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AIBU?

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Original poster

How old is old enough to leave on own at night?

47 replies

Squirrel1234 · 27/08/2019 08:25

Hi.... we're meant to be going out on friday night, but can't find a babysitter. My husband thinks my 13 year old daughter and a friend that's staying (the same age) would be fine to be left on their own. We're not going far away. I'm not so sure though..... what age is old enough to leave on their own in the evening?

OP posts:
Larlarleighlee · 27/08/2019 08:27

I can remember being left alone every thursday evening while my parents went out i was much younger than 13. Is she a mature 13 iykwim. X

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 27/08/2019 08:28

I would leave a confident 13 year old for a short while, 2-3 hrs tops, if I wasn't going far away and could be easily contacted. Not sure about a friend though, is the friend sensible and are her parents happy with you leaving her?

daisypond · 27/08/2019 08:28

Do you mean overnight? Do the other girl’s parents know? How sensible are they? But If it’s overnight, no, they’re not old enough.

bridgetreilly · 27/08/2019 08:29

I would leave them but I'd make sure I wasn't back later than about 10-10.30pm.

edgeofheaven · 27/08/2019 08:33

I'm sure I was left at home alone at 13 for a few hours at a time but not with a friend over. You'd have to be very clear with her parents that there is no adult in the house and make sure they are OK with that.

Kublai · 27/08/2019 08:35

I would expect a responsible adult to be at the home if my 13 year was invited over.

cookiechomper · 27/08/2019 08:36

It depends how sensible the child is and whether they would feel confident left alone rather than worried or scared. I think most 13 year olds with a sensible friend should be fine. Not overnight though.

cranstonmanor · 27/08/2019 08:40

I'm feeling old now. When we were 13 we were the babysitter.

itsasausage · 27/08/2019 08:41

i was left 7-11pm most fridays, no problems but I was mature and knew what to do if there were any issues. Also had some good neighbours I could have called on if I needed anything.

Chitarra · 27/08/2019 08:42

I think that's fine, but as you have your DD's friend in your care you should check with her parents in case they disagree.

Speakercube · 27/08/2019 08:42

Not overnight but nearby for a few hours OK and as long as the other dds parents OK with that.

WhatHaveIFound · 27/08/2019 08:43

I'd have no problem leaving two 13 year olds at home for the evening but i'd check with the friend's parents that they're ok with it too.

Di11y · 27/08/2019 08:44

her friends mum might think v differently. you need to check with her too.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/08/2019 08:44

If your 13 year old is ok with being left for a few hours at night that’s your decision but you need to check with the parents of the other girl as they will likely assume an adult is home. That way they can agree or change the date knowing the facts.

Coldilox · 27/08/2019 08:45

I was left alone in the evening from about 11 or 12. Left alone overnight at 14. Was also babysitting for younger kids at this age until around midnight fairly frequently.

That was a 24 years ago now. My son is only 5 so I have no idea.

Coldilox · 27/08/2019 08:46

Agree you need to check with friends parents

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 27/08/2019 08:49

I've started leaving my 14 yo at night but he likes it if we're back by his bedtime - fair enough. I think you probably should check with the other girl's parents too, but I wouldn't have any problem leaving them in principle.

KUGA · 27/08/2019 08:52

I left my boys alone at home once they started seniors.
As long as the other parents know I can`t see it being a problem.
Hope you have a nice evening.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 27/08/2019 08:58

Overnight, no but for a few hours fine so long as the other girl's parents are on board.

Jayaywhynot · 27/08/2019 08:59

I agree with the poster who said they were babysitting at 13, me too! I think 13 yr olds are much more savvy now. If your daughter is a mature 13 then yes but I'd check with the other parents. Set ground rules, no one else is to come in, dont post on social media that they are home alone, dont open the door to anyone, ring you if they are worried about anything etc. They will probably enjoy being "grown ups " for the evening

lovelookslikethis · 27/08/2019 09:00

You need to check with friends parents, and only be out for a few hours tops ( and be able to drive back in an emergency)
You have a responsibility to the other child whilst they are staying with you, and their parents of course.

saffy1234 · 27/08/2019 09:00

I think if you are questioning it then its a no go.
My son is nearly 15 and I wouldn't leave him i just don't feel comfortable

Nellamelia · 27/08/2019 09:05

I'd have been fine on say a Tuesday night with a friend for a few hours. But on a friday night at 13 we'd definitely have been messing about, more than one friend would appear and also possibly boys. We had great times at that age with an 'empty' turning up the music, dancing on the couch, phoning boys on the landline 😂

WhatsNextMrsLandingham · 27/08/2019 09:06

Could you do a 'dry run', as in go to the shops for an hour or so with the proviso that your DD has the door key at the ready, she has your mobile numbers and texts you after, say, half an hour to say she's alright?

In my experience the first time was worrying but after that it was fine. I would check with the other girl's parents though that this arrangement is ok with them.

ASauvignonADay · 27/08/2019 09:07

Depends on the child - will they behave and could they cope in an emergency (ie. if injured or a fire for example). I know too many teens who would get up to no good, but plenty who would be absolutely fine.

I would definitely check with the other parent first.