What on earth is this mealtime snobbery about?

[Diemme]

At 6.45 this evening, DH and I went to sit outside at front of the house to have a coffee and enjoy the last of the sun - we live in a close with benches outside the houses. Almost immediately our neighbours came back from a dog walk. They chatted for a few minutes and then she said she was going in to make dinner. I mentioned just in small talk that we'd already eaten. And I swear she did a head tilt and tinkly laugh as she said gosh that's early. Then she went inside and her husband arranged his face in a sort of patronising / pitiful expression and asked why we'd eaten so early. It's not just them, ive come across it loads of times. It's as if there's a bizarre sense of superiority to eating at 8 rather than say 6.

DH doesn’t get home until 7.30 - 8, so we eat at about 9. The children get fed at 6.30. We all eat together at about 7 at the weekends. (And we’re all fairly skinny, for those who are concerned for the waistlines of late eaters )

It’s a very odd thing to be judgmental about. If I’d been your neighbour OP my only possible feeling might have been slight envy that you were both home and ready to eat at that time.

Don't most people eat around 7/8 as that's when restaurant bookings are generally busiest.

Maybe that's because people like to come home from work and get showered and changed before going out for dinner? Whereas at home the schedule might be different.

I agree, my point was I don't think it's the norm to eat at 9/10pm otherwise restaurants would be busier.

Also I have French family & they again tend to eat around 7 or 8.

But I had no idea people were judgey about this

We're not at all posh ; we have a kitchen supper at 7pm

Wouldn't suit me, I prefer to not eat anything between 7pm and when I wake up. The only exception is if was out to eat, I'd book for 8/9pm.

I think we should put an end to these endless threads! People eat when they want to and call it what they want and no one should be judgey.

But clearly people have been as a Jane Austen reader upthread noted Elizabeth Bennett visiting her sick sister chez Bingley was snooted at for having an early breakfast (though both families had staff so it was snoot v snoot).

It's also a north/south thing which is being over-ridden as work patterns change. Clearly north or south if you were up very early for a physical job you'd have your breakfast and midday meal early and be hugely hungry by 5pm - and probably hungry enough to have something to snack on before an early bed.

I think the modern difference comes from job location and kids. If you commute into a major city you're going to eat early or not at all, grab lunch at work and eat when you can when you get back. So leave at 7am, commute 2, work 8, back at 7. For people with alternating shifts it must be grab and go which I did pre kids. And I did pay for childcare post kids which meant they were fed.

It must also esp in winter have to do with our daylight differences? ' I'll be in the garden while food cooks a good month longer than someone in Scotland.

As for what you do about book clubs, theatres, films ... you sort it out. In London it was always pre theatre meal with husband at home and then back. Going back from work in central London to the suburbs was 40 minutes each way ... so it was go out or stay in.

I like to have my dinner early (5.30 ish) with the kids so I can do stuff with my evening. I might go for a run when DH gets home from work at 7, then home for a shower then telly or cinema with a friend or read my book. I don't want to get into cooking again. He just reheats his dinner or if it's slow cooker I leave it on warm. It annoys him that i don't wait to have dinner with him but again we get the kids to bed it would be after 8pm. I like to eat when I'm hungry, not be starving for hours just so I can spend 10 minutes eating food at the same time as him.

What!? I’d be surprised but that’s only because I wouldn’t even be home from work much before that, so hardly snobbery. More like, wow, you’re organised!

Seriously, does it matter what someone calls their evening meal. Sneering at people for calling it supper is equally as bad as sneering at people for calling it tea.

When tne kids were small we/they ate at 5 pm as it fitted with our schedule and bedtime . As dh got home later he and I would eat around 8 when the kids were in bed .
Now the kids are a bit older we have settled into a 6.30 meal . Even in the holidays the kids are on school lunch times !
If I eat with dh it’s more likely to be 9-10 but that’s when youngest is settles and I’ve cooked . It never occurred to me it was a class thing !

They can be as posh as they like but eating after 8pm is bad for your health as not only are you more likely to put on weight but it's lethal if (like me) you suffer from reflux.

Obviously it's all dependant on work and lifestyle commitments as to when folks eat but to have actual attitude is just ridiculous.

Ignore them and laugh inwardly that they are ruining their health... mwahahahaha!

We tend to eat about 6 but only because I work from home so can get it on and organised easily. We're up in Scotland where it tends to be 'tea' (traditionally the main meal of the day used to be at lunchtime and this was dinner, when folk worked close to where they lived and came home then). I don't mind what folk call it but folk that refer to having folk round for 'kitchen supper' or even worse 'kitchen sups' put my teeth right on edge!!

*@notsohippychick *

I don't get it? Why is it snobby to call supper supper?! Supper is a late night meal surely?

We eat at 8 but only because I don't get back from work until 7:30 then have to cook
FYI - Supper is the light snack before bed, not main evening meal

Just say you eat early to get your fasting in,isn’t that of huge importance nowadays

I think you might be imagine or imputing this. I eat all over the shop timewise, and don't judge (or think I will be judged) mealtimes. Surely you eat when you are hungry, not to accord to some mythical mealtime clock

Some people can be so strange. I say eat whatever time you like and call it what you like.
I would love to come home to a nice cooked meal at 6ish, but unfortunately as no one else in the house seems capable of cooking they have to wait for me. I’m a teacher but rarely get home before 6.15, so we eat between 7-8,depending on what I’m making x

Why on earth did they comment anyway.
There`s no set rule what time dinner is served.
Personally I prefer between 5-30pm to 6pm.
It may be an age thing.
Work started at around 8am and finished at around 5pm
when I was growing up.
And I kept to the same times to this day.
Those days are well and truly out of the window.

tuberr0se
I don't get it? Why is it snobby to call supper supper?! Supper is a late night meal surely?
.....

It isn't snobbish at all, supper is the last meal of the day unless you go out (or entertain), in which case it is dinner.

I get that it's healthier to eat supper reasonably early in the evening but when people are quite young it matters less. We can all eat late at night (or even early hours of the morning :-)), when we're youngsters. Later in life we tend to sit after a meal and that's not good for digestion.

Supper to me is toast and a drink before bed

Now the kids are teenagers we eat 5-5.30 on the weekend and 5.45 - 6 in the week. When the kids were little and dh not home until 6:30-7 they ate between four and five and we ate after seven once they were in bed.

too much information? you dont need to tell them you ate - i dont think it is welcome information, have more respect for your neighbours by not just 'chatting' at them, telling them anything, everything. employ some intelligence, it is a compliment to do so, and it will be appreciated, im not saying you need to recite shakespear, but dont be so mundane by talking about mundane facts of life. its a bit of in insult to be so boring.

When I was younger eating at 7/8/9pm was my preferred time but in the last decade I felt so much healthier by not eating after 6, it turns out I've been on an intermittent fasting schedule all this time only now it's fashionable

I think your neighbours are the ones behind the times in their eating habits, nothing more ridiculous than snobbish judgement based on nothing other than an irrelevant rigid cultural habit whilst knowledge of how we best process and utilise food has moved on. To each their own but being snobby about it is ignorant.

Supper was never a middle class thing when I was a child. My parents came home from work, ate at 6 to 6.30. But it was commonplace for us to have a "bit of supper" with a cup of tea about 9 to 9.30. This might be sandwich or cake. I dont think we should be rigid about these things, when we eat, it's a movable feast! We eat at different times to the kids, and, yes we let the kids have their phones out at the table. So we are all going to hell in a handcart.

I think the only important thing here is that everybody should be eating at a suitable time so that they can have had their food, cleared up, walked the dogs, got their small kids to bed and be sitting down in front of the telly in time for Coronation Street at 7.30pm.

We usually eat dinner around 8:30 / 9pm. Only because I don’t usually get home from work until around 7ish and then I like to sit down with a cup of coffee and relax for a bit before I start cooking.
In an ideal world I’d eat at around 6. (Although when I have managed to do that I find I’m hungry around 9pm!)