 and she's messy and doesn't help out at all. My two older DC are 6&7 and they do as they're told but I have to keep on at them but they're really messy too, as kids are I suppose! I have no time for myself because I'm busy trying to keep a happy household but I'm completely on my own!
I'm suffering from stress! My hairs literally falling out from it, I'm always tense and I rarely ever feel calm!

Does anyone on here have a houseful yet keep their house immaculate? If so what is your secret??

Also I'm ready for the LTB comments lol

OP posts:
Forgotmycoat · 27/08/2019 20:26

Op. Close your eyes and imagine the bliss your life would be to not have to clean up after a lazy shit and his lazy dd. Never having to hear him moan and complain about the state of the house, while his majesty does NOTHING.

Now imagine the added bliss of childfree EOWs, while your 3 dc are off trashing ex's house.

You, yes, YOU, op, could make this fantasy a reality.

Your health and hair and sanity would thank you forevermore.

Redshoeblueshoe · 27/08/2019 20:32

Next time he has a day off get up early, and go out on your own.
Don't take your phone.
Then when you have had a nice long relaxing day go home and complain about the mess he hasn't cleared up

wildcherries · 27/08/2019 20:32

Well, if he isn't prepared to do his bit (hate 'help out'), he needs to deal with it as is. But of course, he should do part of the housework. And his daughter should be told to as well. They're CF.

Stompythedinosaur · 27/08/2019 20:36

Why on earth does he think the house is solely your responsibility? What can he possibly say to defend that position.

Maybe write down and divide all jobs between you, with a chunk for the 15 yo and a few things for the 5 and 6 yos too.

Loubuz · 27/08/2019 20:39

All he does is moan about the house!

Then you say "fucking clean it then" Smile

ragged · 27/08/2019 20:43

My rule is that all adult-sized people are responsible for cleaning the house.
You are one of 3 adult size people in your home. Not required to do a minute more housework than the others bother to do.

Silenttype · 27/08/2019 20:56

@Forgotmycoat

😂 Brilliant!

Hooferdoofer37 · 27/08/2019 21:00

@Forgotmycoat I think we should just copy & paste your response for all the OPs that live with lazy, moaning arseholes; it's awesome!!

cacklingmags · 27/08/2019 21:12

Hi is an arse, and rude. If your hair is falling out you are under serious stress that is affecting your health. You need to stop him bullying you like this. I think you will have to stop trying to please him, he may be enjoying his power as a big old moaner. Tell him, no more, he has to do some housework or have a dirty house. Nothing wrong with a dirty house with all those kids. He is not treating you respectfully.

Bloggersdone · 27/08/2019 21:20

OP, why are you standing for this?

CSIblonde · 27/08/2019 21:26

Have you actually said step up & pull your weight? If he doesn't see it as his job stop cooking for him & say you were too busy cleaning to cook. Also 15,6 & 7 means they're old enough to keep their room tidy & put toys back in a crate at the end of the day. No TV or internet if they dont.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/08/2019 21:30

Okay, LTB Grin

Really though, you don’t have to put up with this moaning arse. Do you work outside the home? What does he do that makes your life easier, better, happier? Anything?

Cherrysoup · 27/08/2019 21:34

How is it your job to do all the cleaning? I would definitely be assigning jobs to him and his dd. If not completed, they don’t get fed, clothes washed or pocket money for the dd. Why is she doing nothing?

Original poster
impatientwoman · 27/08/2019 23:12

DSD is very lazy, even he tells her to clean up after herself but she doesn't listen. His excuse is the typical "I work all day you don't" I'm a SAHM and apparently I can relax and chill out whenever I want but he contradicts himself there because I'm lazy apparently if I nap when the baby naps!
He used to do his bit but HES turned into the lazy one not me.
I've also told him how hard it is, but apparently he knows single mothers who have loads of kids and they keep their house immaculate Hmm
Hats off to anyone who does

OP posts:
MotherOfSoupDragons · 27/08/2019 23:18

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

pigeononthegate · 27/08/2019 23:22

Your DP is a selfish cunt who sees you as a domestic appliance.

I sympathise about the teenage DSD, my teenagers are lazy and slovenly too, but can be induced to pull their weight by the combined efforts and example of DH and I, though it's exhausting and I frequently get annoyed.

You haven't a snowball in hell's chance of getting your DSD to behave like a decent member of the household while her father is behaving like a selfish lazy pig and openly disrespecting you. Your other children will go the same way. I'd lose the dead weight if I were you. Nobody needs a "partner" who does nothing but create more work.

pickme · 27/08/2019 23:26

Next time he mentions the single mother just say
"Yes of course you are right, I expect it's because they don't have to tidy up after lazy bastards, so theirs you case off you pop.

Wildorchidz · 27/08/2019 23:31

I have no idea how you put up with this. Is there one single thing about him that you find attractive?

PickAChew · 27/08/2019 23:34

The only way you can keep it immaculate is for all the able bodied people in the house to pick up their shit after themselves. I have a severely autistic 13yo who at least empties his plate into the bin and puts his cup in the sink. It's not rocket science and not and act made impossible by the weight of a dick.

Mumshappy · 27/08/2019 23:40

I'm a single mum of three and my house is very tidy. This is only because I don't have all the extra work associated with a lazy manchild. I've been there and wont ever again. I would seriously look at how your life could be easier if you weren't together. He doesn't sound pleasant to live with.

DoomsdayCult · 27/08/2019 23:49

If the OP actually put 8hrs a day into cleaning, her home would not be a shit hole. I cannot for the life of me fathom how SAHP is at all “stressful.” I am truly shocked at everyone calling anyone supporting a dead beat no job partner and 4 kids on their earnings alone as “lazy”.

This strikes me as rather sexist. If the OP were a SAHD I think the reactions would be very different.

Genderfree · 28/08/2019 00:08

Doomsday the OP shouldn’t have to pick up after a grown as man and a 15 year old and a SAHP with 4 children is not dead beat. A working partner doesn’t get the right to sit on his arse during their time off. You sound like an MRA.

FlamedToACrisp · 28/08/2019 00:09

@DoomsdayCult
If the OP actually put 8hrs a day into cleaning, her home would not be a shit hole.

And why should she do 8 hours' cleaning a day? While she's doing that, who would be feeding the baby, taking the kids to school, doctor appointments, cooking, shopping, gardening, car maintenance, etc? Would her DH take his turn at 8 hours of cleaning on one of his days off? Would he bollocks!

LetsTryToLetGoOfAnger · 28/08/2019 00:31

YANBU to feel annoyed Flowers

DoomsdayCult · 28/08/2019 00:34

“the OP shouldn’t have to pick up after a grown as man“

Neither should the OPs DH have to financially support a grown ass woman. But that is the division of labour they both signed up for. SAHP runs the house, working partner makes the money that pays for everything. They are both hard work.

It is just plain wrong to make out the SAHP as some sort of over-stretched martyr and the working parent a lazy bastard.

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