What on earth is this mealtime snobbery about?

[Diemme]

At 6.45 this evening, DH and I went to sit outside at front of the house to have a coffee and enjoy the last of the sun - we live in a close with benches outside the houses. Almost immediately our neighbours came back from a dog walk. They chatted for a few minutes and then she said she was going in to make dinner. I mentioned just in small talk that we'd already eaten. And I swear she did a head tilt and tinkly laugh as she said gosh that's early. Then she went inside and her husband arranged his face in a sort of patronising / pitiful expression and asked why we'd eaten so early. It's not just them, ive come across it loads of times. It's as if there's a bizarre sense of superiority to eating at 8 rather than say 6.

It's traditionally a class thing, the earlier you eat, the lower class you are, that's why some people act all smug about it.
Much healthier to eat earlier though, I'd comment back that it's bad for your health to eat later.

DD eats at 6/6.30
DH and I eat anytime between 7&9.
DD can’t wait any later and DH gets home from work anytime between 6&8.30.
No snobbery here though!

Discussed this thread with a friend who grew up in a farming community and she said she ate breakfast, dinner, tea and supper however this was 70's / 80's and, as a PP remarked, the portions were not large and definitely depended on who you were in the family i.e. man, woman, child etc. Men / workers on the farm went out after tea to finish what they were doing. 'Supper' was a light snack as they had eaten about 5 - 6 pm, a buttered crumpet, mug of Horlicks etc. Their 'dinner' was their main meal of the day.

For me it's breakfast, lunch and dinner. 6:30am, 12 noon and 7pm ish. Dinner is the main meal of the day. I am not posh, I am not aiming to be anything but who I am. I don't judge people for eating earlier or later.

Up here it's breakfast, dinner and tea.

To eat at 5 you must finish work at 4?

Yes basically. I work 8 to 4. DH works 9-5 and is local so all 4 of us are home by 5.30. We've all had a sandwich type lunch at 12.30 ish so are naturally hungry by 6. I'm home at 4.30 and am happy to start cooking at 5.30. Waiting another 2 hours just wouldn't make sense. I'm convinced now that the snobbery is real for some people.

I think the time of eating dinner would reflect seniority of work roles. Usual for those high up professionally to get home later with not sticking strictly to core 9am-5pm working hours (expected to work longer for much higher salary return), particularly in London. So dinner wouldn't ever be before 7pm (and more likely heading towards 8pm). Certainly the case when I was growing up and for my family currently.

Re supper, what about a fish supper? We don't call it that where I'm from or live but plenty of people do.

Chippy tea here. Although I have a fish and mushy peas (a big tub)

I think it's because if you're in a professional/senior role, it's almost impossible for you to eat earlier than 7. So it's a bit of a class thing still.

I’m up early and in bed by the time all the decent tv shows start so we eat anytime between 5 & 6. Most of my friends eat around 7/8pm but as I’m eating breakfast at 5am I’d be a shaking wreck waiting that long.

Seriously Settle 🙄

I don't eat much in the day so I make dinner as soon as I get in from work at 5pm ish for 6pm when Husband gets in. We eat with teenage child. That's in the week, weekends we just do whatever we feel like. I work for a local company.

Supper was never a middle class thing when I was a child. My parents came home from work, ate at 6 to 6.30. But it was commonplace for us to have a "bit of supper" with a cup of tea about 9 to 9.30. This might be sandwich or cake.
@UpperUplandArea I think you and some other posters are getting mixed up. Nobody is saying that it is middle/upper class to have supper in the sense of a snack before bed in addition to your main evening meal. That’s what most people understand by “supper” and call that meal.

However some people call their evening meal “supper”. eg David Cameron having his mates round for a “kitchen supper” was not making them toast and a hot chocolate at 9pm, he was offering a full meal. Some people, generally fairly posh Southern people, call their evening meal supper.

In my family we called it dinner and ate it at 7.30 with Coronation Street on in the background. The first time a male friend suggested that I “come round for supper” I thought it was some sort of late night booty call! I never heard that meal called supper until I was about 23, and I was fairly well-read and had been to university.

I've always eaten dinner at 6pm.

Loads of my closest friends don't eat till 8 or 9pm and they think I'm very odd, which struck me as peculiar.

My Husband has a senior role but starts early so is very hungry by then and has to get up early.

I’m ready for my 4th meal by 8/9 😂 get up very early, my meals are all over, main meal can be at any time of the day depending on how I feel and what I’ve got on. In all seriousness though I try to avoid eating after 6pm, just so I don’t gain weight, isn’t anything todo with “class” as far as I’m concerned

It’s so the middle and upper classes can tank themselves up on enough wine society Pinot Gris before supper without a pesky booze absorber like food getting in the way.

But seriously, I don’t get the hatred of the word supper. I sometimes try and say tea but feel it’s a bit affected. If you were brought up with a particular word for a meal it’s very hard to call it anything else.

Eating at 5-6 would be my holy grail- better for digestion and sleep- OP you are on a winner, they probably wish they were you!

We always ate at 8ish when I lived at home - my father's evening surgery didn't finish before 7.30 so it wasn't convenient. I have carried this on and could not imagine eating my dinner at 6 pm - what do people DO after dinner if they eat at 6? If we had a main meal at lunchtime for any reason, then, yes, we used to eat supper around 9 and this would be either sandwiches, cold meats, porridge for me, or something like bacon and sausages. Why does the word supper bring such derision?

what do people DO after dinner if they eat at 6?

There are lots of things you can do after dinner with your partner Watch a movie or have an early night. There is more to life than food.

It's very bad for the digestion - and the heart - to eat late in the evening. But it's up to people when they choose to eat.

The way you describe their reaction reminds me of that awful woman in the TV comedy "Mum"- the brother's partner who was always trying to show how superior she was and who, in the process, made herself look really ridiculous.

Breakfast about 7, Lunch about 12.45 and Dinner around 6pm. I don't give a shiny shite what anyone else does/calls it.

We tend to eat around 6, sometimes a bit earlier. That's how I was brought up so just carried it on and I have always done most of the grocery shopping and cooking in our relationship. I work 4 days a week and don't get home until around 6.30 so on those days DH and DD1 are finishing up their TEA () and I quickly scoff some or wait til she's settled for bed. We were occasionally more flexible before DD so if we had a big lunch or something or an event we might eat later but DD can't wait longer than 6 really and we like to eat as a family.

her husband arranged his face in a sort of patronising / pitiful expression and asked why we'd eaten so early.

I'd have asked him er... why do you even want to know that? with a raised eyebrow and feigned incredulous expression on my face or just reply gives us more time for uninterrupted shagging all eve. I'm surprised they weren't aghast at you drinking coffee so late?

It's breakfast, lunch, dinner then supper (snack). Working class. Tea is a hot drink.