What on earth is this mealtime snobbery about?

[Diemme]

At 6.45 this evening, DH and I went to sit outside at front of the house to have a coffee and enjoy the last of the sun - we live in a close with benches outside the houses. Almost immediately our neighbours came back from a dog walk. They chatted for a few minutes and then she said she was going in to make dinner. I mentioned just in small talk that we'd already eaten. And I swear she did a head tilt and tinkly laugh as she said gosh that's early. Then she went inside and her husband arranged his face in a sort of patronising / pitiful expression and asked why we'd eaten so early. It's not just them, ive come across it loads of times. It's as if there's a bizarre sense of superiority to eating at 8 rather than say 6.

@MilkTrayLimeBarrel there's so many things to do in the evening time! I'd be really annoyed if I just had to hang around my house till 8/9pm to eat dinner. I'm a SAHM so I want to get out in the evening even just for a bit of exercise or see a friend.

Nobody is saying that it is middle/upper class to have supper in the sense of a snack before bed in addition to your main evening meal. That’s what most people understand by “supper” and call that meal.
It REALLY isn’t. It’s what most people YOU know call a snack before bed. Everyone I knew growing up called your evening meal “supper” unless you were going out or having guests, then it was dinner. The meal in the middle of the day was Lunch and Tea was bread and butter followed by a slice of cake or a crumpet with a cup of tea at 5. It really doesn’t matter what you call it but assuming your own way is the most common is a bit silly. It’s the most common in your area.

I don't know about snobbery but in the country where we live (Mediterranean) the eating times are so different that pre 6pm really does seem alien to me! Here evening meals are post 10pm, some people I know will only be finishing a proper sit down lunch near to five!

I like to have dinner earlier. It’s healthier to eat before 7pm

Yes it's a class thing in the UK, I've noticed it many times too. I went to school with children from both traditionally working class backgrounds and middle class backgrounds and all of the working class families had their dinner around 5-6pm and called it 'tea' whilst the middle class families had their dinner around 8pm and called it dinner or supper. It may also be different in different regions.

People who eat later and make a point about telling you are signalling that they are (or want to be seen as) middle class.

We usually have it about 6, DH suffers from heartburn if he goes to bed too soon after eating a meal so if he eats too late then he can’t go to bed til much later.

its tea!... i eat with the kids about 5 ish, it would be earlier if we lived nearer (non driver) we are rural 1.2 miles there and back, so we are v. hungry when we come home, plus school dinner is 12.30 so by then i think your ready.

Meal name and time snobbery seem really dated.

I used to eat my evening meal later (8-9) when I was childless and often worked late, and then earlier when we had children and wanted to all sit down to eat together as a family (5-6). Now meal times move around depending on who is in and what the schedule is.

We often eat earlier because we get up early and don't want to eat just before bed.

I grew up having afternoon tea after school and an evening meal at about 7, but how many working adults have afternoon tea on a regular basis?

Eaten at different times depending on routine for work and children. Usually 6 ish now. Apparently eating very late isn't good for you eg digestive system and weight gain. Everyone has different lifestyles nowadays so eating times vary. You should have commented on the downside of eating so late.

We sometimes go the pub on a Saturday afternoon and then have food about 8pm or 9pm. I shall feel very posh next time we do this.

@notsohippychick I say supper always have our parents said supper what's the problem??!

Agreed some people are just snobs. I've had it too and then telling me to go home and put on the spuds in a sneering way. But this particular twat is an entitled little rich boy who inherited daddy's business and won't know real life if it bite him on the a...

I don’t get this. I come from a middle class family, as does DH. We live in a picturesque very middle class village and have professional jobs. We always eat early with our Dd’s age 3 and a half and 16 months. I think it’s nice to be able relax after putting Dd’s to bed and not have to worry about cooking.

@leghairdontcare we also sit in our front garden, it’s where we get the best views.

I hate this ridiculous type of snobbery. It’s like those who choose to get up early in the morning and think that makes them so much better than those that sleep later. It doesn’t matter that they were in bed earlier.

We must be incredibly weird as we eat a big meal at lunchtime (take it to work if not working at home that day) and then just something light at dinner time, whenever we are hungry. No set times. Makes we feel very left out!

I call it supper and tend to eat 8ish. Couldn't give a shit what anyone else calls it or when they eat. Kind of pisses me off people calling those that call it supper snobs though... who's being judgmental now...

Next time anyone remarks on this, tell them it's much healthier to eat earlier!

And ignore them. I eat at all sorts of times ... usually when I'm hungry. Sometimes I'll eat at 5pm with the grandchildren, other times it will be 9pm cos I've been to the gym or had a late lunch.

Sod the snobbery ... eat when you prefer to!

Eating your evening meal late is definitely a class thing.....and calling it supper even more so
My mum has supper....but it's a snack sometime after her evening meal and before bedtime.....and she's definitely not posh!

This is so true. There is such a weird superiority complex with those who eat later. I used to live in a house share with friends and they ate later than me, I got sick of their comments about it, it was none of their business what I did. They also used to snack LOADS until they ate dinner which always seemed so bizarre to me who came home, ate dinner and then didn't eat for the rest of the evening

There is the most unbelievable reverse snobbery on Mumsnet against middle/upper classes. Why is it ok to be quite so rude about someone's background if they are not working class, but the roof would cave in if it happened the other way round?

I grew up in the south and I've called it supper my entire life. Never known any different. My in-laws are from Lancashire and call it tea. It never occurred to me that it's a class thing, I figured it's just what they call that meal up north. Same as the way they say bath and I say barth. It's certainly never been an issue, and neither of us sneer at the other for our terminology.

More importantly, why on earth do any of you CARE?!?

Southerners I worked with freely admitted they thought all Northerners were common.

Therein lies the rub.

Jeezo. We're now getting inverted snobbery and stereotypes about southerners and northerners. I call it supper. I'm from up north.

Live and let live people...

We always book meals out for 6 on the dot.

We would generally book a meal out for 8.30pm

We give our sheep 'their tea'

Just a thought: would anybody be a bit annoyed if they couldn't get an appointment with a GP after 4:20pm? Because if the GP is going to eat their tea/dinner/supper at 5, they'd probably have to leave work at, say, 4:50 at the latest.
So, if they're going to document their last consultation by 4:50, the last appointment should probably be at 4:20.

Doesn't sound much of a good service getting a last appointment at 4:20 really.

So, realistically, they may eat at 7:30 to 8pm.
The rest of the family could eat at 5pm to not be snobby, but sometimes partners want to eat together. Families might even want to if the children are old enough to wait.

Sometimes it's a working hours thing, not a snobby thing.

(But as far as the head-tiling and tinkly-laughing woman in the OP is concerned, that was being snobby, imo. And implies a lack of manners)