What on earth is this mealtime snobbery about?

[Diemme]

At 6.45 this evening, DH and I went to sit outside at front of the house to have a coffee and enjoy the last of the sun - we live in a close with benches outside the houses. Almost immediately our neighbours came back from a dog walk. They chatted for a few minutes and then she said she was going in to make dinner. I mentioned just in small talk that we'd already eaten. And I swear she did a head tilt and tinkly laugh as she said gosh that's early. Then she went inside and her husband arranged his face in a sort of patronising / pitiful expression and asked why we'd eaten so early. It's not just them, ive come across it loads of times. It's as if there's a bizarre sense of superiority to eating at 8 rather than say 6.

The lunch and dinner debate - what a minefield - particularly oop North . First day with new work colleagues- I’d been told to act more in the role of supervisor . On asking when everyone planned to take their lunch break I got the response “We eat us dinners at us desks” . Still remember how I felt - put down for being a soft Southerner.

I bet it's the same people wailing that some people earn too much and it's not faaaiiiirrrr who are smugly sitting down and relaxing as a family by 5pm.

Why are you assuming that people are smug about eating early or have that attitude? It's quite an assumption.

I like having my dinner early,always have done.But if i was going out for dinner say about 8,i would just have a snack about 5 to tide me over.

Absolutely, @LaMarschallin.

I'm not originally from the UK, and usage has changed in my home country since my childhood, anyway, but my default is 'breakfast, lunch, dinner' (and we eat far too late to need anything more before bedtime, so never use 'supper', though we've been invited out for 'suppers' when living elsewhere in England, which translate to something like lasagne, salad and a bottle of wine around the kitchen table, not a 'dinner party').

But now we live somewhere where, regionally, my 'dinner' is their 'tea', so I also end up issuing weirdly explicit after-school invitations.

Agree about work determining things to an extent.

It really does make a difference, doesn't it?
We've got some farmers in the family who are up (to get ready for milking) by 5am.
They're ravenous by 6pm and I can quite see why.

Other jobs mean you don't get in until 7:30pm so the evening meal is a bit later from necessity.

(Although it would be lovely to be able to fit mealtimes around the healthiest way to eat, I suppose. Never had that privilege.)

@IdahoGreen

So glad it's not just me

We've got some farmers in the family who are up (to get ready for milking) by 5am. They're ravenous by 6pm and I can quite see why.

The farming reference got me thinking randomly about Enid Blyton's Six Cousins at Mistletoe farm, where 'genteel' vs 'practical' mealtimes become an issue when the city sophisticate cousins come to live with the 'country' cousins on their family farm. The two older city cousins are initially sneery about the absence of thinly-cut sandwiches and cake for afternoon tea at four o'clock, and the much more hearty 'high tea' that happens instead at six, because that amount of food and that mealtime is what suits hard physical labour and early hours on the farm but which codes as 'country bumpkins stuffing themselves as a weird time' for the city cousins until they start loving it--.

I think when I was little and read it first I didn't understand what the issue was, or why Aunt Linnie, when the city cousin's mother comes on a visit, makes a point of arranging to have 'proper afternoon tea' for her for once, even though they're in the middle of haymaking. It clearly codes as 'civilised' and 'lady like' and has class connotations as well.

When we eat depends on who's doing what.

Guides/Scouts/Netball/Drama club/whatever affects each day's mealtime. Some days it's 5;45, some days it's half seven.

In 2019, I think the strangest thing is to reach adulthood and be surprised that other people have different eating habits.

Sorry to slightly derail the thread OP but a mumsnet request for a diagram must never be ignored.

@Tarlatan sorry for the basic diagram I've just done this on my phone. Back garden is a small triangle , I often have a fox/chicken/grain scenario with the children if I want to hang the washing out or do anything round the back really. (Small child plus baby that are mini tornadoes and need eyes on them at all times)

So due to this the front garden is most useable even though it's oh so common and it's even on a steep hill so everyone can see what we are up to

We had dinner before going to a football match in Barcelona that kicked off at 9. We ended up being befriended by some Spaniards before the match in a bar. They saw we had no food, and anxiously shepherded us over to their favourite sandwich stall because it would be too busy at Half Time.

When we assured them that we'd already eaten at 7.30, they thought it was the funniest thing in the world. They were literally in gales of laughter.

@IdahoGreen

You're right. And it's odd since Enid B. was supposed to err on the side of snobbery.

The city cousins (like awful "Smellisande") had to adapt to the country cousins ways.
And they were the Right Ways!

I totally agreed with that when I read it.
Now I think, what if the farm had burned down down and the country cousins had to adapt...?

A very different book

It's a well know fact that you shouldn't eat within 4 hours of going to bed for better long term health and digestion. Let them be. It's you who'll have the last laugh.

We've got some farmers in the family who are up (to get ready for milking) by 5am. They're ravenous by 6pm and I can quite see why.
As I keep posting on these threads my farmer's wife mother had to produce the following meals:
Cooked breakfast around 7.45
Morning coffee and biscuits 10.30
Dinner three courses 12.30
Piece (sandwiches and cakes with tea)if harvest 3.00
Tea cooked meal 5.30

It's a well know fact that you shouldn't eat within 4 hours of going to bed for better long term health and digestion. Let them be. It's you who'll have the last laugh.

Yup.

That'll teach those A&E doctors on shifts when they can't get home and eat until 9pm (if they leave at 8pm).
They'll then have to stay up until 1:30 am for the health benefits (making sure they get their meal down in half an hour of getting through the door).
Then they'll get up at, say, 6am to get in for the next shift.

And their patients won't mind at all about being treated by people who may be a bit sleepy.

@derxa

That sounds exactly what the mother in the farming family I'm related to does.
As well as helping on the farm and all the usual house and child care.
And when it's turkey time at Christmas with plucking (the plucking machine leaves a bit to be desired) and trussing...

Exhausting.

LaMarshallin
I don't know she did it. She did the milking and fed calves as well.

DP and I are both up at 5am every day and home by 4.30, so the latest we'll eat is around 6ish.

exDH's family were French and we always had dinner at about 10pm, I spent most of that relationship with indigestion .

I also remember having a friend when I was about 11 who was distinctly upper middle class compared to my most definitely working class. They'd call their dinner their evening meal; I told my parents who still think it's funny and take the piss to this day.

They'd call their dinner their evening meal; I told my parents who still think it's funny and take the piss to this day.

I’ve always called our evening meal dinner.

Your parents still take the piss out of this years later-that’s rather bitchy.

I grew up being told we ate late because ‘we weren’t poor’. We weren’t rich either. I think it was an attempt to distinguish from the unwashed masses???

I did ask when I was young and it was explained that ‘poor people’ had to get up early to go to work, ate early and went to bed early. Whereas, ‘rich people’ slept in, had late breakfast, late lunch, afternoon tea and then a late dinner and stayed up late because they could sleep in. I was always confused as a child as it was obvious we weren’t rich and there was none of this sleeping in business, although there was a decent afternoon tea.

You burn less of the calories off if you eat later. How many late eaters are obese I wonder?

I bet it's the same people wailing that some people earn too much and it's not faaaiiiirrrr who are smugly sitting down and relaxing as a family by 5pm.

No, I just gave a decent locally and my lucky Husband comes in from his decent job at 6pm and eats. But, I have never even thought to to judge anyone at what time they eat.

My colleague eats late and I've just informed her how very posh she is. She did laugh.

I have a decent job locally

@Diemme
Its amazing isn't it. How do people cope?