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AIBU?

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Original poster

What on earth is this mealtime snobbery about?

542 replies

Diemme · 27/08/2019 19:44

At 6.45 this evening, DH and I went to sit outside at front of the house to have a coffee and enjoy the last of the sun - we live in a close with benches outside the houses. Almost immediately our neighbours came back from a dog walk. They chatted for a few minutes and then she said she was going in to make dinner. I mentioned just in small talk that we'd already eaten. And I swear she did a head tilt and tinkly laugh as she said gosh that's early. Then she went inside and her husband arranged his face in a sort of patronising / pitiful expression and asked why we'd eaten so early. It's not just them, ive come across it loads of times. It's as if there's a bizarre sense of superiority to eating at 8 rather than say 6.

OP posts:
Igotthemheavyboobs · 28/08/2019 07:28

I wish I had my shit together enough to have dinner ready for 6! Grin

RoseMartha · 28/08/2019 07:37

Supper to me is a small snack or hot drink before bed. I Usually just have a hot drink.

We eat dinner anytime between 5.30 and 7. Because sometimes the kids have clubs so that pushes dinner to be later. On a regular day I would say we eat about 5.30-6pm.

Shoxfordian · 28/08/2019 07:39

We generally eat dinner around half 7
My dh doesn't get home until half 6 so we have a drink first and usually a biscuit then eat later. No need for any snobbiness about it though, eat when it suits you!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 28/08/2019 07:43

We have our tea at about 5pm! DS has dinner early at school (12pm) and as I only do part time hours I don't have a dinner break so I just have a quick snack at my desk. We're always ready to eat early.

We are early risers though and go to bed early, so our meals are usually earlier than most people have them.

Ikeameatballs · 28/08/2019 07:51

My evening meal time has varied hugely since having dc.

When they were little on days when I wasn’t at work I’d usually eat with them at about 5.30.

When I was at work and they were a bit older they’d have been eating before I left work/was on my way home. I’d have then put them to bed and started cooking for me after 8pm.

Now I get home between 6-6:30 and then start to sort out a meal so we eat at around 7.

I prefer the current arrangement but couldn’t care less what anyone else did!

NanooCov · 28/08/2019 08:00

We have dinner at 6.30pm with the kids (they will have had tea at nursery at about 3/3.30pm) but before kids we used to eat about 8pm. We will probably start eating later again come September as the kids will be having dinner at 5pm at the childminders before we pick them up (eldest is starting school and both kids moving to childminder for convenience).

Macca284 · 28/08/2019 08:07

@chickenyhead

Matching mugs?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3673656-To-not-want-mismatched-mugs

georgialondon · 28/08/2019 09:11

I think younger people eat later. My parents eat at 6, we eat at 9.

Hannahthepink · 28/08/2019 09:47

This is brilliant, I thought it was just my Mum that felt like this! She comes from a middle class French background and always used the early dinner thing against my Dad working class English people. She would always marvel at people in restaurants finishing meals before we were starting ours, and would always make a point of asking the staff why they were closing the kitchen so early (at 9 or even 10pm). I love her dearly, but this bit of snobbery has always driven me crazy!

ElizaDee · 28/08/2019 09:55

We don't eat at set times. It all depends what we've had to do after work. If I go to the pool we eat later. If we go for a long dog walk we eat later. If we cook the dogs food as soon as we get in we eat later (we feed a homemade diet). If DH walks the dogs earlier in the day we eat earlier. It all depends. I prefer to eat no later than 8 as I then break fast at 12 the next day and that gives long enough between meals but that's not set in stone.

LaurieFairyCake · 28/08/2019 10:10

There's clearly something wrong with my body that doesn't fit into middle class life as I've got older - if I eat past 7 I get horrid indigestion in bed.

So I eat around 6 if I can.

whattodowith · 28/08/2019 10:25

Most people can’t wait until 8pm to eat dinner especially if you have children and want to eat as a family. I’d be starving if I waited until 8pm. It’s 6-6:30pm for us.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 28/08/2019 10:26

I don't have set meal times, I just eat when I'm hungry. I had tea at 9pm on Monday night, but about 630 last night. It depends what I'm doing and my appetite.

Lindormilk · 28/08/2019 10:55

Wales here and We eat tea between 5-6. Its tea time, since i was a kid and DH too.

His brother lives in the south of England and will happily eat at 9 or 10pm. Done so since he married an English woman so must be down to that

HariboLecter · 28/08/2019 11:01

and/or you don’t have a sensible/serious job because if you did you wouldn’t be home until probably gone 6pm.

Fucking hilarious GrinGrinGrin

MzHz · 28/08/2019 11:14

It’s when they call it “Supper” that really winds me up. It’s Tea, or Dinner. Saying you eat “Supper” means you have ideas of grandeur! Lol!

My OH calls it that. his kids apparently snorted at a friend of his who said 'Tea'. But they are all posh (I'm not). Manners aren't widely taught in such high circles.

He thought it was funny. I thought that was rude actually, but they are not my kids - I wasn't even on the scene back then so was thankfully saved the embarrassment such behaviour would have caused.

I just inwardly eyeroll whenever he says it and maintain either Tea or Dinner....

MzHz · 28/08/2019 11:16

Oh and we eat our food (Tea/Supper whatfuckingever) usually about 6.30/7pm... and as I said, my OH is dead posh....

I'd say your neighbours have got too much time on their hands... they're probably hungry too Grin

tirednhungry247 · 28/08/2019 11:22

I ate my tea at 10:30pm last night as I was super busy decorating and things

Your neighbours would be flabbergasted Grin

Ponoka7 · 28/08/2019 11:26

MeganTheVegan

This is what I have noticed on here:

"Working Class people eat Tea at 6pm.
Middle Class people (or those aspiring to be) eat Dinner at 7pm.
Upper Class people (or those aspiring to be) eat Supper at 8-9pm."

If you order in a pizza, or pick up a chippy to eat while you watch, Emmerdale/ Corrie, what does that make you?

I'd rather wait and watch something like Vera (around 9) while eating, but im certainly not aspiring to be anything but fed and entertained.

OtraCosaMariposa · 28/08/2019 11:34

Agree that it's a manual labour thing. Although most office jobs are traditionally 9-5, anyone who has ever had building work done knows that builders start work around 8 and are finished for the day by 3.30pm, 4 at the latest. And if you're working outside you'd definitely by home by 4 in the winter as it's dark. So manual workers are home and ready to eat by 5pm.

Office workers and the professions would be home later, and eat later.

Obviously it's all changed and there are lots of reasons why people eat when they want to. We generally have our main meal around 6.15 or 6.30 because that's when DH is home and it gives time to eat and clear away before guides / scouts / drama whatever starting at 7.30 most nights.

OtraCosaMariposa · 28/08/2019 11:36

Oh and also, with young children if you are eating late, after the kids have gone to bed, you're cooking twice.

Fuck that. Everyone eats at the same time in this house, I'm not creating double the work for myself.

emilybrontescorsett · 28/08/2019 11:38

Who cares what time you eat.
Are they elderly?
My ex in laws did everything to a timetable, everything. Totally boring.

Sooverthemill · 28/08/2019 11:43

We eat quite early now (6.30) as we got used to it with family meals. Used to eat later (7.30 ish) pre kids. DH has family who only ever have their evening meal at 9.30 and wouldn't allow our kids to eat earlier or for them to have a snack to keep them going. They told us repeatedly that our kids needed to learn to eat later! We used to take snacks and leave them in our room when we had to stay with them. Utterly insane, our DC used to dread staying with those relatives ( me too). They were just snobs imo but then I'm working class and they most definitely are not. One holiday with them was horrendous when they expected everyone to eat a posh meal out at lunch and then not eat again until breakfast! I try not to see them now

SoyDora · 28/08/2019 11:48

Fuck that. Everyone eats at the same time in this house, I'm not creating double the work for myself

We eat separately but no way I’d cook twice either. I cook for the kids, DH cooks for us generally.

hooraysuperworm · 28/08/2019 11:48

My parents - very middle class but from working class backgrounds - always ate around 9pm, because my dad wouldn’t be home from work until then. Us children were fed earlier, and my stepmum ate with us if our dad was abroad for business.

We eat as soon as I get home from work, at around 6pm (teacher). DH is home earlier and cooks, This suits us as I then tidy up kitchen and put DD9mo to bed, then spend the evening doing planning etc.

I think it probably was a class thing in the past, but now it’s a work schedule thing.